Funny experience last night...

by pronomono 11 Replies latest jw experiences

  • pronomono
    pronomono

    My story in brief....

    After being a born-in, getting baptized at 15, and seeking to excel based on the approval of elders and my parents, I hit a bump in the road. I moved to a new congregation, and was a little more than disheartened by the lack of love. With all my responsibilities removed from the recent move and being told that I no longer qualified for responsibilities due to my declining activity, I sat down to do some long overdue research to appreciate our spiritual heritage. I started with Studies in the Scriptures and Millions Now Living. I was dumbfounded by the things I learned and was curious how much other crap we used to teach as "truth". This led to severe cognitive dissonance, marital problems, and depression. All three are slowly getting better with time. It seems that the more meetings we miss, the better it gets. I've been fading since July 2013 and have only been door to door twice since then. I miss, on average two or three meetings a month, but this month has been particularly good since I've missed two weeks straight. I haven't received a single call from the elders for encouragement, not even the one that just a few weeks ago claimed he'd be in touch weekly because it was his duty in light of the recent BOE letter.

    So after missing two weeks straight, I walk into the supermarket to get some beer, apple cider to be more specific, and I see a brother at our hall. I've always liked this brother because he's one of the few that have been nice to me, so I approach him to see how he's doing.

    Me: "Hey bro! What's going on? I haven't seen you for a while."

    Bro: "Hey! What's up?" (He stops. Looks at me really closely.) "Oh wait, I'm not supposed to talk to you."

    Me: (Initial reaction. Oh crap. They've found out. I've been disfellowshipped and they didn't even tell me, or at least marked. Those pricks!) "Really? What's up?"

    Bro: "Oh, I was disfellowshipped last night." (And he starts to walk off as fast as he can.)

    Me: (I start to walk off fast with him to.) "I'm sorry to hear that bro."

    Bro: (Still trying to get away.) "Don't worry, I'll be back."

    Me: "I know. I still got to check on my brother though. I can't shun you like that. You know that."

    So we stopped and chatted for a bit. I tried to get him to tell me what happened and why they disfellowshipped him, but he wouldn't say anything except it was too personal. He assured me that things were great with him and his wife. (My guess is pornography.) I assured him that I was there for him if he needed anything.

    It felt good not shunning him. Especially after this time a year ago I met an older sister that was disfellowshipped and shrunk back like she was diseased when she told me her status. I guess I've come a long way from where I was, but I still have quite a journey left ahead of me.

    Thanks everyone for helping me to begin mustering up the courage to do what's right and be a better person.

  • Phizzy
    Phizzy

    Well done! if this guy does go back, which I hope he does not, but, whatever is best for him I suppose, if he goes back, I bet he will not practice shunning in future.

    Whenever the horrible practice is ignored it shows that the GB have no power. The more it can be eroded the better.

    It really does feel good to be a better, more Christlike, person than when you were a JW doesn't it ?

  • quellycatface
    quellycatface

    That's so true, Phizzy.it's all about what Jesus would have done.

    That was a great experience promotion.I hope you got him thinking.

  • Miss.Fit
    Miss.Fit

    Good for you promo. No lightning strikes I take it?

    You gave that bro. His dignity back.

  • snakeface
    snakeface

    Good for you! You did a good thing by telling him you'll be there for him. Your behavior gave a good "witness" to him about how unloving the organization is. You showed interest in him as a person. "Actions speak louder than words."

  • pronomono
    pronomono

    It really does Phizzy. Hopefully I'll run into him around town some more since I don't see him as much at the KH (primarily because I'm not there as much now).

  • Frazzled UBM
    Frazzled UBM

    pronomo - is ther anything you cna do to maintain contact. It sounds like he is dead keen on reinstatement and the reinstated are the biggest prisoners of all. Show him more unconditional love and get him out doing stuff so he really enjoys being df'd rather than spending the time being depressed and waiting to be reinstated. Cheers Fraz

  • Watchtower-Free
    Watchtower-Free

    What a great un-witness. Way to go showing actual Christian love .

  • bigmac
    bigmac

    good work prono--if alot more dubs did the same as you--ignored the shunning dictat--the wts would soon start shrinking

  • pronomono
    pronomono

    Frazzled, it would be hard to do much else openly since his wife is very much in. I'm not trying to out myself just yet, but if and when I see him around outside the KH, I do plan to continue making a good faith effort to show him unconditional love. In the KH, it's a bit harder but a handshake and a warm smile doesn't seem out of place.

    I'm mainly staying in now (besides family/friends) because I want to experience the international convention we are scheduled for in New Orleans. I've got a gut feeling that the content is going to continue to dumbfound us and provide great talking points with my wife. I need to be in somewhat good standing at that point if I have any hope of helping my wife and family. Plus that date is symbolic to me in that it will be my one year anniversary learning TTATT.

    So I'm still walking the fine line between being the man I want to be and the man I'm expected to be.

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