My parents shunned me when i was DF'ed. When i got RI'ed they started talking to me again. When i got divorced & stopped going to meetings they shunned me again. Then after years of shunning, they have contacted me wanting a relationship with me. What gives....? l have been with my bf for 8 years, ( now hes my fiance) he has never met my parents. l am living with him " in sin" but that doesn't seem to bother them. They are actively persuing a relationship with me, me i'm more cautious. Don't trust them to not go all JW again. They were fanatical JW's. My dad has a severe mental illness, growing up was hell. Now he's trying to make up for what he put me through, apologising & said he was a 'cretin' of a father. I'm wondering as they are getting on in years they see things differently. Family more important? He told me that i'm the only one willing to talk to him, my brother & sister refused to have anything to do with him. My brother went as far as saying to my mum, "if u don't leave that man ( dad) u won't see the grandkids again". And as far as i know my brother & sister are still involved with the religion. I don't have anything to do with my bro & sis, not to do with religion, just a very dysfunctional unloving family. My father said he would love for me to come & stay with them, (shock). For the first time in nearly 40 years mum & dad tell me they love me everytime they talk to me! Give a nervous little laugh when they say that, so alien to me. Maybe when i stopped going to meetings i ceased to exist for the JW's, never heard from anyone in the cong from the day i left, so haven't been DFed or DAed. Never went to mum & dads cong, so maybe they feel it's ok to talk to me as most JW's forgot i exist, & they probably aren't telling anyone in the cong. Also i moved interstate, live in an Aboriginal Community, Australia. Nearest JW over 500ks away. So i consider myself safe from them!
JW parents actively seeking relationship
by Leeca 15 Replies latest jw friends
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Iamallcool
Maybe they are on the way out of the organization, you just never know. Good Luck!
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skeeter1
Maybe one of them has a terminal illness?
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skeeter1
Maybe one of them has a terminal illness?
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Leeca
lamallcool: I'm hoping that they realise it's not what they thought it was. As we don't discuss religion i don't know what they're thinking. Though my dad told me he had a psycotic episode and was going to write to the society DAing himself, but mum talked him out of it. He did get carted off to the nuthouse, not his first trip there. skeeter1: Don't think either has a terminal illness, dad couldn't keep a secret to save himself. But both my parents have health issues. Mum physical, Dad mental.
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JWdaughter
Just say; my situation hasnt changed. i need to undrstand what has changed in you.
put em on the spot-they are reaching out but you need to protect yourself
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ABibleStudent
Hi Leeca, DITTO what JWdaughter wrote. Could your parents' ailments be caused by the WTBTS's BITE control?
If your parents are willing to critically think for themselves by watching Steve Hassan's video Strategic Interactive Approach explained 2003 (1:23:23) and then continue to love you unconditionally to improve your relationship with them, I would take it one step at a time. If not, protect yourself.
Peace be with you and everyone, who you love,
Robert
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sir82
Hate to sound cynical, but maybe they are in need of money and the "loving brotherhood" is rather tighf-isted.
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villagegirl
Leeca - I do not know you or your parents, but consider this,
If they never sexually abused you, and never starved you, or beat you
and if their dysfunction was all Watchtower based spiritual abuse, they
may have come to some enlightenment. Are you able to just ask them outright
if they still believe the Watchtower and do they still believe eight men have
some magical connection to channel God's will ? You be the one setting conditions.
Tell them clearly you have chosen another spiritual path. They are your parents.
Seeing them under a controlled condition, with your partner there, might be possible
and safe for you. Forgiveness and love are possible. Honoring your parents is
a moral and decent thing to do and merciful. Mercy is always the generous and
peaceful path if you can extend it in sincerity, you may find a reward and peace in it.
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Leeca
Dad was both physically & mentally abusive. I know he feels alot of guilt over the things he said & done. I told him i forgave him, he actually cried. My mum was in tears when i told her i don't blame her as she was beating herself up over not protecting me & standing up to dad when he was being abusive. Most of dads side of the family are mentally ill & dysfunctional. Dad was ill befor he came into the "truth". But i believe the religion fed his illness. I have told them i believe it's a cult & i will never go back. They said they respected that position. My daughter told me nanna & pop were preaching to them. I saw red & told my parents they are not to talk to them about the religion at all. My daughter was about 18 at the time, not interested but i wanted to be sure that she stays not interested. Given they know my stance i am confused why they decided to talk to me, but i'm taking it slowly. Haven't asked them why they have changed their minds about talking to me, just taking it at face value at the moment. I don't think its about money, i think they're lonely as they have no relationship with their adult children. My dad tried to top himself recently ( he's tried on a few occassions), he said he was going write a txt to my brother & sister asking if they will have contact with him. Personally l didn't think that good idea as he just got out of the psch ward. If they said no, it might send him off on another psychotic episode.