The JW religion has just cost me my marriage & my family life

by jambon1 44 Replies latest jw friends

  • DesirousOfChange
    DesirousOfChange

    I think I would concentrate on using their own Bible:

    *** Bible Citations ***
    (Malachi 2:16) For I hate divorce,” says Jehovah the God of Israel,

    (Matthew 5:32) However, I say to you that everyone divorcing his wife, except on account of sexual immorality, makes her a subject for adultery,

    (Matthew 19:9) 9 I say to you that whoever divorces his wife, except on the grounds of sexual immorality, and marries another commits adultery.”

    *** w12 5/15 p. 9 Take a Positive View of a Strained Marriage ***
    WHEN MARITAL BONDS ARE THREATENED
    5 Those who experience heartache in the marital relationship may wonder: ‘Is my unhappy marriage really worth saving? If only I could turn back the clock and begin again with another marriage mate!’ They may dream of breaking the bond—‘Oh, to be free again! Why not get a divorce? Even if I cannot get a Scriptural divorce, why not separate and enjoy life again?’ Instead of thinking in those terms or fantasizing about what might have been, Christians should make the best of their current state by seeking God’s guidance and following it.
    6 If a Christian were to get a divorce, he or she may or may not be Scripturally free to get married again. Jesus said: “Whoever divorces his wife, except on the ground of fornication, and marries another commits adultery.” (Matt. 19:9) Here, “fornication” includes adultery and other serious sexual sins. It is vital to weigh prayerfully any thought of divorce when neither mate has been guilty of sexual immorality.

    *** w08 11/1 p. 13 Do Jehovah’s Witnesses Break Up Marriages? ***
    Jehovah’s Witnesses hold to Jesus’ view that adultery provides grounds for divorce. But they also strongly believe that marriages should not be dissolved for trivial reasons. They encourage their members to abide by Jesus’ words: “A man will leave his father and his mother and will stick to his wife, and the two will be one flesh. . . . Therefore, what God has yoked together let no man put apart.”—Matthew 19:5, 6.

    *** w07 5/1 p. 19 par. 3 Do Not Put Apart What God Has Yoked Together ***
    3 In the modern world, when some couples encounter problems, their first reaction is to end the marriage. In many lands, divorce rates are spiraling out of control. However, true Christians handle problems rather than run from them. Why? Because they view marriage as a sacred gift from Jehovah. Jesus said regarding married couples: “What God has yoked together let no man put apart.” (Matthew 19:6) Granted, living by that standard is not always easy. For instance, relatives and others—including some marriage counselors—who do not recognize Bible principles often encourage couples to separate or divorce on unscriptural grounds. But Christians know that it is far better to repair and maintain a marriage than to dissolve it hastily. Indeed, it is vital that at the outset we resolve to do things Jehovah’s way—not according to the counsel of others.

    If you have been faithful in your marriage, the fact that you are no longer a "believer" does not constitute grounds for breaking the marriage. Obviously, the unselfish thing for both of you to do, is to ensure that your children have BOTH "good parents" to raise them.

    Good luck,

    Doc

  • goingthruthemotions
    goingthruthemotions

    I am so sorry to hear this....my wife is also very blind. I don't even bring anything BORG up. I truely hate this cult and what it does to people.

    My kids hate it and so do I....i feel if i push the enevelope it will cause us to break up or maybe not. I am not willing to go there.

    we have been going to less and less meetings...YAHOO!!!!. she doesn't say much about it and we don't go out on field circus. very rarely. she is a stay at home mom and if she really wanted to she could go out everyday. it seems like she makes up excuses not to and i don't question her about it. just leave it alone.

    i just wish it would go away.....good luck to you and take it one day at a time.

  • Viviane
    Viviane
    Welcome to the club. Well, there is no club, but we should start one.
  • goingthruthemotions
    goingthruthemotions
    i agree, we should start a club....a support group for spouses with spouses that are a sleep to the cult.
  • iwasblind
    iwasblind
    What could I have done differently? Well, that's a hard one.
    I couldn't bear the divide in my marriage any longer. My wife refused over a period of ten years to look into one single issue that I had investigated and found to be corrupt, untrue or morally wrong. Not one thing. I found that very difficult to accept. I always thought that she might have a 'lighbulb moment' over matters like disfellowshipping or blood as she is devoted to her children. I always held a bit of hope that she would perhaps mentally leave the religion one day. I was wrong.

    Hi Jambon

    Totally heartbroken to hear this and the other stories of broken marriages due to this thing. Good people are being hurt.

    As I read this something jumped inside of me, and it has been plaguing me for some time on this forum. I have seen tonnes of videos on how to "witness" to a witness but I too have not found it easy to open peoples eyes.

    I think they are missing something (great intentions though) which led me to an idea.

    Just a disclaimer first - what I say is not a judgement on what anyone should have done or has not done and also I am coming at this from the scriptural angle.

    I have found that when we argue over doctrine, translation, even GB conduct - the "victim" cannot accept it fully. In their mind "this is the truth" - these things we argue about are some sort of aberation, lie from Satan, lie from mentally diseased apostates, etc - it can't be true because "we have the truth". Know what I mean?

    Infact arguing over doctrine accomplishes nothing i.e- I could have a two hour conversation about the Cross / Stake discuss the greek, how the GB have misquoted scripture, etc. In all that nothing would be accomplished and you actually lose the "meaning" of what the cross meant.

    Another thing is, the person cannot distinguish Jah from the WTBS, in their mind they are the same. They do not even equate Jesus in there. This is the biggest crime that they have replaced Jesus with this ridiculous notion of FDS. This is where we start.

    Here is my idea and it is based on one scripture - 2 Cor 4:14-16, read it not in NWT. Basically when you turn them to Jesus the veil will be lifted. It is hard to put it all in writing and I know I will get hammered from the doubters, but that is ok

    So as a husband with a JW wife (will get to the wives), when you find Jesus for real it will change you, your peace, your prayers. No doctrinal debates, just great teaching on Jesus (we have hours of stuff you can use from the NWT that you can use - no translatonal debates). She will see the Lord in you fall in love with him and the veil will rise. You can control this process by your actions.

    With a wife of JW husband, the process is similar, but you are not able to control when he falls in love with the Lord as much - but for men - I found instead of struggling to "imitate" him, when I would let him dwell in me, this had a profound effect.

    SO HERE IS WHAT I PROPOSE - I really want to help - as a tester we form a group of 3/4 people and work on stuff to say and do based on the principle at 2 Cor. We tweak and refine. I can supply the bible info, really great stuff I have found outside the borg that we can use the NWT with so no red flags are raise. We compare notes, meet regularly and see. If we crack it we could help save a lot of marriages in this horrible predicament. We can report our endeavours back to this group of wonderful people here.

    Also, you will find the beautiful Lord I did not know for 40 years.

    Anyway, it was a thought PM me if you are interest in throwing around this idea.

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