Thank you all for your kind words. I woke up this morning and saw your posts and felt so great. Thank you.
I know that my journey isn't complete. I feel like the brothers may show up one day and demand our intentions. Especially if the see my decorations I'm collecting for next year. LOL. When that time comes, I feel strong and secure enough now to respectfully tell them, they can decide what they want. They can announce what they want, but there is no way I am coming back. I respectfully refuse to play that game. I have no anger towards the brothers who are being controlled, but feel sorry for them. I think the best thing I can do is be loving, kind, respectful. Maybe one of those brothers may be feeling trapped as well.
I also don't want my children to believe my childhood was horrible. It was messed up for sure, but I know my parents did what they thought was right. Both left years before me. That was a hard confusing time. My dad was a PO all my childhood. My children know my dad as a fun loving guitar playing motorcycle riding hippy. Very different then the man I knew as a child. I'm grateful for the change. My mom remarried a wonderful man who always has time for her. Watching my mom while I grew up, was the biggest deterrent to being a witness. I told my husband before we married that he could not be an elder, based off what my mom's life was like. We have been married now 18 years.
Thankfully my husband has agreed to leaving too, his journey has been different then mine. As you can guess, I like to talk about it. But he is more private. I like to talk about all the little challenges I face- for example: I worked at a school for a few years. It was a child's birthday. They passed out cup cakes. I ate mine almost immediately. LOL...the Little boy next to me noticed. He quietly told me I am suppose to wait for the birthday child to take a bite. He then proceeded to get me another one. LOL. Moments like that...lol seriously. There are so many more. But I better go now, dinner needs to be started.
Take care! And thank you!