A congregation with all the craziest wts teachings

by rebel8 13 Replies latest jw friends

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  rebel8

  I was just imagining, what if a group started their own congregation, with all of the wackiest teachings. Can you imagine what that would be like?

  The library would be full of 1800s-1980s publications. There would be a flat screen tv playing the Sparlock and masturbation videos.

  Sisters would be walking around with used McDonald's napkins on their heads, prarie skirts to their ankles, pantyhose, "comfortable shoes", loose turtlenecks, and would never cut or color their hair.

  The men would have no mustache or beard but they'd have big 1970s sideburns, wide ties and polyester suits.

  There could be a healing room in the back for reiki, acupressure, iridology, herbology, and guided consultations with Golden Age ("to cure a cold, jump up and down naked").

  There could be a snack bar dedicated to beliefs/teachings not in print. The stereo system in this room would be playing backwards masking music, Thriller, and assorted Satanic groups. There would be a flat screen tv showing The Photodrama of Creation. The menu would include Milky Way candy bars, blood sausage, hot dogs, and devil's food cake. The booths would be made out of Rutherford's Cadillacs. The art on the wall would be photos of Beth Shan and Bethel.

  I'm having an idea that this should be a living museum.

  People would not be allowed to leave until they had a judicial committee and were disfellowshipped.
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  metatron

  Somewhere in California, perhaps?

  metatron
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  wasblind

  I was just imagining, what if a group started thier own congregation, with all the wackiest teachings.

  Can you image what that would be like _____Rebel8

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  ..... illustrations of Micheal Jackson to show how folks will change from dark to light in paradise

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  I couldn't help myself Rebel8

  key word : Thriller

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  jam

  While showing the masturbation videos, you here weird sounds coming

  from the audience, a sister screams "oh my God , Praise Jah".

  The lights come on and the audience looks as if a hurricane passed

  thru. Everyone with a Big smile on their face.

  I know, that's a terrible thing to say or visualize. I guess

  I will burn in hell.
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  wasblind

  LOL @ Jam

  You won't be alone. The sister from the audience will be there too
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  jam

  Sorry,you hear weird sounds. but there could be weird sounds in here or

  there.
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  problemaddict

  meta, we already cure colds jumping up and down naked in CA. Its excites the humors and get the viscuous embelleshing.
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  scary21

  Another great idea for someome to make a spoof video and put it on you-tube. It would be a blast to make. lol

  People running around saying "praise the GB" and " I must ask the elders about that " every other sentence.

  It could go like this " You know sister nutcase I have been looking to buy a new house but it's on a street named Catholic church Rd. " Wow you better ask the elders about that sister kissbutt"

  "As you know sister kissbutt my baby will be born in a few weeks. I love the name Trent but I noticed it has two t's, and they kind of look like crosses." Wow sister nutcase I never thought about THAT before. You better go talk to the elders about that "

  Masturbation video playing behind them while they have McDonald's napkins on their heads. ROFL

  HA Ha haha I did look at a house on Cathlic Church Rd.... but the address was not 666

  Sherry....I love to laugh
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  Amelia Ashton

  It could be done like the contradictory scriptures quiz on youtube with the correct answer being the wrong "old light". It could be really funny.
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  sarahsmile

  Next to the healing room, you will need the spirit medium room with modern day ERA machine so Russell and the 144,000 can channel information down to us. New Light! no more 144,000.

  Hope the boring Photo Drama of Creation has a cartoon show first! May I suggest the true story of Mr. Snake with that fun loving woman,Eve? Or was it Mr.Snake with that fun loving man,Adam. Oh hmm never mind it was not a JW teaching! How about the cartoon show with angels having sex with women. That is the one because it has better morals for the young children to view.:-)

  Also, do you think the building should be in the shape of a pyramid with the entrance walls explaing an inch for a year and 1914 or 1915? Stairs leading downward with the walls inch for a year explaining historical Jesus Christ as we enter closer to hell? That really is my favorite historical memory of Jesus!

  I think my imagination got the best of me but it was fun!