As a little background - I was born-in to being a Witness, back in '79, in Detroit, in mostly black and poor congregations. Baptized when 10-ish, stayed around, was on the fast track to MS, but faded when I moved out at 24ish.
There was a combination of a few things that got me on the road to "freedom" from the cognitive dissonance that kept me "in the truth" for so long. The main thing was, being an artist and studying marketing, my thinking was patterned to constantly question if I was doing something "correctly," as constant improvement and questioning is what facilitates artistic and mental growth. Being in a religion that encouraged that...except when turned internally onto the religion itself, was so highly stupid that it always nagged the back of my mind. Secondarily was learning about psychology and realizing that true "free will" cannot exist (People are a mix of nature and nurture, neither of which you initially control - the person you are being dictated by things out of your control means that the initial "fault" for who anyone -is- does not lie on said individual since they do not dictate the individual they are. God punishing people for being products of what he intially put into play, by default, makes him a horrible creator...and this is completely obvious and stated in the Bible itself). The third, especially given my marketing background, was realizing that the "tiny" little micro-rules that the 'Society' would put into place had the side effects of making life terrible for people and extremely effecting their mental state. Their lack of addressing these things, or growing in pace with the times, would have negative effects on wide swaths of people - and there is no reason at all that there is no way to suggest/address changes in these manners (or that such micro-rules should even exist). And it was the "beard" rule that made this the most obvious to me.
There is no current in-print rule against beards or grooming to that level. However, like so many other things, there are "in-practice rules" that come from the district or circuit levels in talks or in meetings with elders, that are then passed around on a vocal level. In much of America, brothers in good standing must wear a suit to the meetings, and be "clean shaven," meaning no beards or five o clock shadow. There are hall to hall differences, but, generally, black and hispanic brothers are also allowed to have moustaches.
In the early 80s, things like bald heads and bears were seen to be a bit "extreme" (as were tattoos and such), and it was common to see moustaches on men, especially certain minorities. However, a shift began to occur in the 90s and especially the 2000s. Now MOUSTACHES were seen to make people look ridiculous (and were called things like pedo-staches), and goatees and similar were fashionable and professional (now, full beards are a bit more fashionable that goatees).
In the 2000's, I turned 20ish, and I began to realize that I looked BETTER with a well-kept beard. It emphasized my jawline, balanced my face, and helped bring out my dark eyes and eyebrows. So I began growing a rather trimmed one while attending meetings.
This caused a few brothers, and my parents to bug me. Always pointing out "what's growing there" or saying "be careful about looking rebellious." Eventually, I got somewhat annoyed with this and just pointed out the facts.
"My beard is well kept, and half of you guys have moustaches. Also, shaving with a razor gives me ingrown hairs, which gives me bad razor bumps and there is no way around this besides keeping a beard or five o clock shadow."
- Yes, moustaches are allowed as being well groomed and presentable. Keep your facial hair as low as possible/try other methods, you must be doing something wrong.
"They aren't "well groomed" in today's society. People think people with moustaches look like pedophiles. And, no, I tried everything - it's ingrown hairs when they're cut too the root."
- We don't go by the standards of the world - we go by God's standards.
"No, in this case, you exactly -are- going by the world's standards. The whole point of grooming standards is that you look neat, clean and presentable to other people. You don't look neat, clean, and presentable to other people with moustaches today - you looked like you stepped off a time machine from the early 80s and look like a joke. If you had neat beards, you would look more like professionals, which is the entire look you're attempting to emulate."
- If God saw this as an issue, he would make this change, but he obviously doesn't, so we do things as the faithful slave tells us.
"But it -is- an issue. People get opportunities based on how they are perceived, and if you don't look your best, you're hadicapping yourself."
- Trust in God's Holy Spirit and be patient.
This was also a time where I was extremely self-conscious about looks since I had never had a girlfriend due to the lack of choice in the congregation and obviously not being allowed to date "in the world." This helped me to realize that the organization was handicapping people's entire potential with tiny, stupid rules on dress and grooming, that were not up to date with actual reality. Not just with how the opposite sex viewed an individual, but also with things like getting jobs or promotions. People are visual creatures, if you have two people interviewing for a client facing job with similar qualifications, and one has a weird pedo-stache and the other looks up to date, the second is probably going to be hired. However, this logic is broken up by "Jehovah provides" when brought up, which always ends the conversation.
The issue was, of course, obvious. You have a bunch of old men making up rules - and said old men were shelterd and out of touch, but did not allow input from the younger rank and file to make adjustments. Being hit head-on with this personal example of an obvious case of God's Chariot moving at turtle speed made me consider EVERYTHING as being just as fallable. If God's organization is not up to date on this "tiny" rule, what else were they possibly not up to date on? It made me question everything, and do more research into science, history, and the Bible itself. Then I began seeing things like the blood rule and a billion other things all being based purely on opinion; science disproving half of the Bible, etc. And, I gradually just faded away as opposed to actually getting disfellowshipped or leaving.
Now I'm "blessed by Satan" with a six figure job, being a serial dater who is happy single, but would be willing to settle if I found the right person, and a downtown loft...literally right next to a Kingdom Hall. And generally happy 99% of the time. This is in comparison to myself as a practicing JW, who was broke, depressive and suicidal 80% of the time (it wasn't all being a JW, some was due to being an introverted teen that grew up in a bad neighborhood). I do shave before the rare once a year occasions that I do go to the Hall with my mom (she's now widowed, so I stick around for support; and don't cause too much of a force because her friends in the congregation are her support network, combined with her hope of seeing my father again) just to not cause too much of a force. And every time I go, I see the same sea-of-moustaches from elders and minesterial servants that think they're the coolest things on earth, next to their settled-for wives. And I just silently shake my head.