My parents are recent converts to JW (both baptized). I was never a JW, but did study with them for a long time. After doing research, my husband and I quit going to meetings and stopped the BS.
My dad is completely indoctrinated at this point, but my mom sees how ridiculous he is being. I have always been very close with my mom, but not so much with my dad. He does not answer my calls or emails. He is avoiding me, and acts like a wooden statue when we do see each other. I know he is confused. I've just been giving him his space.
I have made contact with my mom. I called her about 2 weeks after my sister decided to "stop communicating" with me. My mom didn't seem to know about sis's decision, and it clearly made her upset. She expressed frustration and anger at the way my sister was acting. She had also had another conversation with her, where sis told her they would not be interested in coming to our family party, even if it was at JW mom's house. "You can check w/J, but I don't think we would come." My mom and I discussed this for a few minutes before she said, "I told Dad, 'You know... when you see things like this, it really makes you look at the Jehovah's Witnesses, and want nothing to do with it!'" I did not respond to her making that statement (my sentiments exactly).
I am actually thinking that my sister's unreasonable behavior is going to stir the pot, upsetting Mom and really aggravating the peacemaker in her. This concern was one that Mom had raised years ago, while she was still studying. "Jehovah's Witnesses divide families." Well, now it has happened.
Mom has also previously made the comment, "Well, maybe I shouldn't have gone ahead and been baptized..."
Upon the advice of a friend, I emailed Mom and asked if I could be put on her calendar. The idea is that we will arrange and meet (weather-permitting) every 2nd Friday of the month. Last I heard, she is planning to come and visit this Friday. It will be nice if she does come, since the kids are really looking forward to it.
In her email, Mom said, "I miss talking to you, too!" I do not plan to bring up anything JW, but have a feeling that she probably will.
She is coming on Friday, but did make sure to mention that she has to go home Friday night. (She used to come for 2 night stays a few times a year). She said, "I need to go out in service. I've really been slacking!" I'm not sure the intention of that statement, which she has made a few times in the past. On the one hand, I'm sad to be reminded that the WTS is a higher priority than her grandkids she has not seen in months. On the other hand, I'm happy to hear that she's been "slacking!" Good girl, Mom!
She went on to mention that she was visiting her (non-JW) sister last Saturday, so there goes another field service day out the window. Yay! Maybe I'm supposed to "understand" and therefore accept that the preaching work is more important than your own family. Her sister has no understanding of that, and they do get together one Saturday every month. One less Saturday of riding around, getting indoctrinated and judged... go see Aunt C instead!
I have no agenda for her visit this week, except to have a good time and visit with my real mom. This whole JW experience has really put a spotlight on some personality issues that she has, but I've got plenty of real life things we can talk about. If she wants to bring up her concerns about anything from the JW's, I'm willing to listen. :)
I take that back... There is one question I would like to ask her. She recently had a serious illness that prevented her from walking or leaving the house. She was hospitalized for 4 nights. I did not hear glowing reports of how many JW's were visiting or helping her out during her illness, so I am curious to know how much support and love she experienced in her time of need. I plan to ask, just casually...
When we were Bible students, we had a few times of "need," and we found the JWs here to be oh so helpful and generous! They came and cleaned my house, brought us hot meals, watched the kids while I visited my husband at the hospital after our car accident... Such good neighbors they were. It really felt like genuine friendship and love. I now suspect that this type of giving behavior, is reserved for unbaptized ones. We were a gold mine for service hours, with our long Bible studies that were actually long social calls with 30 minutes of studying.
Like a recent visitor to this site, impala63rag, I experienced what I would call some "true" friendship and care from the JWs I knew. To this day, I have a love and compassion for them, that I have not had with any others I know today. It is sad to admit that, since none of those people talk to me anymore, and they stopped "calling on us" almost 2 years ago now. I guess not even some bonus service time is worth risking your spiritual health by talking to someone who asks difficult questions.