Waiting for an apology?

LDH

I was recently talking to a friend, an ex-admin from Witnet, who said that they felt I was 'owed' an apology because of an offensive remark made on this board.

I didn't give it too much credence, since from time to time we all say things we shouldn't, but it did start a dialogue between us about things we would apologise for if we could.

On a really 'general' note, I mentioned I would apologise to every householder to whom I might have came across as being God's Finger on their doorstep.

For people who are supposed to be humble, when you are told every day of your life that you have the 'truth,' it becomes obvious that everyone else has a 'lie.' Therefore, it's not too hard to picture yourself being sanctimonious at the door while preaching the Gospel of our Lord Jesus.

I really can't comment on what he said because I would reveal his identity and don't have his permission to do so, but suffice it to say he wanted to apologise for pushing off his personal preferences on others (which he didn't even believe but which were being taught as the Word of God). He was an elder for many years, and wanted to apologise to people who came to him for scriptural comfort but whom he beat down (my words not his) even further by finding fault.

Any takers?

Pathofthorns

I too would like to apologize for being a part of a system that held people down. I know while many of us did what we thought was the right thing to do, I realize in retrospect I was offering people slavery in exchange for the freedom they already had.

Sometimes I wish I could go back to all the people I called on and studied with and tell them just how sorry I am.

Path

TMS

Lisa:

You know I have always enjoyed your posts.

My impression was on December 18, when you first posted here, that you were still an active Witness. I wondered to myself how long you would continue to be.

Do I detect in your references to JW activity a past tense?

BTW, my hat is off to you for the commonsensical way you seem to be raising your offspring.

TMS

SixofNine

Lisa, ex witnet admin? In that case he is no doubt a braindead fellow who is always on the wrong side of everything, including the pond and the Catholic/Protestant issue . An ex-elder to boot eh? Man, that has to be hard to live with.

I never took the ms/elder route, I'd like to think it is because of my unfailing character, but more likely, had anyone taken the time and initiative to "groom" me, I probably would have been led right along, and gotten quite used to the status. In any case, I am glad I never was, as that keeps me from being quite as "beat-guilty" as some of my fellow ex's.

The irony though, is that I ended up with a bible student (one of only 3 or so in my entire career) just as I was seeing the "real" truth. It really made me think, and probably hastened my departure. I realized there was so very little about the "truth" that I felt at all confident was the "truth". Fortunately, I don't have to apologize to him.

I'd like to apologize to Richard Clintsman for being a complete jerk and not attending your wifes funeral. I don't blame you one bit for throwing the brochures I gave you into the trash unread.

Edited by - SixofNine on 14 February 2001 0:46:36

TMS

Somewhat back to Lisa's original post.

Without apology, I've been a prolific apologizer my entire adult life.
My wife, for one, is not impressed with my apologies and often cites the old line: "Apologies are like a rubber eraser."

In the mid-60's I made a rude and awkward exit from a conversation with an educated man, much my senior, with whom I was engaged in animated debate. . . . Feeling shame over the inappropriate handling of the situation, I returned a dozen or more times at all hours of the day to extend my apology. Finally, making contact, I extended my sincere apology. He, in turn, apologized.

Now deceased Joel Meeks, Circuit Overseer, made an obvious misapplication of scripture in a service talk to the congregation. A couple of elders approached him about correcting the point before leaving the congregation. He refused.

Eugene R. Brandt, District Overseer, made it a practice to stop everything at a circuit assembly, if he realized he had made an error of some sort. He begged humbly the audience's forgiveness. (Several years later, I found him not nearly so humble in real life.)

I had intended for this post to be a personal review of the things for which I should apologize, but my thoughts are convoluted and fragmented.

For now,

TMS

mommy

I personally have no problem apologizing. In fact I do it alot!
There was a time on this board when someone used the word "retard" and I almost asked this person to make an apology for using that word. Kinda like if I called someone cancer or high blood pressure or (cover your ears) heart attack! A "retard" is a disease you can't do anything about, and much love and compassion is required for this person afflicted to live a "normal" life.
Back to the apology thing...just because I was offended by his remarks, they were his and if he wants to frequent this term he is able to do so. This DB is so open and the lot of us are good hearted people and I personally have seen alot of apologies going on here But I have also seen alot of people stand their ground, and stand up for what they believe in, with no apology to anyone
wendy

thinkers wife

For me this is a very difficult issue. I "helped" at least nine people to join the org. And this is sometimes hard to live with.
But they apparently still think it is right. I do know that when I "witnessed" to people, my heart was in the right place. I truly thought I was helping them and doing the right thing.
One of the people I studied with, became my very dearest friend. She is not talking to me now of course. This breaks my heart. I do know that over-all being a JW, has improved her quality of life. I just wish she could see the forest for the trees. I wish she could still live a better life with an open mind. She mentioned to my mother after I left the org. "Was everything she taught me and the way she was, just a lie?" I wish I could explain this to her. Maybe some day I will have the opportunity.
TW

Pathofthorns

TW

That is one of the most difficult things. It brings you face to face with what you have done and there is nothing sadder than seeing a student devastated that his teacher has abandoned everything he taught him. If only you could take them asside and explain. But that's just not possible.

Path

logical

Why should we apologise to Waiting?

>>> http://www.geocities.com/logical_7/index.html

LDH

Six,

Shame on you! ;) The Catholic/Protestant thing made a rather large WHOOSH!!! as it sailed overhead. I wish I could remember the names of all of my worldly friends who got married with me not in attendance (because said wedding was at a church). I would also apologise.

TMS,

Nice to see you! Actually, instead of going off topic if your email is unlocked, I'll send you one. But, I have to say, apologies can be cathartic to the person giving them as well as receiving them. For instance, Englishman stated that he wanted a 'groveling apology' from the Society (so have quite a few others). I don't think it would actually make him go back to being a JW, but it would be good to see the WBTS admit openly and apologetically admit where they have been wrong. Perhaps in this fashion they would be able to salvage what is left and move on.

Mommy,
So far here no one has mentioned 'conversational style' as a reason to make an apology. Everyone has their own style which another may or may not like. I think what we are talking about here falls more under the line of attacking someone, brow-beating someone, refusing to do/not do something 'in the name of the truth' when you realize later you should have done the exact opposite. Like 6of9 not going to that funeral.

Waiting for an apology?

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