by joe134cd 13 Replies latest watchtower beliefs
When I was first introducing myself to apostasy, I sincerley believed I could play both worlds. At the time I wasn't happy been a witness, and I didn't like the people in my congregation, but I thought I could just stumble along. With in 18 months of visiting my first apostate site, I had walked out of the KH.
What I have a hard time getting my head around are these people who can successfully play both worlds. OMG just how do you do it.
Hi joe134cd,
I can relate. I don't know how they do it either. For me once that first domino fell the others followed in quick succession. Now I can't bear the intellectual and emotional dishonesty required to hang out with those I know that are still in. I too still have a foot in both camps at the mo and I hate it. If you ever figure out the secret to how people successfully lie to themselves let me know.
Anyway Cheers and all the best to you.
PS: I found it helpful to practice mindfulness and only concentrate on the here and now. Try not to think about the big picture too much.
Take care now.
sparrowdown
I faked it for ten months after I learned TTATT, but it was easier being still in when you're DF'd the only people I spoke to were other DF'd ones trying to get RI'd. But I did have to fake it with them, I didn't have to fake FS and family worship became training my son about TTATT.
After being turned down for reinstatement 5 times I thought there was no point in going back I need to start a fresh life, many of my other DF'd friends got Ri'd and I was left on the back row alone. So I broke free.
Kate xx
KateWild,
That's awful you applied 5 times for reinstatement. How did you do it ?.
You know I am constantly amazed at the intestinal fortitude shown by the personal experiences of people here.
All I can say Kate Wild is their loss!
sparrowdown
That's awful you applied 5 times for reinstatement. How did you do it ?-sparrow
Thanks for your support, I put a limit on it and I recorded my last JC meeting to help other going through a similar situation. When I listen to the recording I know these three men were never going to RI me, never. I was DF'd unjustly for reprting Domestic violence and was kept out the org unjustly for continuing to report further incidences to the police.
I a better out of the toxic environment. Kate xx
It definitely ain't easy - in fact, hand-on-heart, it is getting to be stomach churning at times. Some of the answer given by lovely bros & sis are evidence of how successful the Org's brainwashing is.
However, my light at the end of the tunnel is getting ever brighter, and my fade is going extremely well - so far!
And I refuse to go along with ANYTHING which I know is false - e.g. I will NOT be sharing in the distribution of invitations to an un-Scriptural non-event which has been perverted into a religious example of voyeurism!
I stopped going to meetings in September 13. I started looking at "apostate" websites in the November, I joined JWN on the 26/11. After about a week I had to DA myself. There was NO way I could be part of that crap, or have people say "aren't you a JW?", how embarrassing!!! As our Kate just said, it is a toxic environment.
JWN gave me the key to my prison cell I'd been locked in for 14 years.
I sincerely applaud all of you joe, kate, searcher,quelly.
Now your experience is here to continue the healing in others.
sparrowdown
The very first time I lurked on JWN was the last meeting I went to. It confirmed what my gut feeling was telling me all along but my jc after a year being out was the proof I needed. My heart goes out to those still in due to family.
I can think of a couple of people on here who are both long term elders as well as long term posters.The mental anguish must be unbearable.
