Death Rituals . . . which do you prefer?

by skeeter1 11 Replies latest social current

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  skeeter1

  I was listening to Dr. Radio. A lady mortician was on. It was morbid, but wanted to share what she said. She also shared some of the laws that regulate the mortician practice. I was not able to listen to the whole program.

  The open casket/embalmning a body funeral is a US/Canada thing. It isn't worldwide! (Guess I'm a dumb American cuz I didn't know that). It started in the Civil War. The train conductors wouldn't transport a dead soldier back up north. So, embalming became the norm. To embalm, a complete bloodletting is done. If the body had an autopsy, then it takes alot longer becuase things were severed. Then, a solution is put in. This solution keeps the natural bacteria from eating its way out of the body, by fixing the cell's protiens. This embalming takes 4 to 8+ hours, depending on the size, condition of the body.

  The cremation. Super hot oven. Takes an hour or two for the body to burn. Depends on the size. What is left is inorganic bone matter. By law, these bones have to be ground to a fluffy white powder. The mortician is not allowed to give you the real "bones" by law.

  Hindu funerals are not allowed in the US. These funerals are an open air burning of the body, with the bone fragments sent down a river. This has meaning of how the soul is transported to the next life/heavens. It struck me as odd that our laws forbid this practice! Hindu's are disenfranchised. I guess it would be strange to see a body burning up on a hill, but I'd think that there would be a discreet place where this could be done throughout the US!

  Natural burial, without embalming. Cloth around the body and put in a deep grave. How it's done in many other parts of the world for centuries. Allows the body to return to earth the most naturally. Your bacteria live on. Alot cheaper, but can't be done in many places! She was saying that in many places, you have to own 5+ acres and then have to check your state/local ordinances.

  I was for cremation. Definately, not for embalming. I'll have to explore this more.

  Skeeter
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  FlyingHighNow

  Natural burial, without embalming. Cloth around the body and put in a deep grave. How it's done in many other parts of the world for centuries. Allows the body to return to earth the most naturally. Your bacteria live on. Alot cheaper, but can't be done in many places! She was saying that in many places, you have to own 5+ acres and then have to check your state/local ordinances.

  Problems with cloth wrapped bodies came in during the yellow fever epidemic, where victims had to be buried above ground to keep the water tables from becoming infected. Along the gulf coast of the USA, you can hit water when you dig 2 or 3 feet down. I remember seeing my brothers hit water when they were digging in the woods behind our house in coastal Louisiana. Previously to that, we lived in Mobile, AL. There is a cemetery downtown where many yellow fever victims are buried above ground. New Orleans has cemeteries with above ground graves that you've likely seen on TV and in movies.

  We do cremation in our family. There was a documentary on PBS about caring for your own dead, which is legal in some states. It discussed how caring for the dead was taken out of the hands of the family and friends and placed in the hands of the undertaker. There is a certain healing that takes place when families are allowed, often with the help of friends, to bathe, dress and lay out their loved ones. Some people in the documentary did care for their dead, without embalming them and without immediate burial or cremation. It seemed much more comforting to the families and friends. Terminal patients who were choosing to die at home and then be prepared for burial or cremation by family and/or friends, seemed to be helped by the idea of not being given into the hands of strangers. Under some circumstances, bodies can last up to three days, without embalming, before the need for burial or cremation.

  You can check with the local Memorial Society to see what practices are legal in your state, for the burial or cremation of the dead.
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  HappyDad

  When I go, it's cremation. I told my daughter and I preach this to others.......why give all that insurance money to the Funeral Home when creamation is a fraction of the cost. Keep that insurance money for your family. Also, there are a lot of people without insurance but their kids want to show face so to speak and they go all out for a fancy casket and funeral. Then they have to struggle to pay for it themselves. Kind of rediculous if you ask me!

  HappyDad
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  HappyDad

  I forgot to add. Here in Western Pa. is the "Funeral Consumer Alliance of Western Pennsylvania" which I joined after my wife died in 1966. They have quite a few Funeral Directors in the area who will provide a low cost funeral of your choice. The one I picked will cremate me when my time comes for just under $1000. You can check them out on the web.

  HappyDad
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  FlyingHighNow

  There was no money to cremate or bury my nephew David. He died in New Mexico and his fiance couldn't afford to pay for anything and his parents, good JWs had disowned him because he didn't want to be baptized as a JW. The county paid for his cremation and gave David's ashes to my other nephew, TimeBandit here on JWN. Now I have some of them.
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  Xanthippe

  When my husband died he stipulated in his will that he wanted a non-religious funeral and a burial. This was quite difficult because non-religious people in the UK usually have a cremation and a few words are said at the crematorium. I ended up hiring a local hotel function room which was very elegant I must say. I found a funeral celebrant online who asked all his extended family for thougths and memories of his life and wove a talk around them. Which was lovely because the whole talk was about him and no preaching at anyone.

  We had classical music, no hymns and Time To Say Goodbye sung by Andrea Bocelli at the end. This was my husband's favourite piece of music which he first heard when he visited Las Vegas and they played it in time to the fountains rising and falling at one of the hotels. Yeah really! I nearly had the celebrant make a funny joke about that but changed my mind. There were no prayers but the celebrant offered a few moments of quiet reflection towards the end for people to remember my husband and think their own thoughts.

  It's true we don't normally have embalming in the UK but I was offered it at the first funeral home I visited. 'Would you like the body embalmed Madam?' I'm afraid I just burst out laughing it sounded so ridiculous to me and emotions are running high at this time. You're as likely to burst out laughing as end up in floods of tears. When I got home I phoned my closest friend and told her about it. She picked up my mood immediately and said why don't you have him freeze-dried and put on a bench in the garden. We roared, honestly, you had to be there.

  I don't mind what is done with my remains I'll leave that up to my daughter. Personally I'd like my body dropped on the mountains and left for the animals to eat like they do in Tibet but that isn't very green when you live far away from mountains ranges and probably illegal too!
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  rebel8

  Xanthippe, that sounds perfect to me!

  I've always favored cremation because of the cost and environmental impact. Ever since I was very young, embalming and burial seemed macabre and an exercise in denial. jmho
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  nonjwspouse

  Happy Dad, a casket must be purchased for a cremation if there is a funeral/visitation. Whatever touches the body must be purchased.

  This angered me somuch when my grandmother didhn't hold a funeral for my grandfather but wanted to see him before cremation. They refused even a pillow behind his head which was highly disturbing to her.
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  Giordano

  A morphine drip untill my eyes close for the last time.

  Cremation then bring my ashes to a good moonshiner and have him filter his whiskey through my ashes for just a taste of Gio....'aged for seven decades for a special robust and smokey taste.'

  Bottle it up and have every one sprinkle some of the whiskey on the ground at my memorial. Those that choose to pass it through their kidneys first may do so as well.
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  clarity

  Omg ...which do I prefer???????

  NONE!

  clarity