Here’s a PM I’d like to share concerning my story about Pioneering where the need was great parts 1, 2, and 3.
“Hi Giordano,
I’ve enjoyed reading your story about going to a Hall that had a need back in the 1960’s. One thing I’ve wondered though, what it is like going to a tiny little congregation like that. What was the social life like? What did you do in your time after service and otherwise to just relax and maybe ‘hang out’ with people? Thanks for satisfying my curiosity.”
Part of what I was trying to do with my story was to show the ‘other alternative’ to Bethel service which was pioneering and especially where the need was great. I hadn’t planned on touching on the social life or recreation. But this PM got me thinking back to that time.
Let me start with what we didn’t have available. The Internet or T.V. No daily newspaper......... I didn’t have a clue that the Cuban Missile crisis was going on until I saw the cover of Look magazine a few weeks later. Apparently I was more isolated then I realized.
Eventually I got a hand me down T.V. and with a little work adjusting the tin foil wrapped rabbit ears I could get one channel from Buffalo N.Y. and one from Erie. Though there was as much snow on the screen as there was outdoors during those long Pennsylvania winters. That was my social life for a while.
We had no movie theater in town...... the closest was about 40 miles away. The library was in the high school and wasn’t well stocked which didn’t matter since I had nothing to look up anyway. We did have a YMCA,which had a heated pool, basketball court etc. and I and my newly arrived pioneer partner actually got a membership.....never knew that was off limit to JW’s. I was really pissed off when my presiding minister looked at us as if we were the two dumbest pioneers he’d ever seen.
Here’s what’s funny about that YMCA issue......it became an eye opener for me because I finally understood that the Society was determined to isolate their followers past a point that was reasonable or productive. They could make something decent into something bad. Unfortunately I couldn’t get away with sneaking into the Y in our small town or I would have.
The congregation at that time was very small. But we had other congregations usually at least 50 to 75 miles away, and it was worth it to drive over for a touch football game or a party.
I socialized with my presiding minister...... we usually had breakfast at a local Café. He was a great guy, ex missionary, but by then I’d figured a few things out and never told him I’d gotten my time started and was counting our breakfast as service. You know in my experience a cup of coffee and a blueberry muffin never tasted better then when you were on the clock.
I also played cards with the bystander brother and his wife once a week. He started sharing a treasure drove of information about the best trout streams in the area and I would follow up by hiking over to them and looking over the streams so I’d be ready when spring came and trout season started. That would become my first choice for recreation. Still is to this day (catch and release).
I also met my future wife (which I haven’t written about yet she was catch and keep...... thank god) she lived about 60 miles away but was still in H.S. school. Neither of us had a phone so we corresponded by mail. She kept my letters and I still am embarassed at my heart felt but lame attempt to express my growing love.
I was joined by a pioneer brother my age who wanted to serve where the need was great and then transfer to Bethel which he did. My wife pioneered with me so I was lucky in that after the first few months I wasn't alone.
I was also giving my public talk at least twice a month (during my first year) which had me traveling all over the circuit and into other circuits so we were meeting people left and right.
Eventually my wife and I had a far flung social network of bright, attractive people in our age group and we remained good friends for years as one by one most of us left the ‘truth’. One year we were loyal witnesses the next we were on the beach in Fort Lauderdale Florida or camping in the Keys. All of us trying to reclaim our lost pioneering years and figure out who we really were. There was no great falling away in the mid 1960’s that I was aware of. But for a while it seemed that most of our friends were pulling out. I guess we were birds of a feather who were ready to make some major life style changes. And boy were the times a changing!
Eventually most of us fell away. Some woke up suddenly and decided to leave immediately.......like overnight. Other’s took a little longer to get out. For me it was like learning to drive a stick shift..........in traffic......up a hill. Just lurching forward and back grinding the gears until one day....finally.......I understood that it was over for me (my wife as well).
I don’t know if this was the moment...it was a process but this stands out.
I am in town in my suit and tie about to go into the field service when I hear the roar of many motorcycle's coming down Main Street (Pa Route 6 was a major route in those days). And a couple of them had radio’s which were blasting out the Stones “I can’t get no satisfaction’. 50 years later I couldn’t remember a single meeting I attended or conducted but I can still remember that brief brush with freedom and individualism which oddly enough smelled like gasoline and exhaust. They road like they had some placed they needed to get to, long hair flying behind, tattoos and hot chicks. They passed by without a glance in my direction. I stood there in my suit and tie, book bag in hand, ready to knock on doors with my mealy indifferent message that even I could no longer stand. I watched them go thinking fuck this....I don’t have to take this crap anymore.
We decided to leave without telling anyone we were also leaving the JW world.
Education and job opportunities was the explanation.
As we drove out of town that last day we realized that in three and a half years other then the 'friends' and a couple of bible studies we didn't know a single worldly person to say goodby to.