First Encounter With a Person From My Congregation Since We D-A'd

by Iown Mylife 13 Replies latest jw experiences

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  Iown Mylife

  It went well. An older sister saw me in the store and called out to me. She's a widow; her husband was an elder. I have not seen her for at least five years. She smiled and asked how we're all doing. I said Listen, you don't want to be talking to me. She said, Why, what's wrong? I said Nothing is wrong, at least as far as I'm concerned, but just to be honest with you, I'm OUT.

  She said, "Well, I didn't know that - I'll be waiting to see you come back." I said, Thank you, but I won't be coming back. She turned and took a step away from me before I finished speaking.

  But I was so happy. I have had that appeasing, tip toe-ing on eggshells fear of offending JWs for years and have kind of dreaded running in to any of them. Today when I saw her, I just felt confident and calm, as if I was giving the time of day!

  It is fun and relaxing to feel so free to be myself!

  Marina
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  Spectre

  It's funny how they just assume that you're going to come back. And why wouldn't you since you know it's "the truth"?
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  Crazyguy

  I wouldn't tell them a thing just talk like humans, if it comes up then say I learned the truth about the religion and quit.
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  Iown Mylife

  I really liked letting her know that i am out of reach of her lectures and advice that I never asked for. These sisters think they have a bounden duty to jump with both hooves into anything you say that they can use for "teaching and reproving." They really think that shows God how loving they are but it's a gigantic pain.

  Marina
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  Band on the Run

  I had a casual encounter with two sister the other day. They were ready to take me to KH after I said I was out and happy. Cult.
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  OnTheWayOut

  Hey, that's great. I tell you what. If I have such encounters (I have but they are rare and getting very rare) I don't tell them they shouldn't talk to me. I don't lead with "I am out." It may not come up at all. I have a good conversation and only mention I am not attending meetings when asked about my circumstances.
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  Iown Mylife

  In service I've heard these conversations when someone starts out, "Guess who I ran into yesterday - So and So!"

  Someone else pipes up, "Oh, you're kidding! I'm pretty sure she's disf/disassoc!"

  The first person says, "Well she never mentioned it - I can't believe she would stand there talking to me and not let me know that!"

  Then everyone chimes in: No WONDER she got disf - what a terrible person! OH she's probably longing to talk to a JW, she didn't want you to shun her! ---etc.

  I know it's nobody's business what my history and choices are and I don't have to be defined by their rules. But with these people you won't have a normal conversation because all they can think of to talk about is their religion. There is no doubt they will bring it up because they won't bring ANYTHING else up. LOL!

  Marina
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  confusedandalone

  I ran into a few. The first thing I say is I am da... I dont want to guide anyone out I dont want to talk to anyone about bible crap.

  I am sick of religion and trying to Convince people. Congrats to you. Live your life
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  ABibleStudent

  Congratulations to you, Iown Mylife! I wish you the best!

  Peace be with you and everyone, who you love,

  Robert
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  blondie

  The gossip mill on DAs and DF's doesn't work like it used to when they were announced in every local congregation (8 when I was growing up) sometimes announced in every congregation in the circuit. But that became legally infeasible. They used to announced specifically your crime: e.g., adultery, fornication, smoking.

  That's why when you are inactive you can be treated as da'd or df'd because they are not sure of your status. There are some jws that know you are only inactive but still treat you as df'd because they have no idea what you have been doing and hiding. So to be safe some deal with as if you had something catching like leprosy.

  As to talking about coming back or how wonderful it is to be a jw, I have had jws do that that I knew complained about many things, elders, teachings, their unloving jw family but then when you leave it is so wonderful and you know their negative viewpoint still persists.

  So don't be surprised that jws you meet put up a barrier, a happy pretense.

  Blondie