A letter from my Mom

by ateograciasadios 18 Replies latest jw friends

  • ateograciasadios
    ateograciasadios

    Friends,

    I have seen several posts like the following, and never thought I would have to write one myself, but here we go: my dear Mom is forcing me to make a move... one that I have been really avoiding as much as possible. She wrote me an email today, and here I am giving you an idea of its contents. Perhaps you all have different advices for me, and I will see what fits my sitation better.

    She starts with some guilt-trip a la WT style, telling me that I have changed a lot in the past 10 years, since I moved from home (South America) to study in the US. Then she has a deal for me: 'I have been praying, and now I am ready to ask you to do this, so that Jehovah through his Holy Spirit can touch your heart, helping you to solve any doubts, because otherwise I will have to arrive to the inevitable conclusion that you have left Him, which means you are also leaving me'.

    'Please call Bethel in Brooklyn, and talk to brother Brown in this number (xxxxxx). Make an appointment with him, and tell him all your doubts about the organization and about Jehovah. After we do this, we can really know what you think. I have made a vow to Jehovah so that He can help you, and I pray that he gives me strength to accept your ultimate decision. I want to be on earth when His will is done, and to help sanctify His name, and I hope He can help me be there with my two sons. Love'.

    So, since I am new here and nobody really knows my situation, I clarify that I don't have any doubts now. I admited to myself that I have been an atheist for at least a couple of years, and I have no intention of going back to the borg. Some circumstances have made my fade easy, and it has been almost a year and half since I attended meetings. As many of you know by experience, I am against the wall, not so much for myself: I am dettached from the congregation in all aspects of my everyday life -except when I go back to visit my family, it becomes a problem.... but in the day-to-day routine, I don't need the congregation. It is only because I am the only person my mom really has in many aspects. She gets all the emotional and even financial support from me, and she has said that she would rather die, if I am not going to stay firm in my commintment to the borg when I was 12......

    I guess I could fake it from here. Tell her that I believe all that BS, that I attend meetings, because in a way she is not able to confirm. But at some point, it feels like it is unavoidable the moment when she will shun me for not staying in. My big concern, again, is her because I am her only hope.

    Anyone?

  • whathappened
    whathappened

    Ewe...you are in a tough spot. I always advise others to betrue to yourself. Live an authentic life. Tell your sweet brainwashed momma that you love her truly but cannot be a member of an organisation that is clearly not what it claims to be.

    Best to you, dear

  • JustVisting
    JustVisting

    Ateo,

    I feel for you and your mom. I would not mislead her by saying that you still believe in WT. Are you so sure that she would shun you? The love of a mother for "mijo" can be very strong afterall. It may be that she would eventually accept a visit from you if you continually showed her unconditional love.

  • skeeter1
    skeeter1

    I hope that this passage helps you with some insight . . .

    *****

    Religion of Freedom

    This is a religion of freedom and reason for man to lead a noble life.

    B uddhism does not prevent anyone from learning the teachings of other religions. In fact, the Buddha encouraged His followers to learn about other religions and to compare His Teachings with other teachings. The Buddha says that if there are reasonable and rational teachings. The Buddha says that if there are reasonable and rational teachings in other religions, His followers are free to respect such teachings. It seems that certain religionists try to keep their followers in the dark, some of them are not even allowed to touch other religious objects or books. They are instructed not to listen to the preachings of other religions. They are enjoined not to doubt the teachings of their own religion, however unconvincing their teachings may appear to be. The more they keep their followers on a one-track mind, the more easily they can keep them under control. If anyone of them exercises freedom of thought and realizes that he had been in the dark all the time, then it is alleged that the devil has possessed his mind. The poor man is given no opportunity to use his common sense, education, of his intelligence. Those who wish to change their views on religion are taught to believe that they are not perfect enough to be allowed to use free will in judging anything for themselves.

    According to the Buddha, religion should be left to one's own free choice. Religion is not a law, but a disciplinary code which should be followed with understanding. To Buddhists true religious principles are neither a divine law nor a human law, but a natural law.

    In actual fact, there is no real religious freedom in any part of the world today. Man has not the freedom even to think freely. Whenever he realizes that he cannot find satisfaction through his own religion to which he belongs, which cannot provide him with satisfactory answers to certain questions, he has no liberty to give it up and to accept another which appeals to him. The reason is that religious authorities, leaders, and family members have taken that freedom away from him. Man should be allowed to choose his religion which is in accordance with his own conviction. One has no right to force another to accept a particular religion. Some people surrender their religion for the sake of love, without a proper understanding of their partner's religion. Religion should not be changed to suit man's emotions and human weaknesses. One must think very carefully before changing one's religion. Religion is not a subject for bargaining; one should not change one's religion for personal, material gains. Religion is to be sued for spiritual development and for self-salvation.

    Buddhists never try to influence other religionists to come and embrace their religion for material gain. Nor do they try to exploit poverty, sickness, illiteracy and ignorance in order to increase the number of Buddhist population. The Buddha advised those who indicated their wish to follow Him, not to be hasty in accepting His Teachings. He advised them to consider carefully His Teaching and to determine for themselves whether it was practical or not for them to follow.

    Buddhism teaches that mere belief or outward rituals are insufficient for attaining wisdom and perfection. In this sense, outward conversion becomes meaningless. To promote Buddhism by force would mean pretending to propagate justice and love by means of oppression and injustice. It is of no importance to a follower of the Buddha whether a person calls himself a Buddhist or not. Buddhists know that only through man's understanding and exertion will they come nearer to the goal preached by the Buddha.

    Amongst the followers of every religion are some fanatics. Religious fanaticism is dangerous. A fanatic is incapable of guiding himself by reason or even by the scientific principles of observation and analysis. According to the Buddha, a Buddhist must be a free man with an open mind and must not be subservient to anyone for his spiritual development. He seeks refuge in the Buddha by accepting Him as a source of supreme guidance and inspiration. He seeks refuge in the Buddha, not blindly, but with understanding. To Buddhists, the Buddha is not a savior nor is He an anthropomorphic being who claims to possess the power of washing away other's sins. Buddhists regard the Buddha as a Teacher who shows the Path to salvation.

    Buddhism has always supported the freedom and progress of mankind. Buddhism has always stood for the advancement of knowledge and freedom for humanity in every sphere of life. There is nothing in the Buddha's Teaching that has to be withdrawn in the face of modern, scientific inventions and knowledge. The more new things that scientists discover, the closer they come to the Buddha.

    The Buddha emancipated man from the thralldom of religion. He also released man from the monopoly and the tyranny of the priestcraft. It was the Buddha who first advised man to exercise his reason and not to allow himself to be driven meekly like dumb cattle, following the dogma of religion. The Buddha stood for rationalism, democracy and practical, ethical conduct in religion. He introduced this religion for people to practise with human dignity.

    The followers of the Buddha were advised not to believe anything without considering it properly. In the Kalama Sutta,the Buddha gave the following guidelines to a group of young people:

    'Do not accept anything based upon mere reports,
    traditions or hearsay,
    Nor upon the authority of religious texts,
    Nor upon mere reasons and arguments,
    Nor upon one's own inference,
    Nor upon anything which appears to be true,
    Nor upon one's own speculative opinion,
    Nor upon another's seeming ability,
    Nor upon the consideration: 'This is our Teacher.'
    'But, when you know for yourselves the certain things are unwholesome and bad: tending to harm yourself of others, reject them.
    'And when you know for yourselves that certain things are wholesome and good: conducive to the spiritual welfare of yourself as well as others, accept and follow them.'

    Buddhists are advised to accept religious practices only after careful observation and analysis, and only after being certain that the method agrees with reason and is conducive to the good of one and all.

    A true Buddhist does not depend on external powers for his salvation. Nor does he expect to get rid of miseries through the intervention of some unknown power. He must try to eradicate all his mental impurities to find eternal Happiness. The Buddha says, 'If anyone were to speak ill of me, my teaching and my disciples, do not be upset or perturbed, for this kind of reaction will only cause you harm. On the other hand, if anyone were to speak well of me, my teaching and my disciples, do not be over-joyed, thrilled or elated, for this kind of reaction will only be an obstacle in forming a correct judgment. If you are elated, you cannot judge whether the qualities praised are real and actually found in us.' -- (Brahma Jala Sutta). Such is the unbiased attitude of a genuine Buddhist.

    The Buddha had upheld the highest degree of freedom not only in its human essence but also in its divine qualities. It is a freedom that does not deprive man of his dignity. It is a freedom that releases one from slavery to dogmas and dictatorial religious laws or religious punishments.

    -ooOoo-

  • mauiboy
    mauiboy

    As stated above by 'whathappened': be true to yourself. If you are not that, you will never be anything but unture to everyone else. If mom and others cannot accept that, it is their problem, not yours. Your love for your mom is shown thru your actions. Perhaps remind her that actions speak louder than words. All the best to you.

  • problemaddict
    problemaddict

    Your poor mother. I feel bad that she must think that if you no longer believe in the religion of your youth, that you are somehow no longer her son.

    Its so unatural.

    She wants you to contact brother Brown at bethel? You mean JR Brown the media supervisor? Does your family actually have a connnection with this guy, or did she just see his name on a video?

    Be loving....be honest. Nothing could make you stop loving her, and nothing about you has changed. You simply no longer follow the religion of your youth.

    Also, may I ask which South American country you are from? I used to serve in South America, but I am from the US.

  • ABibleStudent
    ABibleStudent

    Welcome ateograciasadios, I'm sorry that your mother's cult persona is trying to emotionally coerce you to behaving as a JW.

    I would write your mother the following note to politely confront her and to find out what she is implying, because she did not write that she will be shunning you:

    Dear Mom,

    I'm very confused by your last letter to me where you wrote, "I will have to arrive to the inevitable conclusion that you have left Him, which means you are also leaving me." Mom, I love you unconditionally and have no plans leaving you. Are you planning on leaving me? What are you trying to tell me? Also, who is brother Brown?

    I will call you (insert a time).

    I'm (insert what you are doing or what you want to write her).

    Love,

    Pease be with you and everyone, who you love,

    Robert

  • ateograciasadios
    ateograciasadios

    Thanks problemaddict,

    Obviously my dear mom has no clue about how to get information from the WT.... and of course her idea will do nothing to help my case. I guess she did find brother Brown on the website, but I do not blame her for that because, dare I say, nobody, especially in latinamerica, knows how corporate this organisation behaves.

    I am from MedellĂ­n, Colombia, where did you serve, and for how long?

    Thanks everyone for the comments!

  • clarity
    clarity

    Ateo......hi and welcome, so glad you found us.

    Take your time, don't let her rush you.

    That 'Brown' guy is not the guy you would want to talk to

    ever! If he is the one I am thinking of! Company Man!

    *

    Here is a link .....scroll down a bit on the first page, there is

    a scan of the 2009 Awake magazine "Is it wrong to change

    your religion?" You can read their very words!

    Also some comments in that thread that will help you.

    *

    http://www.jehovahs-witness.net/watchtower/bible/174959/1/No-One-Should-Be-Made-to-Choosee280a6-LIES-from-July-09-Awake#.UzO0UG9OVjo

    *

    If you look at the left hand top of your page ...you will see

    SEARCH ....type in what you are looking for, to find quotes etc.

    *

    Makes you wonder how a religion that spouts LOVE,

    can cause so much grief.

    * All the best ...keep posting.

    clarity

  • AudeSapere
    AudeSapere

    Sorry to hear about this letter. It is heart-breaking to get and even worse when you get that in writing.

    I think she is referring to JR Brown in Bethel. There are some YouTube videos and in particular is a recording from a former JWN poster. What he says in the interview completely contradicts many things that active JWs are taught.

    It might be interesting for you to listen to that audio and/or read the transcript. Put the ball back in your mom's court.

    -Aude.

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