Had an argument with my wife about tinkerbell :(

by BU2B 57 Replies latest jw experiences

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  BU2B

  the blanket is still in limbo. I think she got more than a little embarrassed when I told her I was taking it back to my co worker and telling her what she said about it. GOOD! that shows deep down she knows how rediculous it is. By the way to took her to see Beauty and the beast in Missasauga a few weeks ago since she said she loved the movie and she loved the play, which features a magic rose and a magic mirror and a spell. She is a very contradictory person, but then again so is the JW mindset. She really has no answers other than she thinks my daughter will "take things too far". She said she is too young for fairies and to know what is ok and what isn't. I said we'll draw the line, but she already did so it was a circular argument. Maybe jgnat is right.. Maybe she is just looking to make a stand on something (as if birthdays,holidays, etc aren't enough) she said " I'm just trying to teach her something!" I can't figure out what that means and she wouldn't explain.. She just got pissed off.

  she kept contradicting herself. I told her to stop saying jehovah dosent like this or that when in reality it is you who doesn't. She then claimed to know he does not like tinkerbell. I asked, if Jehovah hates something, why pass it along to another unsuspecting child. She couldnt explain how she knew what jehovah likes and does not like. Maybe the same way as the GB does? Delusion?

  This coming from a woman that when we were discussing legalism vs Christian freedom told me that that's where you and me differ. " I'f I was in charge I would make more rules". She is no Christian. She does have good points though and believe it or not I have looseNed her up considerably since we got married. The scary part is what lies ahead. If my daughter wants to play sports, after school activities ect, I WILL EXCERCISE MY ROLE AS FAMILY HEAD IN JW LAND AND SIGN TGE PAPERWORK! I WILL ENCOURAGE COLLEGE AND A COMFORTABLE LIFE! Fireworks ahead! But that's better than her having the shitty childhood I had. I will not knowingly subject her to it, even though it will likely mean the breakdown of the marriage relatio ship. I can defer to others only so long.
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  jgnat

  Here's an idea. Might you ask her some leading questions about how a child grows up to be moral? Is it from the teachings from the parent or is it more from their example? For instance, how does she plan on teaching your daughter not to steal? The lesson for the parent is that a big part of what a child is comes from what they see their parents do. A rather humbling experience is to listen in on a child at play, hearing them use the same expressions, same tone, same pat phrases that you are guilty of.

  I sense some insecurity on the mom's part about how successful she is as a parent. Maybe point out some good things your daughter is doing of how GOOD the two of you are doing.
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  BU2B

  Dd, I have thought about taking the opposite approach and using my headship under their own rules to restrict what is being watched. She watches some show called bring it, which is dance teams of young girls making stripperesque dance moves. She also watches that real housewives diva crap. (Not with kids around though). That may be getting deleted off of the dvr. Maybe I need to become harscore dub, everything I say will be praising the FDS, start outlawing tv shows and movies, restricting her clothes ie. those pants are too tight, why are you wearing leggings in public etc. maybe forcing her to be the liberal one will cause her to see how stupid it all is. Just don't know If I have it in me, but it may be my last card to play. Maybe I should make her wear skirts in public and if she refuses, bring her before the elders for not listening obeying and being blessed lol. N just don't know if I havrhthe stomach to carry in that way for more than a day.
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  rip van winkle

  BU2B,

  Maybe you subconsciously wanted a confrontation with your wife; Why else would you leave a tinkerbell blanket for your daughter to see??

  Don't remember who, but, someone from the exjw FB group went to see Frozen and her mom freaked out after a few minutes because she said it was " magic"

  In my comments, I also mentioned: Cinderella, Snow White, Sleeping Beauty, Pinnocchio, and The Wizard of Oz. I fail to see the difference.

  It's sorta funny how a Bethelite told me there IS a difference between fantasy and magic when I asked her about the above movies and Sparlock.

  Sparlock was a toy and DIDN'T REALLY HAVE magical powers.

  Mind controlled Watch Towerian reasoning.

  Movie Magic -It IS ALL FANTASY!!
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  OUTLAW

  ..............................

  .....................Satan The Tinkerbell.............................WBT$ Tinkerbell Haters..

  .........................

  .............................................................. ...OUTLAW
• 

  Laika

  "For instance, how does she plan on teaching your daughter not to steal?"

  There's a Caleb video on that. 'Don't steal or Jehovah won't want to be your friend.' is the message.
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  jgnat

  You are not going to discover the most cooperative wife when she's in full confrontation mode. I DO NOT recommend the extreme approach, trying to show her how insane the hard-core approach is. I suggest you appeal to her natural personality that is begging for release behind the cult shell.

  So when things are calmed down, have another talk about the ultimate goal here. Do you want an intelligent, kind, helpful daughter with a strong sense of right and wrong? Do you want her sneaking behind your backs when she is a teenager because your rules are so ridiculous? I'd poke gentle fun at the whole "take a stand" thing. Suggest she pick a more "winning" stand next time. For instance, take a stand against axe murderers and green lipstick.
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  jgnat

  Ick, Laika. That's so backwards. We don't do things so our parents/God aren't sad. That's passive-aggressive parenting. We consider others and the harm/injury that it does to them.
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  jgnat

  rip, I don't see anything subliminal in this confrontation. The blanket was a gift. There's no controlling what comes out of a toddler's mouth, and when they choose to blurt it out.
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  Vidiot

  BU2B - "This coming from a woman that when we were discussing legalism vs Christian freedom told me 'that that's where you and me differ. If I was in charge I would make more rules'."

  Isn't that what Jesus denounced the Pharisees for doing?