Hey my friend. We can intellectualize it, we can decide to love them anyway, but no matter how we view the big picture, when stuff like this hits from people we love, it hurts.
I'm sorry for the pain this is no doubt causing you and Mrs. Ozzie.
An Un-Invitation Card
by ozziepost 31 Replies latest watchtower scandals
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Princess
What would Miss Manners say? Horrifying to say the least. They can't keep you from the wedding in a KH as it's a public place. I had two df'd people at my wedding and it was no big deal.
Show them what you think of their Un-invitation. Go.
Rachel
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bchapp
Dear Mr. & Mrs. Ozzy,
This is really sad. I agree with those who say you should pretend you didn't get their card and go anyway. Maybe they're just trying to cover their backs.
Peace & Love be with you.
If the truth hurts most of us so badly that we don't want it told, it hurts even more grievously those who dare to tell it. (Judge Ben Lindsey, 1869-1943)
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LDH
To one of the nicest couples anywhere:
((((((((((HUGS)))))))))))
Lisa
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LB
Lots of advice to go anyway. I certainly wouldn't go myself but I'm not in your shoes.
We had my son and his wife over last night. Told them we are now considering DAing ourselves. I think it's that "leaving on your own terms" sort of thing. Of course we asked them if that would affect our relationship. Our son says "of course not". But the daugher in law (Hand that Rocks the Cradle) says it could cause a problem or two.
Sooooo
"Do Witnesses break up families?" has been a common topic over the years.
the answer is of course it does. It may or may not mine, but, it's certainly doing that to thousands of others.
Never Squat With Yer Spurs On -
Valis
Would the Ozzies really want to be somehwere and feel uncomfortable? Sorry to hear of your situation. Perhaps you could send her a card or something expressing deep regret for her descision, but also the best for her new family's future. It may be the classy thing for you guys to do and make her feel like a heel, which would be apropriate. On the other hand you could show up to the wedding and ask why your family would treat you like strangers...might be fun! Best of luck however it goes.
Sincerely,
District Overbeer
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arachnia
I agree with District Overseer when he suggests sending a card expressing dignified sadness and regret that they feel the way that they do. Be sure to keep it sad, not mad, because anger will only give them more ammo to "prove" that you are in the wrong. (After all, if let them see you are angry, it only proves to them you are defensive because of feeling guilty about something.)
Remember, this is *their* issue, not yours. Do not take ownership of it by accepting responsibility for their decision on the basis that you have done something "wrong." Be the better person. Send the gift and the card and while it might not affect them immediately, it will have to sit in the back of their mind and gnaw at them at the very least. And even if it doesn't, you've acted with more grace and dignity than have they, and can be the one to look yourself in the mirror without regretting your actions.
Good luck and hang in there. :) It's never easy.
Cheers,
~arachniaSay not, "I have found the truth," but rather, "I have found a truth."
-Kahlil Gibran -
Pathofthorns
The district overbeer (lol) makes a good suggestion (lol@"suggestions"). It would be good to respect their wishes but the kind card that expresses your sadness would be appropriate to.
I wonder alot what my family would say if they came across the objection "JWs break up families". I think something would click in their minds, but only for a second before it was dismissed and justified by feeling that it is the family member that leaves is the one that has chosen to break up the family.
Of course we all know that generally the exJW course is one of tolerance, even if someone chooses to remain a JW and it is JWs by the nature of their own religious policies that are REQUIRED or at the least ENCOURAGED to shun. It is not exJWs that are under orders to shun, but the other way around.
Path
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Matty
(((((Ozziepost and Mrs. Ozzie))))))
Path - spot on!
Mind you, have you EVER been to a Jehovah’s Witness wedding reception that wasn’t mind-blowingly crap? I can't remember one, and I’ve been to dozens – we aren’t allowed to enjoy ourselves properly and have a good time at all - so no matter how miserable you are for not going, you won't be any more miserable than the poor unfortunate ones that ARE going!!
Reminded me of this old thread:
http://www.jehovahs-witness.com/forum/thread.asp?id=23578&site=3This happens too often - it makes me so angry!!
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Had Enough
(((((Ozzie and Mrs.Ozzie)))))
I just saw this thread now and I am so disgusted I can hardly speak. What a totally heartless and mindless thing to do to a family member or to anyone for that matter.
There is no way you dear folks deserve this label and treatment!!!
I am so deeply saddened by this for what it is doing to such loving people. Whatever your decision is, I know you will handle the situation with class and dignity. You and Mrs. Ozzie have more compassion and love for your fellowman in your little finger than the whole heartless WTS has in its HUGE, STERILE, COLD and ANTISEPTIC ORGANIZATION.
I agree with you Ozzie about anyone contemplating becoming a JW to look at this thread.
To you who may be studying or thinking that the JW religion appears to be so good...... to anyone reading these messages on this site that is contemplating becoming a JW....READ, READ, READ, all the experiences of those suffering at the hands of these so-called Christians. They claim to be "keeping the congregation clean". Trust us as ones who have been there and know the WHOLE story. It is just a huge cop-out excuse to exercise their authority over the flock and to keep them from learning the real TRUTH. Yes there seems to be kind, loving people in the congregations....but they really are few and far between once you get to REALLY know them. They have forgotten or never learned how to really think on their own. This is only one example of the many heartless rules and regulations they have.
And you active JWs reading this....You think they deserve this? or maybe this doesn't happen in your loving congregation. Know this... this is not an isolated incident. This is happening every day the world over. Many on this board, including me, have had this same treatment handed out to ones who only questioned some of the hurtful actions and hypocricy and misapplication of scriptures. READ, READ, READ, and then do your own research and for GOD's SAKE....THINK!!!!
And as for you high and mighty ones sitting in your cushy surroundings making all these rules.....how utterly disgusting you are...how arrogant!!!! This is so typical of your "we are better than everyone else" attitude. You KNOW you are misapplying those scriptures you CLAIM to be upholding. You KNOW God never intended families to be broken apart like this. Don't try to use old Hebrew examples like Korah for this situation......It does not apply!!! and you know it.
YOU have so much to answer to God for....and YES I AM ANGRY. I have that to answer for too.... but you have NO RIGHT to cause this kind of hurt and stress on people. AND know this too...your days of this kind of control are numbered. More and more people are becoming aware of your shady tactics BEFORE they become under your control. We shall see continue to work at that!!!
Ozzie and Mrs. Ozzie, you both have helped me so much through my sorrow and pain in finding out how I had been lied to for ALL of my life. I hope knowing that we all love you and are deeply hurt with you, will somehow ease the pain for you.
((((HUGS))))
Had Enough
"Never doubt that a small group of citizens can change the world.
Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has."...Margaret Mead