Wife just went to circuit meeting

by menrov 11 Replies latest jw experiences

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  menrov

  Hi, for a couple of months now. I stopped (after some 17 years) visiting meetings etc. My intellect and conscience could not longer stand the lectures from the platform and in the magazines. Anyway, my wife is still in, and almost seems she is even more "in" than before.

  Today there is a circuit meeting. I did not go but she decided to go. I can only imagine the comments when she is there:
  oh, how strong you are to be here, so good of you, a very good example etc etc.

  If I would go out on my own to day, people who know me/us, we likely say: where is your wife? that is not nice that she preferred to go to that meeting than to stay with you, that religion must have a strong influence on her etc etc

  The first group only looks at how my wife is following the JW routine, regardless her (scriptural) responsibility to her husband. The second group will have a much softer opinion and possibly find it all a bit strange that the wife is away for the whole day.

  I did ask her why she does not follow the council by Paul that the man is the head of the woman, in other words, the woman should follow the lead of the man. I am still very christian but not a JW anymore (faded, not DA/DF). So, there is not one little shred of scriptural support to justify her to choose for an/the organisation and as such disrespecting / disobeying her husband. In my view, it is actually against the scriptures.

  I sometimes wonder: how many marriages eventually ended due to this phenomenon?
  
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  Daniel1555

  Hi and welcome

  I understand that you wish that your wife is taking your course.

  But think. We all have religious freedom. She can decide for herself what she believes and what religious practices she wants to follow. That's a human right.

  If you try to pressure her, she will even more remain on the course what she believes to be right.

  Only if she sees for herself what is wrong in jw land, she might be ready to leave. That takes time and a lot of patience, understanding and love from your side.

  I wish you and your wife all the best.
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  The Searcher

  Amazing point!

  Absolutely a case of "you can't see the wood for the trees".

  I've never considered this aspect of a husband fading before his wife.

  Then again, the Org has this base well & truly covered now; they condone divorce on the unscriptural grounds of "spiritual" endangerment! Sorry, forgot about what Jesus said on the subject:

  (Matthew 5:32) "However, I say to YOU that everyone divorcing his wife, except on account of fornication or "spiritual" endangerment, makes her a subject for adultery, and whoever marries a divorced woman commits adultery."
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  menrov

  HI Daniel1555, you are right that in light of religious freedom, she has that right. In other words, she is entitled to have her own belief or faith. But with regard to actions, i.e. visiting meeting and supporting activities related to that belief, there should be some sort of common agreement. Otherwise this council has no value to christian, regardless if one is a JW:
  Eph. 5:22 Wives, submit to your husbands as to the Lord, 23 because the husband is the head of the wife as also Christ is the head of the church – he himself being the savior of the body. 24 But as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything.
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  EmptyInside

  When you were a Witness,I'm sure you realized that the religion is taught to be first in one's life. And they are taught to be obedient to the organization first.

  That wives be in subjection to their husband's,as long as it does not conflict,with what they feel is God's law.

  If you try to pressure her to stop going to meetings and assemblies,she may resent you for it.
  
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  Tapioca

  If it is truly your view that the woman should submit to your wishes and not doing so is disobeying/disrespecting her husband, then I suggest you spend some more quality time with that "intellect" and "conscience" you mentioned. You cannot choose to liberate her from the borg by using the tactics the borg uses to treat women and children like slaves or worse.
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  tiki

  she is "obeying god as ruler rather than men".....biblical headship of the hubby is not absolute.
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  cappytan

  Maybe instead of being a "head" you should be a companion, a friend to her.

  She'll likely enjoy the company of a friend more than a head and may someday wish to stay home and hang out with her friend instead of going to a meeting.
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  Crazyguy

  I think a lot of marriages end because the mate that left is marginalised and is no longer looked at in any good way. Who would want to be married to an evil apostate, that left Jehovah and eats at the table of demons
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  Wild_Thing

  If you plan to persuade her to leave by using your position as "head of the house", I hope you can see that you will fail.

  In fact, I don't see this tactic being successful in any situation. If my husband were to tell me I had to do something he wants me to do because "the man is head of the woman", his head would promptly be shoved up his ass. By me.