"We're on different paths now."

by Pyramid God 13 Replies latest watchtower beliefs

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  Pyramid God

  It's been a while since I've read or posted on JWN. I guess I have been trying to put this chapter of my life behind me.

  As is usually the case, just when I'm having a good week, I get contact from a witness. What a way to ruin a week.

  This was my last remaining friend in the Org telling me that we would no longer be friends, in a long and vague way. Aside from all the normal rhetoric this discussion prompts, I noticed one thing this time. In every single case where one of my close friends has severed contact with me, they always justify it with the phrase "we're on different paths now, and I don't see how we can remain close when we have different goals in life."

  Now I know what this excuse actually means, I'm no longer a JW and am pursuing my education, so they are severing contact with me to advance in the borg. But out of the four times or so I've had this conversation, they have always used this justification almost verbattim.

  It got me thinking, where did this idea come from? Since they all reproduced it independently, it has to be something that we had been taught to say, but I honestly cannot remember learning this line of reasoning in dealing with an exJW. Did anyone else hear this justification for why a friend was severing contact with you? I'm all ears...
• 

  TTATTelder

  I don't remember that exact line, but I do recall similiar reasoning.

  For instance when I was younger, I used to hear things like "does that worldly person care about your relationship with Jehovah?" or "does that associate care about whether you gain everlasting life?"

  Actually now that I think about it, I think you hear those "different path/goal" lines a lot in their cousel against marrying "unbelievers".

  It's all "us vs. them" stuff and used to convince those that are in to stay away from outside influences.
• 

  humbled

  Just tell them"Narrow is the road that leads to life..."

  Just because you don't have a 7 million plus organization lead by 8 on the path with you doesn't mean you are on the wrong one.

  Edit: Tragically your friend is staying on a path that is a false"road leading to life" and doesn't see that you are choosing a road that is singular but not paved with lies to unite only a select deluded few.

  It is painful to have dear friends walk away like that. Sorry
• 

  Pyramid God

  It's very troubling to hear that kind of speech come from someone you thought of as a best friend.
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  truthseekeriam

  I remember instruction given about being unevenly yoked with friendships in the world. Of course it was about not having the same goals and how their bad association will ruin your spiritual growth. Same old stuff about only making friendships with fellow believers!! Of course they don't mention how conditional those friendships are.
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  4thgen

  Do your friends know eachother? Maybe they all talked together and came to the conclusion. Was there a local needs talk that they all attended?

  Circuit assembly where they used that phrase?

  It's very hard to loose those who you were close to, but we all make different choices in life.

  Your choice is to learn truth and grow as a person. Theirs is stagnation.

  All the best, 4thgen
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  kjg132

  very similar wording that my friends used with me.....specfically eeerie was one who said "our thoughts are not the same".... I addressed that head on...why would we need to think all the same things? thats crazy
• 

  troubled mind

  There was some wise counsel passed along by some CO that encouraged this thinking years ago . I know because it was used against me over 30 yrs ago .

  My brother in law ,and his wife were on the fast track to become 'somebodies' in the organization . We were young with little children back then ,and my BIL thought it was an awesome idea that I should auxillary pioneer with his wife . I told him I was NOT interested in taking my babies out in subzero temps (we live in the midwest) to go door to door 60 hrs a month ! Mind you my husband ,and I were regular in service ,meeting attendence,and conventions ,we also had the book study in our home . Yet ,because I did not want to reach out ,I was no longer approved association for his wife and him . We were on 'different' paths ,and we didn't have as much in common anymore ! Different paths really? So both serving the same God ,being related ,having children the same age was not enough common ground ?

  I have always liked having friends from different walks of life ,it makes life so much more interesting . I would be bored with people that only liked or did the same things I did .Maybe that is why I was not such a good cult member :)

  Another thing I noticed about people like my brother in law and his wife is that they liked to surround themselves with 'mini'me want to be's . My sister in law had 'followers' that copied her in whatever she did such as dress style ,got involved with anything she liked . I found that totally weird even back then .
• 

  OnTheWayOut

  From my best friend was "I have to protect the spirituality of my family. " It was just him and his wife so that was rather a weak excuse.
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  Quarterback

  I've heard those words expressed between family members who have gone different paths. But, then 5 years later they are forgotten, and the new circumstances have all been worked out. It all depends on the reason for separation. Schooling only lasts for a few years. Soon after your freind dispises you for having the guts to make an important decision in your life that will benefit you in the long run.