About those green handshakes, if the total value adds up to more than 600 toilet papers within one tax year for one individual, you are REQUIRED to write a 1099 form and send it to the IRS. Now, suppose just one person did that. Give 601 toilet papers to one hounder-hounder and write up a 1099 form at the end of the tax year. They should be in for some embarrassment when they get their copy--just ensure you send the copy to the IRS at the same time.
I wonder what the congregation would do about someone pulling that one.