How did you get over.......

DS211

Your cognitive dissonance, particularly that with living out in the"world"? And any with children, how did you get over the fear of your kids interacting with other kids, bad habits, and the other fears with leaving the borg? Just curious as i too have many moments of "oh God how will my kids grow up in this world?" Or "was it really that bad keeping things strict and closed in, to keep them safe?" Then i think about dangers of being a witness...socially, mentally, etc etc and it brings me back to reality.

Is it our IDEA of what we wished or eanted the Org to be that keeps us holding onto it? Or just simply the mind manipulation and control?

punkofnice

I read 'Combatting Cult Mind Control' by Steven Hassan.

It became clear that definitions like 'world', 'worldly' and such are just cult loaded language to hit a danger warning in the mind. It's thought reform really. The trick is to identify why such phrases trigger negative emotions and you'll probably come back to the fact that it is the brainwashing of the WBT$ that implanted it.

Have a tidy out of the brain. Replace WBT$ folders with your own folders for a good life.

Gradually the cog diss goes but leaves a residue. Some good, some bad.

My kids have grown up now in the 'world(TM)' and are fine.

happy@last

Have a look at the kids yours go to school with, and who they choose to play with at school. Are they bad? I prefer mine being with children that are not being manipulated into being fearful of armageddon, fearful of having happy times at birthdays and christmas etc.

It is sad but take the child set up as a good example by JWs and strip away the indoctrination, what do you have left? A kid that cannot think for themselves in my opinion.

DS211

Punk...i agree with you...i think NOT dealing with these issues is possibly why so many do the bad "worldly" things theyve learned of...almost like a self-fulfilling prophecy....for instance the WT says everyone in the world has sex out of wedlock, does drugs, reads spiritistic things (lol)....so with those (correct me if im wrong) archetypes developed in their psyche they may equate freedom with doing those things or feel the need to rebel against the WT and do those things.

For myself, i know what its like to drink and party as i was not raised a witness. So i know that leaving the WT doesnt mean i have to do those things to be happy....but i feel the WT side of me putting a stumbling block in front of me saying "youre going to do those thigs if u go out there, and so your kids will learn the same!"....luckily i have enough good sense to tell that side of me to kindly jog on.

Steven Hassan has concinced me of so many things about cults that i was floored by it. They truly take your right to live and make free decisions.

DS211

Happy--yes and if i dont train my kid to think and make real decisions they are not going to be able to fend for themselves, but depend on others.

I lived with my grandma and grandpa for about 5 years....and they always taught me that if i do not make a decision, someone will make it for me and 99% of the time that decision will not be beneficial to me. How right they were. What helps me also is how they and my mother raised me....strict but not to the point where i could experience nothing..its honestly their efforts that have saved me and lead me to researching "truth".

But it also gives me perspective on how difficult this be for my wife....because i was in for a few years, she was raised this way.

4thgen

Yes, it’s tough. I am dealing with that as well. I have wrestled with myself on the same issues. Do we allow them to grow up with the illusion of not growing old in this system, (as we were) and being totally unprepared for the reality of life? We were taught we were in the ‘truth’ and spoke the ‘truth’, but in reality it was not truthful. I keep coming back to if I am teaching the truth or a lie. Is it better to prepare them for a life in the real world or a fantasy? Is the Magic Kingdom someplace we raise our children to live in or do we just go for vacation? Admittedly, being raised in the organization, we do not have much experience with the ways of the world. Actually, we are handicapped in a sense and feeling our way blindly along. I believe the best I can do for my child is to love unconditionally, give solid moral guidance, a good education and freedom of choice. I’m endeavoring to break the chain of blind obedience and to think independently. I am certainly not a perfect parent, by any means, but I trust with love and a little luck, all will be ok.

LostGeneration

"was it really that bad keeping things strict and closed in, to keep them safe?"

What you are doing here is not keeping them safe, its keeping them ignorant. Some JWs end up this way well into their golden years, you know the old saying "ignorance is bliss", there is a lot of truth in that for some people. People on this forum hold back from revealing the TTATT to their elderly parents because their whole world is wrapped up in the org, their friends, etc.

But for children, its different, they deserve the chance to chase after whatever they want in life, not be held prisoner by 8 dudes in NYC who want them to distrubute literature for free for the next 50 years. Sure they will stumble at times, make mistakes, fall down and get back up. But I'd much rather help them grow that way then be an JW-autobot for the rest of their life.

adamah

The desire to shelter and protect your kids from harm is worthy, but the problem is JWs over-do it by wrapping their kids in a protective coccoon.

It's better to adopt a comfort with uncertainty, rather than to try to eliminate it, since uncertainty is part of life; the challenge in becoming an adult is growing into independence, not being emotionally-stunted and cognitively knee-capped so as to never want it or achieve it.

JWs often are chasing "sure things" and certainty, which is a fool's goal in itself.

Adam

Billy the Ex-Bethelite

Several of the recent dramas have been blatant in portraying other JWs as "weak" and ultimately the "bad guys." When you actually look at the real JWs in the real KHs, it's easy to see flaws and mistakes that nobody wants their children to copy. If this is pointed out to JWs, they dismiss it saying that they're "imperfect". Ultimately, they aren't that different than what you find outside the KH.

ABibleStudent

Hi DS211, DITTO what Punk wrote about CCMC.

Have you watched the Harry Potter movie "Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban"? One way to overcome your fears is to make what you fear funny. One way to overcome cult speak's loaded words is to stop using them and/or to translate them in your mind into something funny or something more truthful, like instead of someone being "Worldly" - they are non-JWs, someone who is "Spiritually Strong" - they are non-thinking, and someone who is "Spiritually Weak" - they are still thinking.

Peace be with you and everyone, who you love,

Robert

How did you get over.......

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