I am in this position. I am my fathers health care agent, and my wifes as well. If they are ever in a serious accident or emergency, do you think it would be unethical to allow blood to be used on them? My concience could not allow me to sit there and let someone die over BS doctrines. Should I just tell them I no longer can serve in that capacity?
If you are still in and a JWs health care agent, What to do?
by BU2B 11 Replies latest jw friends
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rip van winkle
How could possibly saving a life be unethical? Stay their proxy agent. They will thank you for making the decision to keep them alive!
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JWdaughter
honestly, it is my mom's written and stated wishes and I told her I would respect her wishes though I disagree with her strongly. I know that in spite of HER beliefs that my dad receieved blood at the end of his life (not to save it, but to give him a little strength). As it is, she had several surgeries since my dad passed and all could easily have needed blood if there was any slip-but no such worries. She did fine and was up and at 'em in no time.Sooner than a woman her age should expect in any case!
She worried during my 13+ surgeries that I would need blood and I told her I would take it were it necessary. It never was (and several of them easily could have needed it too!)I am anemic and received iron infusions and she kept thinking it was blood when she came to me at the clinic (3 hour treatment). Nurses kept telling her it wasn't. Doctor told her. They totally thought she was obsessed. They have dealt with JW patients (like her) and saw many suffer (and perhaps die) needlessly. They all thought it was BS and felt sorry for her-especially the old nurse who had seen the whole range of WT teachings on the blood issue and knew them for what they are-professionally as a hemotology and oncology nurse. I think they all treaeted me even nicer just knowing my mom (and they were kind to her, too!). It was a very caring office to go to-they had a lot of seriously ill patients, I was just the luckiest one there, I think!
Anyway, sorry I diverged from subject, but I think it is good to respect their wishes, but still take opportunity to drop some clues their way if you can. I actually went to one of her no blood pre surgery sessions (about an hour with a JW nurse/tech to explain what and what she would/would not take and coach her a LOT on what the WT says) and asked some slightly challenging but reasonable in the context of the situation, questions. Might want to be very available for such sessions if you can be. Major hospitals will do this. Ours was a catholic hospital, and they were not hesitant about caring for JWs according to their wishes.
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JWdaughter
Just have them write it out explicitly what they want in a health care will kind of thing. That way, it isn't on you other than to agree that yes, it is indeed their will to do so. This actually will protect their interests and yours in case of the issue ever being raised. It gives you the freedom,if ever asked about YOUR feelings (in a court or something) to state what you want is not necessary what they want, but you are trying to respect their choice as much as you regret the necessity to do so.
Get it in writing! Not just your POA, but their actual health care directive.
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rip van winkle
I think that you are a health care agent for family members that have been mislead about blood transfusions by the WatchTower cult.
It is their wish to die rather than be transfused because they believe the lie. That is the dilemma. In a life and death situation, knowing what you know, do you let them die?
Maybe take some time to think this through.
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Jaidubdub
I am a care agent for my parent - a devout jw. out of respect, I will do as they have asked. We ask others to respect our non-belief of the jw religion, I think we need to respect their beliefs of being a jw... It is their life & they have the right to live it as it is, regardless of how misguided they May be...
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JWdaughter
If that policy does her in and she is gone, she will be happy going that way. If I defy her and she lives, I might as well be dead to her. Seriously. She is over 70 now. She isn't going to change and I dont want her last years being lonely and devastated because she is shunning me. NO, I don't think it is better that she is dead than I am shunned, i just dont want her miserable on both the blood and shunning thing. That's no way to live. She is alone enough-I live half a continent away from her. Does that sound cold. I think it sort of does, but I can't imagine leaving her basically depressed and miserable because of the impact of having been given blood when she is totally repulsed at the idea. That just seems kind of mean.
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WhoYourDaddy
"respect" that's not a word in the jw vocabulary.
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rip van winkle
jwdaughter : If that policy does her in and she is gone, she will be happy going that way."
No, the scenario is she can't speak for herself. She will not be happy. She will not be anything. She WILL be dead.
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And I'm all for respecting others wishes. The problem here is that his family( his wife and his father) are indoctrinated in believing their GOD would view them as disloyal for having a life-saving blood transfusion and loyal for dying.
And, they DON'T want to DIE!! They just believe they will be resurrected to live on the earth forever.
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rip van winkle
Here's a link to a story posted yesterday. A teen-aged girl ( minor) LIVED , despite the "NO BLOOD" stance of her JW parents!