My mother is here (page 2)

happy@last

Hi, I have read your mom's post and I see a glimmer of hope. Of course I do not know all the details or the people concerned but I do not sense spite in either of your posts, only hurt. Why not arrange for just the 2 of you to meet in a neutral location over a coffee and see if you cannot try to heal the wounds on terms you can both agree on?

Julia Orwell

Yeah, your mum is reaching out to you in a way. The fact she found you here and responded and tried to friend you on Facebook proves she's reaching out. I think you should set a good example and be reachable. A jw would shun and ignore such outreach but you're better than that. There's hurt there I can see, but you can heal. You've both said your pieces so now is the time to try to heal the breach. Her authentic self has broken through her cult persona and you must encourage it to keep pushing through until she's free of the cult.

quellycatface

I always said "god works in mysterious ways", regardless of your religous affiliations.you are being gracious and kind which is inspirational.hope you and mum can build some solid bridges.take care now.xx

SweetLittleMAJM

Thank you for your wise insight happy@last

Last night when I was looking through the topics mzmmom post pop up. I got worried about her and she is not a throw away kid. I have been thinking about posting here for the past few weeks in some way so she would know it was me but decided not to. I really did not want to post on this forum, yet. I have three family members that are Jehovah’s Witnesses and I really wanted time to get them thinking. I let my mother instinct kick in this morning and now I really hope others that know us do not find out from her. This is her happy spot so I won’t be back. There are other sites I can go. Love you sweet mzmmom and those beautiful little kids. If you are happy I am happy. Bye babe

Hope the best for all of you on this site.

Black Sheep

Welcome to the forum

"I let my mother instinct kick in this morning..."

The more you let you mother instinct override your JW training, the better your relationships with your non-JW kids will be. You chose to raise her in a religion with a history of failed prophetic mumbo jumbo, so according to Deut 18:20-22 you don't have any high ground to look down your kids from if they don't join, or leave.

I've apologized to my kids. What are you going to do?

Chris

jwfacts

SweetLittleMAJM - your message here is kind and it is hard to know how to respond.

My mother mostly shuns me, but tries to reach out through my wife to speak to her grandson. I will never be able to respect her for falling prey so such a blatantly false religion, and dragging the rest of my family through it. I could still love her though, and want her in my life regardless, except for the fact that she chose the religion over me and shunned me. It is very hard to ever forgive that. On another thread you tried to justify yourself by saying your Catholic brother did the same. That is totally irrelevant. A mother should have a bond for a child that is far stronger than what any religious leader dictates to them. Human nature, love and Christian standards all should naturally tell you that you should have a relationship with your family regardless of what they choose to believe. Being a JW makes it hard, as you have to covertly be in communication, but your daughter and grandchildren should know that they come first.

jgnat

I would suspect also that your daughter needs reassurance that you will not be overcome by a fit of conscience and reject her again.

adamah

Interesting turn of events....

First off, kudos to SweetlilMAJM for reaching out to her daughter: you all know what risk that represents for her Mom, as she risks being on the other end of the same treatment by other family members. I know many here would be thrilled if their posting on JWN led someone in their family to reach out in this manner to them, yet miffed, as it means the ball is in their court now, and they have to decide to do the hard work of repairing the relationship....

What a nasty social dynamic that the JWs have created and institutionalized, with everyone in a Mexican Standoff, knowing that all others in their lives wield shun guns.

None of my business, of course, but this seems to be the best turn of events possible, since it now allows for DISCREET conversations off-line so as to come to some sort of agreement, and even a possible awakening of those still in.

It's sad that grandchildren have to be used as emotional pawns, but then again, if they can help liberate their grandparents from the JWs, it can be their greatest gift they could even give them.

Of course, exposing the children to facing people coming in and out of their lives is potentially emotionally-disruptive, but on the other hand, such is life: they'll have to encounter such human dynamics at some point in their lives, as nothing is guaranteed in life, and we have to learn forgiveness of others, no matter what the self-perceived risks are. The alternative is to cling to bitterness and hostilities, and that's no way to live a life (which is what shunning leads to, whether it's done driven by JW theology or out of a sense of self-preservation).

Adam

flipper

I'm totally in the dark here. Been off the board for a couple days. MZMMOM can you provide a link to another thread that explains the situation a little more ? Or perhaps give us more information if you so choose please ? Thanks

jgnat

mzmmom is the daughter, sweetlittleMAJM is the mother. More is here:

http://www.jehovahs-witness.net/jw/experiences/268980/1/My-parents-threw-me-away

My mother is here

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