by WTWizard 14 Replies latest watchtower beliefs
JeffT, my family did the same. Everybody got presents on my parents anniversary. This is something my wife and I still do together.
I'll never forget the Christmas Eve where my Dad bought me and my sister a bunch of presents and stacked them in the living room floor in a pyramid, emphasizing that they weren't for Christmas. That was a fun night, but it's hilarious looking back on it. We didn't feel bad about not getting presents that year when the school kids asked what we got.
i always got presents year round, and yes my dad and stepmom's Anniversary was always a time for the kids to recieve gifts too. The whole "not getting presents on Xmas" thing never bothered me, because I truly did get presents all year round from my family. I just hated being the kid doing the alternative craft, paper etc. around the holidays in Elementary/Jr. High.
WE had not Christmas-on the 26th or new years eve or new years day. My dad was not a JW, but he only let it go so far (thanks Dad!)
I still had that weird feeling though and it was funny to have this conversation with a Muslim friend who is upset about her children being told the Santa Clause fable and making sure they don't participate in any holiday themed parties at school (which are really pretty much winter themed at this point, anyway). I told her to lighten up. Don't tell the "all presents" lie to kids. Don't tell them the best gift is God, blah, blah blah. You know what I really missed? the good FEELINGS that people associate with Christmas-being with family, buying gifts for those in greater need, being kind, making goodies, singing songs.
I told her not to be a killjoy with her comments. I told her to remember that her kids are not stupid and not greedy for looking at all the celebratory stuff and feeling left out. I told her how to avoid that feeling-DO NICE STUFF for each other, for neighbors, for their teachers. Make them cookies or make them a thank you card or an "I love you" card/gift sometimes. Make up their own family outreach days to be extra kind/helpful/giving. All the best parts of Christmas really were not about "getting shit" it was about giving up or sacrificing for others. TRULY do that-not field service. Not just a smile. Make an outright effort and go out of your way and be inconvenienced for other people. It makes you feel GOOD. And don't make your kids stay out of all the parties. They don't have anything to do with religion anymore anyway except for valentines day (and only in name). Don't make them stay out of the singalongs (which aren't religious anymore, just thematic for season). Don't make them be the weirdos any more than the BOOK actually indicates (don't worship any other gods and don't eat pork-pretty much the only things related to holidays or school that could get them into trouble). I mostly cautioned her that the "presents all year" and "Being Muslim is the best gift" is total BS to any little child and it will make them hate their religion (even just a little) because they are going to associate YOUR lie with their knowledge of the BS. She doesn't have money to give the kids gifts any time of the year. And she doesn't have much for them. She is a hardworking single mom. My husband and I are helping out with as much as we can, and I have found this new way to help-to give those kids the good feeling days. My mom (the JW) had a traditional yearly event with us ON OUR BIRTHDAYS or thereabouts to take a day off of school and play hookey. She took us out to buy us something we needed, went to "the city" and woolworths lunch counter (back in the day!) and then to a movie. We really did think that rivaled anyone elses birthday cause we had special time with our mom. We still called BS on Christmas because we were missing the togetherness/family/dinner/goodwill/peace/charity thing.
Not everyone is Christian, but we don't have to ruin it for everyone else or even ourselves by refraining from the actual holiday. The good parts transcend religion and people need to acknowledge it, whether they are Muslim, JW, Jewish or Buddhist. Most DO and I know lots of Muslims who do. I'm going to at least two christmas parties this year so far. Donating to the shelters and the kids toy drives and I'm doing what I can for all of my little friends who could use some more joy-of any denomination:)
Beautifully put JWDaughter!
We never received gifts all year round. My father would purchase the occasional ball. The neighborhood kids had so much loot. We were orphans. Kids refused to play with us. In particular, we had no fire power compared to the Roman Catholic kids. If I were fortunate enough to have children, I would not allow guns, machine guns, bazookas, etc. Mostly we played history games. My brother invented a gun to play cowboys and Indians with his finger.
Oh, they appeared so loved. The sense of isolation and why can't my parents love me was so keen on Christmas. It hurt my stomach. Once I was hospitalized during Christmas and received a gift from the hospital volunteers. It was soap on a rope and some dusting powder. Pulling the wrapping paper off, I felt so special. I was almost a teenager but I will never forget the feeling.
I've talked with Jewish friends excessively about this. They had their community. We really had no community.
My parents were strange. It seemed yet another punitive abuse from my father with my mother crying all over the place. My JW gm and aunt took is to Macy's every Christmas season. We could have one gift within a certain budget. Every year we had to hear for ten minutes why it was just an ordinary gift. Well, I could see Santa Claus. I used to believe you had to be born of very special parents to see Santa Claus. My family did the Fifth Avenue window displays and the tree at Rockefeller Center. Basically, we did enough for the Witnesses to damn us. I used to wonder what Jehovah thought. Yet we never made it to normal kids. I knew we would all die at Armageddon b/c we adored the Christmas tree at Rockefeller Center. Since we were going to die, why could we not have Christmas gifts.
I am curious if any families made the same compromises. My siblings and I never discuss the abuse. It makes them very uncomfortable. They are the only people who know what happened in the family behind closed doors. Their insight would be so valuable to me. Not long ago my brother and I walked through Wal-Mart, I whispered to my brother to look in a certain direction. A preschool kid was getting a ball from a parent. I commented that it was a momentous occasion--a kid getting a ball. Divine. My brother acknowledged that we had so few toys. He said that when he learned the price of balls, he became furious. Maybe some JW kids get gifts all year round. Christmas is Christmas. I never saw many toys with JW kids. It could have been the poverty.
