How would you compose these facts into sentences?
by compound complex 44 Replies latest jw friends
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compound complex
Greetings, Bobcat and all other enthusiastic grammarians:
Please, BC, do intend your pun! The "take over" is quite all right; to avoid all confusion, however, and tend toward a more staid, boring () description of said occurrence, I'll give you my "perspective," or "viewpoint"!
Your reasoning, your explanation are spot on, standing up to what the books actually do say and standard usage allows! More . . .
But first, I must walk an anxious pooch, who's just eaten and needs to . . .
CC
Adjustment:
"Mary, [who is] a high school student [dependent clause], sauntered home toward Maple Way [prepositional phrase], her long red, curly [adjectives] hair shining in the sun."
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millie210
Love this thread!
What fun and I am learning too!
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Bobcat
Millie (thoroghly modern, no doubt):
I concur!
Take Care
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nancy drew
As Ben sat in his favorite old chair scratching his grizzled beard he snarled at Danny the neighbor kid who zipped by on his skateboard. It seemed like only yesterday He was riding along on his new shinny blue 3 speed schwinn bike showing off for Mary. Oh Mary that beautiful high school cheerleader with the long red curly hair the sweetheart of Maple Way. The bike was a christmas present From aunt Jean his mother's older sister who gave everyone the best that money could buy, so she was his favorite. As he watched Danny head down the street he wished for a minute that he could change the past and instead of a cynical old bachelor sitting on his porch on a warm afternoon dreaming the impossible dream he could be living his dream. His life a series of missed opportunities and bad decisions and now nothing but dreams. As he began to doze off he was startled by a loud hissing sound as a meteorite crashed into his front yard and Ben's life changed in a blinding flash.
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compound complex
Absolutely wonderful, dear Nancy!
What this grizzled old man (CC) needs is a meteorite to part his hair and wake him up!
Thanks, Millie and Bobcat, for your newest posts -- glad you're enjoying this heady word sport!
Please, rip, share your creations!
CC
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LisaRose
The grizzled old man from next door, a life long bachelor, used his anger and suspicion in an attempt to disguise his loneliness.
The ten year old boy was riding the bicycle he had gotten for Christmas, his face showing his obvious pride in it's shiney blue color and enviable three speeds.
Mary, a high school student and the reigning beauty of Maple street, smoothed her long curly red hair and smiled, a smile that chilled me to the core.
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compound complex
Very nice, LisaRose!
I am chilled to the core -- what a twist!
Best.
CoCo
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compound complex
Bobcat:
I think the basic idea behind my use of adjectives was grouping them into 'families.' For example, for the man, "grizzled" and "old" describe his appearance, "cynical" is an attitude (and I may have needed a comma between "grizzled" and "old" (not sure). Similarly, Mary's description breaks down to "location" (from Maple Street), "age" (a sophmore), and "hair" (curly, red, and long). For the bike, 3-speed desribes its mechanical operation, whereas, that it was a Christmas gift describes how the boy received it.
I like this thought of "grouping them [adjectives] into 'families.'" Descriptions: physical appearance; the inner man; location; manner of receipt; et cetera.
I could see where the adjectives might be grouped into different families and introduced in different order based on the view of the writer and how he/she wishes to compose the sentence. Language, and the use of it, is an amazing gift/talent.
Yes, BC, it is based on the writer's point of view. I would say, "The cynical, grizzled old man . . ." This if I chose to string the adjectives all together. Your and the other posters' expanding upon the basics is better, more toward developing an actual storyline. I put old before man because the main point, IMHO, is that the main character is, basically, an "old man." The rest is superfluous detail. Some old men are clean-shaven and cheerful!
The semi-colon I used might have better been a colon. To me, semi-colons seem to seperate thoughts, not necessarily directly related. Colons, on the other hand, seem to directly point (sort of like an arrow) to the thought that follows. I don't know if that is official use of them. But that is how my mind sees them.
You're correct. My example from above: Descriptions: physical appearance; the inner man; location; manner of receipt; et cetera.
When I first composed it, I wasn't sure if you wanted 3 sentences (for the man, girl, and boy) or just one that encompassed them all. Looking at your first post again, it appears you were looking for a seperate sentence for each. So my composition suffered a little from lack of attention to detail. But it was fun trying to compose them all together into one.
No suffering; my original thought was three separate sentences, but you and friends wove delightful yet somewhat differing accounts of the same three individuals!
Take Care
You, too, mon ami!
CC
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rip van winkle
There once was a bachelor named Mike;
At age 10 owned a blue, 3 speed bike.
"T'was a banana seated Schwinn!",
Grizzled old Mike barked with a grin.
As he peeled away on his new trike!