Marriage Consummation - emailed question has me stumped

by jwfacts 62 Replies latest watchtower beliefs

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  jwfacts

  I received an email from a JW that got married, but the wife never had sex with him. They were together for a period of years. He told the elders, but they said there was nothing that could be done. He finally decided to leave her, and married another woman. They elders disfellowshipped him and he is now being shunned.

  Was it right to disfellowship him, under Watchtower doctrine? I would have thought it was not adultery, as the marriage had not been consumated. Although, Luke 16:18 (NIV) says "Anyone who divorces his wife and marries another woman commits adultery, and the man who marries a divorced woman commits adultery ", wouldn't the fact that the marriage was not consumated me it does not count as a marriage.
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  punkofnice

  I don't know the answer to this tbh but I knew of a couple where the same thing happens. The marriage was anulled and they went their separate ways. No DFing or anything.

  I would wager this is a case where each congregation is a law unto itself. Where the elders enjoy their power trip in the name of god.

  I don't have any JW stuff to research anymore......not that I want it....50 years being born in was too much.
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  Witness My Fury

  They disfellowship people who HAVEN'T had sex but have stayed under the same roof over night when they see fit, (yeah like no one has sex during the day ... ) because of appearances.

  So using that level of awesome logic then it would follow that consumation of the marriage mean diddly squat as regards anything in WTBTS land. After all appearances are everything, so people know they were married, people assume they had sex of some sort at some time, ... tricky proving a negative and they dont take anyones word for it unless it suits them.
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  Frazzled UBM

  I would have thought that he would be entitled to an annulment on the basis the marriage was never consumated (so that it is as if he was never married at all) but are you surprised that the elders have taken a rigid rule based approach to this such that a loyal Witness is treated unfairly and bullied through shunning? What do the Witnesses get for all the obedience and loyalty they show to the WBTS? Not much...
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  designs

  Elders were never trained to handle marriage and family issues. DFing was the way to wash blood off the table. Some religions, like the SDA, have actual Pre-Marital counseling for couples and tragedies like this would never happen or be minimized.
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  KateWild

  WMF, good point I know someone who got Df'd for having someone stay over of the opposit sex and no sex took place. Like punky said this set of elders are enjoying their power trip.

  jwfacts, I don't recall learning anything about unconsumated marriages in WT publications. I think the WT is silent on the issue.

  Kate xx
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  valkyrie

  They were together for a period of years. He told the elders, but they said there was nothing that could be done.

  How many years? If he stayed with his wife [long] after it was clear that she had no intention to consummate the marriage, he implied acceptance of/consent to the situation. Even in U.S. state law (many, anyway), the applying spouse is required to separate from the respondent spouse as soon as the fraudulent intent (not to have sexual relations) is known/apparent. Else, he is complicit, and can no longer claim to be an innocent victim of fraud.

  An affidavit by his wife, acknowledging the withholding of sex, could support his case.
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  Frazzled UBM

  Designs - What do you mean by: 'Some religions, like the SDA, have actual Pre-Marital counseling for couples and tragedies like this would never happen or be minimized.'? The only tragedy here is that normal intimacy between consenting adults who love each other has brought on pangs of guilt because of an evil organisation that feels the need to control every aspect of its members' lives.
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  Frazzled UBM

  Sorry designs - I got confused between threads - I thought this was other thread about the wife wanting to confess
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  Wozwozza

  How about this then.....brother in law is married with one young child .sleeps repeatedly with wifes sister who is only 13 and gets pregnant . His wife is devastated and it is reported to the elders and eventually is Df'd .and in time and in confusion of her loyalty to keep quiet for the sake of Jehovahs name she has sex again shortly after finding out what her husband did. She later talks to elders saying she has trouble staying with her husband but they tell her it's too late she has had sex with him so he is forgiven.

  So the society uses sex as a marking of whether a relationship must stay together .why can't it be used as an indicator to a failed relationship when there is none and therefore annul it ?