I'm gay myself. I left because I was done with school and thus it wouldn't hurt me to make my exit, although I was already mentally out for a year. I couldn't be myself and felt like a hypocrite trying to convert others. Once I realized the full-extent of the hypocrisy, I couldn't do field service for one more day. My parents and my sister hate my guts, and don't even tell me when family members die. I've since graduated, got a job, got a car, and got myself a place of my own, which so happens to be right across the street from the building my parents are in.
Any gay exJW's?
by Trapped in JW land 59 Replies latest jw friends
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monis1
i got in contact with a girl i used to study with. she is a lesbian, and is very happy to now be able to be her authentic self. even her jw parents have accepted her for who she is. she is not on this forum, though
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Heartofaboy
The JW's said I should get married as they'd heard of other men that changed & are now happily married.
I tried to be hetero, got engage 'n all but I knew the wedding night would be a disaster (no trying it out before marriage allowed)
Big ole J would've let me walk into whole heap of trouble if I'd done as the elders said.
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mouthy
krejames!!!! Good for you!!! thanks for sharing!!! My granddaughter is lesbian,They are alowed to marry here
& they did get married ( I went to the wedding.) they have adopted a sweet little girl. Seem to be very happy...The way I feel is we only have 1 judge & it "aint" the Watchtower.So I leave EVERYTHING up to MY God.
Jesus Christ. "The way we are judging is the way WE will be judged "
Thanks again for sharing.it warmed my heart.!!!! -
fulltimestudent
Heartofaboy
The JW's said I should get married as they'd heard of other men that changed & are now happily married.
I tried to be hetero, got engage 'n all but I knew the wedding night would be a disaster (no trying it out before marriage allowed)
Big ole J would've let me walk into whole heap of trouble if I'd done as the elders said.
You're so right! My friend was 'one of those that thought he was changed. But all he had done was suppressed his natural feelings. In bed his marriage was a failure. His wife was frustrated and depressed. I cannot understand those Christians (whether the Jw brand or some other brand) who will advocate that gay men and women should just get married and it will be OK. What absolute bullshit! It is usually not OK, and on the various web-sites that recount the experiences of gay women and men that have tried it are a multitude of stories that tell of the hurt and sadness that result, from the sexually disappointed partners, to the kids who lose a parent.
I bet none of the jws who said to just get married and you'd be OK, would have volunteered their own daughters.
So hang in there, guys and girls - better days are coming:
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GrreatTeacher
I loved the magic red lava lamp!
Good film clip. Exchange one of the guys for a girl and its a love story that anyone could relate to.
So, really, even with 2 guys everybody should be able to relate to it.
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eyeuse2badub
I'm gray! But I'm also 67 yo and I should be gray, right?
just saying!
eyeuse2badub
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krejames
Wow TrappedInJWLand - so many great comments on here - hope you can now feel at least a little comforted that you are not alone in this!
(PS to Mouthy - thanks and so pleased for your granddaughter. How cool that she has you as a grandma! And HeartofABoy, yes I guess most of our stories are fundamentally the same! Warm hug to you.)
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fulltimestudent
GrreatTeacher:
Good film clip. Exchange one of the guys for a girl and its a love story that anyone could relate to.
So, really, even with 2 guys everybody should be able to relate to it.
Thnx for saying so GT. Not always sure how anything showing the 'other side' of a problem will be seen by everyone.
One very interesting scene in the film, provides some insights into homophobia. That's the scene where the two boys meet again under the overhead road. Remember how one starts swearing at the other and punching into him. We could see that as the way that homophobia starts and becomes internalised and eventually takes over the whole outlook of the subject.
I'm not suggesting that all homophobes have had problematical love affairs with another man, but merely that a lot of research into homophobia indicates that many, many homophobes may be gay themselves and unable to deal with their secret attraction to other males. (There seem to be more male homophobes than female).
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ParadiseCircus
Hey Trapped, I'm a gay ex-jw too. I'm 27 and not out to my family yet but as far as the meetings go I moved away from home and kinda just faded. Missed the Memorial for the first time ever yesterday. Felt good. Despite being mentally out there's still all the baggage that comes from being brought up in it and having your family in. Sucks but you'll find your way. We all do eventually.