Im new and need help!

by Batman89 47 Replies latest jw experiences

  • Ding
    Ding

    Think about what it would be like having to decide how to handle children.

    Would they be raised in the WT or not?

    What about blood transfusions should they be necessary?

    I hope your girlfriends wakes up to TTATT, but if not, my advice would be to find someone else.

  • villagegirl
    villagegirl

    Also - may I add- one conversation, may only make a slight impression on her.

    Later when she is alone she may ponder what you have told her, the fact she suggested

    instantly that you "take a break" is a huge red flag. She may do be able to look rationally

    at what she believes and she may think the magical eight men are standing in a golden light

    guiding her safely through life. She worships the eight men and the "organization" but cannot

    see this for herself. Thats what being a witness really is.

  • Quarterback
    Quarterback

    I saw a show this week on Dr Phill. Even he thinks that a successfull marriage depends on being in the same religion with one another.

  • humbled
    humbled

    If she stays in and you know it's basically BS, you have unending heartache for sure. You'll have tension that will follow you to the bedroom and to the lives of children and who become friends. You will have problems going on vacations that you can agree on. Problems, problems problems.

    Religion that demands full loyalty from her will break your heart. You want to give all your heart? How much is she allowed to give?

    The convention program says marriage, family are below "Jehovah".

    Think about it, Batman.

  • never a jw
    never a jw

    You are young. Don't commit to this relationship unless she is out too. It won't work. Your learning the TTATT reduces your chances of being in a happy relationship with a commited JW.

  • Magnum
    Magnum

    Hi - I'm very curious about your parents. What led them to awaken? Did it happen suddenly or gradually? Please, without identifying them, provide some details. What are some things that bother them about JWs and/or the org? Is it teachings? Organizational policy? Hypocrisy? Deception? Failed predictions? General dumbing down? Boring meetings?

    I'm really wondering what the future holds for JWs and the org. I often wonder how many others recognize the negative things my wife & recognize. So it would give me some insight to have some details about your parents.

  • Crazyguy
    Crazyguy

    Run away, I know its hard to hear but true. The Girl may be brainwashed and there's no helping her to see things properly. It will make your relationship very hard in the future. The bible talks about not being unevenly yoked because it doesn't work.

  • ABibleStudent
    ABibleStudent

    Batman89 - She told me that although she could see some of my ponts of view(TTATT) and some things made sense, of course the JW life is the life she wants to live and that we should take a break while I ultimately "figure things out".

    Welcome Batman89, DITTO about what other posters wrote about take a break from your GF and start living your life. Your GF basically gave you an ultimatum to either blindly follow the WTBTS or leave her alone. It is too late to give you advice to help your GF to critically think for herself.

    Make/execute your plans to fade from the WTBTS without your GF. What education or skills do you possess to qualify for a well paying career? If you want to get more education/training do it! Attending a college/university is a great way to meet more non-JWs as well as obtain an education to qualify for a better paying career. Be happy that you are able to maintain your relationship with your parents.

    May be in the future your GF will change her mind. If she does, take it one step at a time.

    Peace be with you and everyone, who you love,

    Robert

  • Batman89
    Batman89

    Hi - I'm very curious about your parents. What led them to awaken? Did it happen suddenly or gradually? Please, without identifying them, provide some details. What are some things that bother them about JWs and/or the org? Is it teachings? Organizational policy? Hypocrisy? Deception? Failed predictions? General dumbing down? Boring meetings?

    I'm really wondering what the future holds for JWs and the org. I often wonder how many others recognize the negative things my wife & recognize. So it would give me some insight to have some details about your parents.

    Well it first started when my mom wasnt really interested in going to meetings as much because she felt it was the same boring lessons over and over again

    The straw that broke the camels back was when my father was deleted as an elder because of the hypocrisy, lies and false accusations of the elder body. In my previous relationship, before the one im currently in, it had come to the attention of the elders that me and my ex would occasionally ride in the same car together to go on dates. Since at the time I still lived in the same house as my parents the other elders decided that my fathers qualifications "were in question"(stupidest thing i ever heard in my entire life on earth) and he had a "lapse in judgement" for letting us(two grown adults) ride in the car together. It hurt my dad deeply at the time how they(so called good friends) treated him so coldly, so much so that he could never return to the hall. Shortly after that my parents did research and the rest is history

  • OnTheWayOut
    OnTheWayOut

    You're out mentally and she's in mentally. You're on your way out physically, she's on her way in. Do the math. She said take a break, so take one. See if she wanted a theocratic robot man or you. Don't go to another meeting. Dont talk about it at all. Let her see what life is like on the outside and if she thinks that's what she wants with you. Let it play out but dont pretend because you are fooling, not her, but yourself.

    I agree with Wasanelder Once on this. But I am going to answer with the part you most want/need to hear. Your objection is "BUT WE ARE IN LOVE." Great. Don't date anyone else for (say) up to a year. Show your great love after that if she hasn't come the least bit around by letting her go.

    You definitely do not want to play the JW game or be a "spiritual head." You definitely do not want her making your babies and then dragging them to the Kingdom Hall.

    Once the cat is out of the bag, you really need an exit plan and not a plan to stick around for a lifetime if it will make someone else happy.

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