question for JW's

by JohnZogby 16 Replies latest jw friends

• 

  Nathan Natas

  Hi John,

  Ask your awesome friend to tell you about how he expects - no - PRAYS FOR the destruction of more than 90% of the people on earth, including you.

  Your JW friend believes that since the year 1914 we have been living in "the time of the end," and that real soon now, god will bring the Battle of Armageddon to cleanse the earth of wickedness. Armageddon will not be a war between nations, but a supernatural event directed by God. Billions now living will be toast according to JW theology.

  It's called "THE GOOD NEWS."

  If he is really your friend he'll be a little uncomfortable and will try to waffle and evade your question. Persevere! Ask him WHO will be saved, and WHAT you must do to live through the battle of Armageddon.

  If he tells you that other religious people will survive Armageddon, do him a favor - ask him WHY then he chooses to be a JW, if they don't have an exclusive on salvation. You may just save his life.
• 

  concerned mama

  Hi John,
  Welcome to the board. I am not JW, either. My teenage daughter has a 15 year old JW boyfriend. He is in a similar situation to your friend. He has JW friends, and school friends. He very rarely sees the school friends (or my daughter, for that matter) outside of school. At school, he is well known, athletic,and well liked but avoids letting anyone know he is Jehovah's Witness, if he can. He makes excuses why he can't do things with other kids, and someone in the know quietly explains why if the asker is puzzled. He isn't very devout, but has strict parents. I would say that he leads a double life, and it is getting more and more stressful for him.

  Just being a good friend is the kindest thing you can do for your friend. If he wants to step away from the JWs, you will be there for him. At this point in time, he may not have the intellectual curiosity or the freedom to look critically at his religion. He may never want to. If he, someday, must end your friendship, so be it, it is his choice and his loss. Sad, but there's not a thing you can do about it.
• 

  JohnZogby

  My friend seems to be very similar to your daughters bf. The thing with my friend is that he knows he is living a double life, and he feels bad about it. He tells me that he is sorry that he cant introduce me to his JW friends, and that he cant really hang out with me outside of school. I dont know if admitimg this to me is normal JW behavior.
• 

  concerned mama

  John,
  Yes it does sound similar. My daughter's bf does wish he could see more of her, and some other friends, and will say so. He would sneak around to see more of her, but she tells him not to, as she doesn't want him to get in trouble and her to look bad in his parent's eyes for being the cause of it. Yet, in some ways he accepts his double life as completely normal and doesn't question that most people see their school friends outside of school as well. I guess it is what he has known his whole life.
• 

  singsongboi

  john,

  your friend may need you also...

  so if you can hang in there for him, while keep your cool in a religious sense, it may be something that he will deeply appreciate in years to come.

  please appreciate that the religious training he has been getting is designed to make him feel guilty even about having you as a friend.

  he sems to ahve made his mind up to keep you as a friedn, even tho his religion pressures him not to...

  i suspect that, at some point not too far way...he may have a great inner conflict -- a conflict so great that it could permanently damage him emotionally..

  to have you as a friend then could be veri stablising for him!!!
• 

  miner

  John, one of my best friends is much like the friend you were telling about. He is a JW, attends most of the meetings and does his preaching as required. He has been 'counseled' about being friends with the world (hi, I'm the world, it's nice to meet you). Although I think he is beginning to see problems in his church, he doesn't want to discuss them yet. I'm trying to let him know that our friendship is unconditional and praying that God will give him the wisdom to see the inconsistencies and the courage to walk away. I suspect your friend enjoys your friendship because he can relax and be himself without having to play the part of a good Jehovah's Witness. May God give you patience!
• 

  concerned mama

  John,
  All of these posters make good points. At the risk of pulling this thread off topic a bit, I want to point out that you will hear a lot about unconditional love and friendship on this forum. As far as friendship goes that is a good thing, but I really wish my daughter and her bf would break up. They are far too serious for their age, and the cultural differences just create problems, and he would still be all conflicted even if he left his religion. Can you tell it is a long time since I was 15? lol

  So many here have talked about how difficult it was when they left the JW, and some of it had to do with the lack of "outside" friends, and the inabliity to form relationships with worldly people. You obviously care a great deal for this person, so just be a good friend, and someday you may have made a bigger difference in his life than you would have expected.

  Do you know if your friend has been baptised? That may be a turning point in your friendship. There would be a lot more expected of him as far as following the letter of the law, if he was baptised.