"Is my life now more meaningful, and am I happier?" (page 2)

Alligator Wisdom

Hip-Hip-Hooray!

Great to hear some real "good news".

Alligator Wisdom (aka Brother NOT Exerting Vigorously)

RunAsFastAsYouCan

WT should ask the question: "Where do you want to be in 5 years; and what do you want to be doing?"

Comatose

I'm very happy for you Julia! So nice to read your experience this morning. I'll share some of my feelings on the two questions as well.

1. Does your life have more meaning? - Yes. I'm not just saying that either. I suspect for most (but not of course all) who leave the JW it has more meaning. It takes a certain type of personality to accept things as you and I have. For me, realizing I don't have a nice way to live forever and avoid ceasing to exist whether in a JW paradise or a born again heaven, that caused me to live now and appreciate life so much more! Knowing and understanding that I am now here, and now is my chance, and now is what I have - I now live fully. And it's not a bleak meaningless life. It's with great appreciation and awe that I live.

2. Are you happier? - Yes. I've been truly happy. I never felt satisfied with myself as a JW. No matter what I was doing in the congregation, I worried about my past sins and whether I was doing enough now. I never felt that I was doing enough (by design). It weighed on me heavily. It crushed me mentally. It made me anxious and sad. Since waking up, I am and have been happier. Now for the last few months I have been having serious problems with ex-friends spying on me and reporting me to the elders. I've been dealing with judicial committees and family discussing not having normal relationships with me. Is that making me happier? Of course not. It's been hell. Brutally depressing and I've needed daily anxiety meds. But, that's due to unfair rules in a cult. Prior to the meddling - I WAS HAPPIER!!! lol and guess what? When this shit is all over, I will be happier again.

While the answers for me are yes honestly to both, I do find one thing funny. This religion does all it can to destroy your life if you leave. It takes your social network and family from you. Then it wants to know if you like it better. Pathetic wastes of star dust is what the writers of that article are.

Captain Blithering

We had someone answer this paragraph "I'm sure 90% would answer NO, (not happier etc ) . .

He has no idea. We perpetuate this myth then tell each other its not only true but youre damned if you talk to ones who have left to find out. Dya think its a cult much?

adamah

What a loaded question that is, since the WT article presumes that "more, MORE, MORE!" mindset of the Worldly, where 'more is better'....

Meaning is found in ultimately in whatever one finds it, so the concept of having "MORE meaning" in one's life is paradoxically quite meaningless; it presumes a "one size fits all" answer exists (i.e. the meaning found in serving God).

And is it a valid goal to actually seek out "more happiness"?

OF course, the WT's answer is the same: greater happiness is found in serving God, and the more time spent on knocking on doors, the happier you are supposed to be. Rather contradictory, since aren't Xians supposed to be knocking on doors out of selfless LOVE for their fellow man? That contradicts it, since it confirms that JWs are actually doing it for some selfish benefit.

I'd say it paradoxically becomes increasingly unattainable if you set "more happiness" as your goal, when a more achievable and concrete goal is to seek to learn the sustainable skills that allows one TO cope with whatever comes your way; the goal not being to attain "more happiness" per se, but to seek greater contentment.

At least for me, chasing after the illusive "Happy, happy, joy, joy!" is not as desirable as possessing contentment with what I currently DO have. That requires an internal adjustment in thinking (which is actually harder for some, changing their attitudes), and not just chasing after it via what I do.

Adam

freeflyingfaerie

That's wonderful to hear, I'm happy for you and your family~

That would be a WT session of trying yet again to convince oneself that they are in the right place. Who are they fooling.

Those that leave know better....as you are saying in your post. The most difficult part of leaving is recovering and starting over. But they are delusional to think staying a JW is to live a more meaningful and happy life.

~Faerie

DesirousOfChange

Is my life more meaningful?

I used to think that everything I was doing as a JW was meaningful and had a purpose, however now that I have discovered TTATT I realize that all of that was a delusion -- it had no "meaning". I was not pleasing God. I was not earning my way to Paradise. I was not being made a better person as a result of any persecution or trials that I had to endure nor the sacrifices that I made for the Truth(TM). There simply was no meaning in all of those things that I thought were important.

The fact that I had the opportunity on occasion to help someone less fortunate than myself was meaningful. Usually it was a single mom at the KHall or elderly ones who were poorly prepared for retirement, etc. And, I still have that. I just don't restrict myself to a limited group of people.

Have I found some great meaningful experience in my life? No. I think I realize that on the grand scale of things, most of us and what we do are meaningless. Except . . . to the people closest to us whose lives we touch and thus give meaning. Our spouse, children, grandchildren (esp), and close friends and companions.

Am I happier?

No, I don't think so. I'm still in the angry and bitter stage. When I stop and think about it (like now), I'm really really pissed off about all the lies and mistruths I was "fed" from the WT Directors/F&DS and the negative consequences that my family and I experienced as a result of us making decisions based on those lies for decades -- for generations (or for one big overlapping generation, if you prefer).

Should they be "forgiven" on the basis that they are sincere and that they believe they are doing God's Will, yet they are imperfect and make mistakes. No, because they have not asked for forgiveness. They have not admitted to making mistakes. They are haughty and proud and twist the facts to put the blame on those who believed in them and followed them. Additionally, at some point the claim that they "didn't know" ends and the fact that someone who makes such a claim as being God's Spokesman should know. Just like a doctor is guilty if cause a patient's death by doing something that they should have known was dangerous or wrong for the condition. That doctor claims to be an "expert" -- claims to "know" how to treat an illness. In the same way the WT Leaders claim to speak for God. Yet, we all know they distort the facts and even publish outright lies. They must know, and if they do not know those facts, then they should know. It's their responsibility to know.

As you can see, I have yet to "move on" which I see as a necessary step to being happier. Hopefully, my recovery will advance to that phase eventually.

Doc

James Jackson

" I am happier, and have medical evidence to prove it. I am on half the antidepressant medication I was as a JW, my anxiety disorder has disappeared, I no longer wake up screaming from nightmares every night (or taking valium to suppress them) and my physical welbeing is increasing."

Wow Julia! I have read all of your postings and I am impressed with your progress this past year! You inspire hope and confidence that there is another life out there.

By the way, How is your husband dealing with your transformation?

What Now?

Great post.

My sister forwarded me this Watchtower article yesterday, I'm assuming in an effort to "reach out" to inactive ones as the article suggested.

ShirleyW

I'm just imagining that question being asked at the WT study today and all the hands going up with the same fake answer" Yes, brother, my family and I are much more happy knowing that we have the truth, yada yada yada. . . .. then they go back home to their depressing lives and take their meds.

"Is my life now more meaningful, and am I happier?"

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