Tonights Prayer at JW family dinner!

Beans

Tonights dinner at my folks started off as usual, we were getting
ready for the prayer and as Dad got us all ready for the prayer and
heads were dropping for the ceremony my nephew yells out does Uncle
Beans Pray? I was and even my JW sister was laughing and as my Dad
was saying No! No! hands were gripped and the prayer continued.

As the prayer went into its usual and predictable ramblings there was a
new verse that I don`t recall hearing before "And Jehovah we thank you
for your spiritual and MATERIAL provisions" I almost stood up and said
"Dad what the f**k are you talking about"? Since when do they thank
Jehovah for Material things?

I guess some things still do surprise me!

Beans

http://www.Quotes.JehovahsWitnesses.com/

Quotes

You da man! "Does Uncle Glen Pray"???? I love the unashamed questions that kids ask! Still laughing thinking about that one.

Too bad Dateline hasn't aired yet, you could have answered "Yes, I pray that YOU don't get PREYED UPON by a low-life molester like your mother was!"

As for the Material thing: Maybe your dad is trying to "guilt" Jehovah into giving him enough money so he won't have to work through his retirement! I can just see it: God (think of George Burns) is in Heaven, listening to all the prayers, and then hears your dad's prayer and says "OH SHIT, I FORGOT TO MATERIALLY REWARD RAY FOR A LIFETIME OF FAITHFUL DOOR KNOCKING AND BAD PUNS AND ONE-LINERS" and pushes a God-like magic button on his master control panel and POOF your dad has $1.5 MILLION in the bank.

Either that, or else he really feels that the Dodge Omnis were JEHOVAH'S PROVISION. (Gee, thanks Yahweh, but if I had a BMW745 I could get to those doors much faster!)

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For interesting Watchtower Society literature quotes, complete with references but without any editorial, check out:
http://Quotes.JehovahsWitnesses.com

Beans

You da man Quotes! Only you and Big Dave feel my pain! Muahhahahaha!

Naeblis

I'm watching both of you...

Imbue

Oh yeah Beans that would have gone over real well..."what the $#%^"

And yes JWs do give thanks for all the material provisions. Didn't you know that they only have what God has lovingly provided...

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"The only good elite are dead elite!!"-Naeblis
(Ok! He borrowed it)

Quotes

Naeblis said:

I'm watching both of you...

Are you in the building on the other side of the Don? I THOUGHT THAT WAS YOU!

But why do you only watch me when I'm in my underwear (or less)?

===========================
For interesting Watchtower Society literature quotes, complete with references but without any editorial, check out:
http://Quotes.JehovahsWitnesses.com

Naeblis

I know your game.. "Quotes" if that is your REAL fake name on the internet. You cannot draw me out with innuendo about my gazing practices. My attention is fixed on you AND your devious contemporaries (namely the one known as Beans) Today for example, after dinner, I noticed you tip the waitress a paltry 18 percent, though as far as I could tell hiding behind that red Mazda, her service was beyond reproach. I know you are both plotting something. What do you plan on doing with that other 2% I wonder...

Quotes

The 2% will be donated to the "Get Naeblis a Haircut we can all live with" fund.

BTW her service was not beyond reproach; from your distant vantage point you could not see her put her thumb in the soup as she served it!

Another BTW, my people are wathching you.

===========================
For interesting Watchtower Society literature quotes, complete with references but without any editorial, check out:
http://Quotes.JehovahsWitnesses.com

Imbue

And I'm watching all three of you because I'm a spy for Beans Wiffffe...

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"The only good elite are dead elite!!"-Naeblis
(Ok! He borrowed it)

puzzled

Imbue

aHAA! SO you admit it!!! You are a SPY!! I knew it!!!

plumcrazy of the just kidding class.

"Keep away from people who try to belittle your ambitions. Small people always do that, but the really great make you feel that you, too, can become great." --Mark Twain

Tonights Prayer at JW family dinner!

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