Walk into your Kingdom Hall and tell us what you saw !

by RULES & REGULATIONS 38 Replies latest watchtower beliefs

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  RULES & REGULATIONS

  This was me driving into the parking lot and into the Kingdom Hall:

  Every week the same brothers and sisters are late getting to the meeting. Elders are talking with other Elders ( who always have notes and folders in their hands). "Brother Kiss Ass " is always around the Elders hoping he'll get more privilages. Shy Brother is sitting down until meeting starts and leaves as soon as meeting ends.

  The sisters have way too much perfume and makeup on. Their long dresses make them look Amish. "Brother $2000 suit" and "Brother $200 off the rack suit" both are talking to beautiful sisters (who in the real world would never have a chance but here will marry with no problem).

  The sound guy never has the right mix ( too loud or not loud enough ) and sometimes plays the wrong song. Everyone stares at him and laughs.

  Everyone takes their seats except a few and have to be reminded again. ( They talk like they haven't seen each other in years).

  The opening song is awful and the singing is dreadful. Sister (Opera Singer) always sings the loudest and oversings and wish she would stop soon.

  The opening prayer is short as usual by ( Brother Up and Coming). Please bless the Elders is always mentioned.

  The 30 minute talk is boring as usual and has been done before 100 times. Everyone claps and as usual the smart ass teen always claps the longest so he and his friends can laugh.

  The Watchtower meeting is about the Faithful and Discreet Slave and how they dispense Spiritual Food. Little kids comment ! How cute!

  The meeting finally ends!
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  Watkins

  So this is what those of us who haven't been to the kh in ages are missing? yawn.... barf.

  Thanks for the reminder of what we're blessed to miss out on!

  W~
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  ShirleyW

  You summed it up quite well except for Bro Juststartedattending's mentally ill sister who instead of raising her hand to comment just blurts out whatever comes to mind.whenever she feels like it.
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  sir82

  You forgot the "urgent" elder mini-conferences in the lobby during the meeting.

  At any given time, 2 or 3 elders with very stern faces will be speaking in hushed tones, back by the literature counter or coat room while the meeting is going on. Like they are dealing with very important issues and it could not possibly wait for 45 more minutes until the meeting ends.

  Oh, you also forgot the bored, restless, 3 year old kid whose parents won't give him so much as a coloring book to occupy him.

  Finally he starts squirming too much, and exasperated dad takes him off to the back.

  "No don't take me there!" he shrieks as they leave the auditorium, and the sadists in the audience suppress laughs at the wallopin' li'l johhny is about to get.
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  RULES & REGULATIONS

  sir82 said: You forgot the "urgent" elder mini-conferences in the lobby during the meeting.

  Yes! These are the same Elders who have talks on how members take way too many bathroom breaks but somehow they get up more than others and talk in the lobby or library.
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  truthseekeriam

  Don't forget " perfect sister" who always feels the need to straighten your kids tie or move the tiny hair that's out of place on their head.
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  Stand for Pure Worship

  lol at this hater thread.
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  AlphaMan

  Makes perfect sense to me that the most intelligent & powerful being who created all visable & invisable would want all to stand up for pure worship of him like this.
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  wasblind

  LOL, This thread reminds me of the MS who sported an outta date raggedy ass homemade fade

  cuz he couldn't afford to go to the Barber shop

  .

  .

  Past his prime. And the closest thing he probably ever had to a real date

  was the palm of his hand

  .

  .

  So Sad. This ain't a hater thread SFPW

  It's a reality check

  .
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  Stand for Pure Worship

  Wuz, I'm not knocking it, don't get me wrong, but it does come off like a hater thread. Plenty of truth in this thread but this stood out to me.

  Brother $2000 suit" and "Brother $200 off the rack suit" both are talking to beautiful sisters (who in the real world would never have a chance but here will marry with no problem).

  I mean, that's hating lol. Other than that, plenty of truth in that post and this thread. Hilarious too.