by ILoveTTATT 12 Replies latest jw friends
Supposing I can pull off moving to the other city without the elders successfully finding me and forcing me to go to a JC or something...
Should I EVER tell my mom ttatt? Or should I let sleeping dogs lie? It is extremely unlikely that dad will tell her ttatt... he prefers, 99% of the time, to not say anything rather than fight. He was pushed by my mom to purchase a 25K time share... rather than fight and tell her NO...
Any thoughts?
A timeshare, depending on what you do with it, can be a good deal. It all depends on how they use it.
Oh, and for TTATT, I'd tell her because she is my mom. How can you be close with your mom if she doesn't know something that holds a very large part of what makes you, YOU?
I think what you have been doing, asking probing questions and allowing her to ponder on her own, is the best course. She may come to you in her own time. Give your dad credit. Sometimes you can "win without a word".
Hi ILoveTTATT, Make a plan with your Dad to help your Mom to critically think for herself. Help you Dad to learn how to confront without being harsh or abusive first. Has he read any of Steve Hassan's books? If he can critically think for himself, he may be able to help your Mom to critically think for herself? You and your Dad's plan, can be as simple as:
The bottom line is that once you leave your parents home you will have less chances to help you Mom to critically think for herself and it becomes your Dad's problem.
Peace be with you and everyone, who you love,
Robert
I don't think any of us are really as well placed as you are to make that decision - I know that is a cop-out but it's the truth. However much you describe people it will be a poor picture next to the real thing and you will know better what motivates them and, most importantly, what their reaction would be to the information and how they will be impacted by it.
Having said that, it's hard to believe that ever knowing the truth is a *bad thing* compared to the alternatives - in the long run people are being conned out of money, savings and possibly their life and what they could be doing with it.
My suggestion is let well enough alone. If family members are happy where they are at, then fine. Move on with yours. If, like many here, you begin to experience life in a way that attracts them to your new situation, then you might want to share. The key here is that you live your life. Like the Dalai Lama said, "Be here, now." Live in the NOW, not for some expectation for tomorrow. Enjoy the life your living. Live with integrity. Live with purpose. Live....others will notice the change.
SOP
Please don't take this the wrong way, ILoveTTATT -- I like you -- but your question could be taken as arrogant. Your parents have been around a lot longer than you. Do you really think your mother doesn't know enough, or have the ability to learn enough on her own, to see that it's not the truth? Your parents have long since made their own choices as to how to live.
Virtually nobody leaves the religion because they accidentally found out it wasn't the truth. It happens because a person becomes open to learning TTATT. They then find the reasons they need in order to leave. Without the pre-existing desire to leave the (suffocating) cocoon of the religion, there is no openness to learning TTATT. So who are you to try to force someone out of the religion? That's what it is, forcing -- because that pre-existing motivation to leave is lacking in her.
Secondly, you assume that you have something to offer her that she can't find elsewhere. What is your dad, chopped liver? He knows TTATT and lives in the same house as her. Surely she would go to your father before she would go to you about any doubts she has? Wouldn't any mother do this?
So you should simply focus on your own life, but leave yourself available for questions from your parents. Avoid answering direct "Do you think this is the truth?" questions and simply allow her to be open with you if she wants to broach the subject of whether there are flaws in her religion.
"Do you really think your mother doesn't know enough, or have the ability to learn enough on her own, to see that it's not the truth?"
yes... I do. It's called MIND CONTROL for a reason!! I may have had my doubts about the JW's, but unless I had read the many articles that other people have written, I wouldn't have woken up, like ever.
"Without the pre-existing desire to leave the (suffocating) cocoon of the religion, there is no openness to learning TTATT."
If she doesn't have a reason now, she may soon!! "Losing" both her son and her husband, or learn if this "religion" (cult) has any truth to it?
"Surely she would go to your father before she would go to you about any doubts she has?"
Nope. Comes to me. Don't ask. Can't explain it.
Dad is just now... Maybe since a month ago tops, truly realizing that it is not the truth. I am explosive, got my mom's personality. My dad has just an incredible amount of self-control, but sometimes it turns into apathy.
Just today, dad agreed to actually read Hassan together and make a plan to tell mom ttatt.
Call it pre-emptive striking or whatever. Either the cult destroys our family, or I destroy the cult personalities. I am NOT going down without a fight, a well-planned one. I want to have my mom at my wedding, know her grandchildren (if any), and I want them to enjoy their many years of hard work... I want to be there if my dad needs anything medically or financially. I want to always have them as my friends.
Hi ILoveTTATT, I love your passion, convictions, and determination.
Except for your parents raising you as a JW, it sounds like you had a very idylic childhood being raised by your parents. From stories of other JWN members they were not as lucky as you.
Peace be with you and everyone, who you love,
Robert
