Introduction to the Faith
I’ve been a lurker for many years now, and recently created an account to post comments. Someone suggested I should introduce myself and tell my story. My introduction to the religion was when I was five years old. My parents began studying with a couple from the local congregation. That was the last year I celebrated Christmas and I still have that one memory of waking up on Christmas morning. I also have one memory of Halloween dressed up as Pacman that was around 1982.
My father made an honest effort to become a witness but after five years he came to the conclusion they were no different than any other religion. He had three college degrees and was a teacher. I think because of his education and career pursuit he was looked down upon by the Elders. The biggest reason my father stopped attending meeting, was when he reported seeing an elder’s daughter making out with a “worldly” boy. My father was reprimanded, for reporting it, by the Elders and he stopped all association. Interestingly that elder’s daughter got pregnant that same year and was disfellowshiped. There are many other examples in my congregation of hypocrisy but I’m sure they are no different than the readers of this forum have experienced.
My mother eventually got baptized and believes the JW have the truth to this day. However, she rarely attends meetings but is devout in her readings and beliefs. My siblings and I are all baptized too, but are all considered inactive. I use to be a strong believer and was an auxiliary pioneer at the age of 15. My faith was much stronger than any of the other children in the congregation, because I didn’t have to go to meetings or study the literature. I did those things out of my heart because I truly believed there was a caring God.
The beginning of Doubt
My first doubt this was God’s organization actually happened an hour after I was baptized. I was at our circuit convention and my friend from my congregation was guarding an entry way. He needed to use the restroom and get something to eat, but had no one to cover for him. I asked the elder in charged if I could cover for my friend (who was the same age as me). The elder stated only baptized brothers could serve and I stated I was baptized. He then asked me how long and when I stated that I was baptized today, he replied it wasn’t long enough. Now, this may seem inconsequential to some but to me it had a great impact on my faith. I got baptized and thought, finally I’m a brother and equaled to all and then I realize that was not the case. There was a hierarchy and I was not a part of it nor had any hope of getting there as a youth, since both my parents were either spiritually weak or a non-believer. At that same convention I also followed my same friend to the accounting room where all the money was being counted. His father was an Elder at the time and was there with other Elders counting the donations. I was told I couldn’t enter that room, but I looked inside and there were many Elder wives in there along with their children. Children barely able to walk, teenagers, and women were allowed in there because of who their Father and Husband were. I was eventually blessed at the end of the convention to clean the restrooms.
The imperfections of the organization were not the deciding factor for me leaving the Faith. It was the change “and this generation will not pass away” doctrine in 1995. I graduated high school that year and thought to myself how for 13 years in my youth I preached that message and now they change it? I was told it was “adjusted knowledge” hence my user name. I decided to get my college degree and pursue a career. That was 19 years ago.