Middle of the Night Thoughts

teenyuck

I wish they were of sex.....

As I lay in bed last night, feeling like an alien was in my stomach, I thought of a few things.

Since I seem to be posting fluff all the time, I decided to put my thoughts on to paper.

1. Subjection-I saw this posted somewhere in the last few days on another JW only board. As I thought more and more about it, I became angrier and angrier.

This idea that woman must take a back seat to any male is very bad. I can recall being told this and reading it in the WT literature.

I believe this has an effect on women that is rarely discussed. The effect is that you believe it. Over the years it eats away at you and you start to think boys are better, smarter, faster, etc. I know personally that this was the case. My first job out of college convinced me I am not a stupid doormat, however, there are always lingering thoughts.

I very rarely debate/argue etc. with men. I just don't feel up to it. As I look back, I attribute this to the JW's pushing this thought process on my mother and then on to me.

The second issue has to do with Jesus. As JW teaching goes, he is God's son. Who is his mother? An angel? Was he created out of vapor? If so, then he is like every other angel out there. They came from somewhere and God must have created them. Mary does not count; she was human.

If God has no wife, then what/who was Jesus? Was he a kid who got fingered at birth and then 30 years later pops up on the religious scene to change things simply because he was told it was his fate? Was he a nut who really believed he was God's son?

But, the main idea I had was: if he actually was some celestial being, in my mind he would be an angel who God took special interest in. Kinda like an adoption.

This is all assuming that there is a God. Which I don't believe.

I was (still am) very ill. I think I have food poisoning or something like it. I went to dinner at a local upscale diner. Had a pineapple martini before dinner. The pineapple was turning black/brown in places, so I did not eat it. The martini tasted like watered down pineapple juice.

The effect was a raging case of puke etc. in the middle of the night. Hours later (about 6 after dinner) my stomach felt and sounded like an alien was trying to escape. I called the restaurant and told them I thought the pineapple was bad. Anyway, that is why I was awake and brooding in the middle of the night. It got me thinking...always scary!

Any thoughts opinions on the above would be welcome.

edited for typos

rekless

let me put your mind at ease...it is well documented that the male species is the weaker sex, we die younger have more serious illnesses, we fall apart physically well before women.

So hope this makes you feel better.

It is just a physical thing that men are bigger,faster, and can jump higher than women who venture in the same activites.

Women fast pitch softball can still strike out a professional baseball player.

Men can slam dunk a basketball@ 10 ft. Most women can't.

Sorry we all entered the organization with both eyes open as far as the headship thing...hell there was a lot of sisters a hell of a lot smarter than me...but then again we were all wrong anyways so it doesn't make any difference who was leading who in the long run.

Cheer up as I said you will out live most of all the males you know..

Advance heart & vascular Specialists
Ram K. Singh, MD., F.A.C.C.
4432 S. Eastern Ave.
Las Vegas, NV. 89119
" This man saved my life, after my heart attack."

Hell is truth seen too late. H.G.Adams

teenyuck

Thanks rekless...I know all that mentally, however, the idea in my head is the one that since we are raised (for those raised as dubs or muslims ) with the "women in subjection" mindset, it clouds your life.

Would I have gotten married to a wife beater the first time if I didn't have low self esteem? Maybe, however, since I still had niggling (sp?) doubts, about life and armageddon, when I got out of college, I married the first guy I could find.

I think that if I had been raised with a "you can do anything" mindset, I would never have married immediately. Once divorced, I took some time to evaluate and think about my future.

That is the point I am trying to make, I guess. That mindset changes your view of life and your place in it.

I hope that makes some sense.

Mimilly

Puffsrule - The whole 'submissiveness' thing touches a sore spot with me too. It isn't because I'm a feminist or hate men, etc., but because it was used as an excuse to abuse - physically, sexually, emotionally. (they all have the same outcome-low self esteem)
IMHO humans are not capable of carrying out this 'idea' in this day and age without abusing it, and maybe humans were never capable of it. The women who accept it, are already suffering wounds to their self esteem. The men who promote it enjoy having the authority to 'lord it over' which again IMHO, is what subjection and submissiveness is about.

I know what it's like to be up all night with one's brain stuck in the 'on' position. Make sure you see a doctor if you aren't feeling well soon, or if your poor belly gets worse. (I've presently got the flu and under the weather too)

get well soon Puffs,
Mimilly (((((((((Puffsrule))))))))))

moman

Good thoughts!
When ya think about it, its all about CONTROL.
The Borg is just one of many religios where women are to be treated as "weaker vessles".
Works great for insecure men.

Matty

The headship principle sucks for men too!

Can you imagine how it must feel to a man born and raised a JW, who is constantly aware that there are certain standards to be kept?

Most sisters will want to look at your record card before dating you - and why aren't you a Ministerial Servant at least?

In a relationship, you are supposed to be totally in charge from day one. How does this feel for someone who is really shy, and finds it difficult to take the lead? Pressure Pressure Pressure. I hated being such a loser!

teenyuck

Thanks for the thoughts Mimilly.

Matty, I never thought of that. I have had a 'bug in my bonnet' that being a man must be easier and better. That is a great comparison.

I never dated a JW (I went to college at 18 and never got into the borg stuff after that) so I can say I never did that. However, I did see all the other girls doing just what you said. They wanted to make sure their choice was going to have a bright future as a dub with power.

I have to admit that I did look at those aspects when I first married. I married a guy who was 8 years older. I thought he would be a "good provider." He thought I would make a good brood mare. I did not do that with my second husband. I was thrilled that he was such a wonderful person and I really love him. I figure no matter what life throws us, we will survive together. When I first "went on the man hunt" I did not think that way.

My mother always pushed the "good provider" message. I think that too eats away at your self esteem and ability to be independent.

Mimilly

Good one Matty.
I don't like the comparison of the genders to begin with. Men and women obviously have different strengths and capabilities. Meanwhile, both sexes bleed the same color and feel pain.

I guess the bottom line of my point is - no comparisons, work together, and see the individual. Doh! But we're talking about the borg and others who buy into subjection/submission. If they agreed to see the humanity in another person, they'd have to look in the mirror, and that's out of the question for them.

And the abuse goes both ways. It isn't just the male gender who abuse. The result to both genders is low self esteem.

gsx1138

I call it vagina fear. Also, this is what happens in a patriarchal society. I'm sure the elders would have a heart attack now (along with Muslims), my wife works and I stay home with my kid. Most males are raised that they have to act and believe a certain way so don't be too hard on us. I'm the oddball out in that I don't give a crap about the mor'es (sp)of society. I do find it funny that most religions blame women for the mans lack of control. Of course if I'm horny I'll just come out and say it and perhaps act on it. Religion has seen fit to set up rules that go against our natural biological inclinations and then blame women for us having them in the first place.
I did always notice at the KH how Eve was vilified with hardly any mention of Adam. As if some how in their metaphore for sex (adam and eve story) it was Eve's fault.

Dear Lord, please save me from your followers.

Princess

Interesting thoughts Puff. I was just talking with some non-dub friends the other day about how much I have changed since leaving dubland. I told them the whole submissive thing was a goner. They were surprised that my husband was that way and honestly he wasn't. I just felt it was my job as a submissive wife to ask his permission to do anything. He never cared and never told me no for anything. Now I don't ask. He is such a great guy and I tried to make him rule me for so long. Now it's nice just to be his partner. I'm glad you have found the same.

Rachel

Middle of the Night Thoughts

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