What I really hate....

by Perversion of a truth 23 Replies latest jw friends

• 

  Imminent1975

  Hey Perversion of Truth, I feel you pain, (as Clinton said) and I understand. I was about 36 when I started having "anxiety" close to an 'attack". However, It was because of my workload combined with my father dying. When I learned TTATT it seemed my whole world (faith) fell apart in a matter of hours. At this point I was already on anti-depression medicine and anxiety medication as needed, but, I felt overwhelmed when aware of TTATT.

  I can't tell you what will work, you most likely do Not have a problem with your heart, you need to relax, but that's hard to do if you can't go yet to the doctor and let him tell you your ok.

  There are some natural relaxant herbs that are sold locally, I found they help. I am confident to say that you will successfully navigate through this difficult time period, please be confident that you can and will. Also, remember that it is just like a storm passing through, what you are feeling is not permanent. It does take some time to mentally process everything, and that's why we are here. I've known the TTATT for about 5-6 years and I've noticed that just now am I accepting and doing ok with the deception.

  I might also suggest that you personally visit with a psychologist that has experience with anxiety and someone that you can openly talk to about TTATT.

  I know it is so disappointing, but you can make it through.
• 

  justmom

  Hello perversion of the truth.....

  I am so sorry that anxiety is overwhelming you. Although you are correct in that the WTBS is a cult and they have lied about just about everything, twisting the scriptures to their own meanings / there fore destruction , but my question is how is it that you have come to the conclusion that " this life is ALL there is." That there is NOTHING beyond this life. Although the WTBS has lied to you about the understanding of the future, there still IS a future my brother. One that our Lord has promised to those that put faith IN him!

  Don't give up your faith in HIM. Just give up your faith in that wicked organization.

  Peace and love to you Kim.
• 

  Pete Zahut

  If you have a glass of wine and your symptoms are relieved or dissappear, you most likely have anxiety not heart problems. Same goes with physical activity such as exercise, if these things help you feel better, it's most likely anxiety.

  It's unlikely at your age and after having being checked thoroughly a year a go, that you could have developed a serious heart condition. If you are determined not to visit a doctor, (not a good idea) you can take your own pulse and you can check your blood pressure at the pharmacy. Do a Google search to see what your readings should be.

  Like the rest of us, you are having to come to grips with your own mortality all at once instead of little by little over your lifetime like everyone else in the world does . You havent developed the coping skills for this because like a drug addict, your religious beliefs numbed you from the reality you wanted to avoid. Trust me, you will come to terms with it and it will be a releif not to have the issue of eternal life and whether you deserve it or not, hanging over you. If I can do it, so can you . A few years ago I suffered terribly and would never have beleived I could have progressed this far so fast. I wish I'd have seen this forum during that time, much of my suffering would have been eliminated.

  If you want, you can PM me and I'll send you my phone number and I'll talk to you by phone if you think that would help. (west coast U.S.)

  Our feelings are caused by thoughts and our feelings are only as real as we let them be. Right now I want you to just trust that in time you will be able to handle the unpleasant sensations of anxiety. Don't run from them...turn and face them and the Lion that they seem like now, will shrink down to the size of a mouse.
• 

  LisaRose

  I recommend meditation. It's free, easy and the effects are immediate.

  I suggest getting a book, or doing an internet search to get started, but here is a quickie fix:

  Close your eyes, open your mouth slightly. Breath in through your nose for eight seconds (say one thousand one, one thousand two, etc), hold your breath for eight seconds, slowly breath out through your mouth.

  Repeat this several times until you feel better. You would be surprised how effective this is at reducing anxiety.

  I meditate every day, it's part of a good wellness routine. Meditation lowers blood pressure and has many other health benefits. Your issues are just your brain going into overdrive, it can be fixed, when you get benefits seek the help you need to get well.

  Another quick fix is to take a few Benedryl (allergy medication), it has a mild sedative effect and can be taken at bedtime to help you sleep or anytime you feel anxious. It's not habit forming, but does not take the place of therapy and a permanent solution, but can help you get over this rough patch until you get benefits.

  Take care, I hope you find healing and peace, it can be done.
• 

  LV101

  Lisa - did you have to invest in 'meditation' tapes? What book do you suggest. Thanks for your info.

  I also heard from a reliable source that Dramamine helps one relax and sleep. Some allergy medication like Benedryl hypes/wires certain individuals. I know a couple of people who take the Dramamine with insomnia because they have negative effects of OTC sleeping aids. I also know people who swear by Benedryl when they have a terrible cold or cough and need to sleep.

  I don't know personally but Draminine, like Benedryl, is not addictive. Benedryl wired me yrs. ago when I had an allergic reaction but it knocks most people out.

  Perversion - looks like there's some good advice on your topic - a good book is, "Hope and Help for your Nerves," by Dr. Claire Weeks, I believe. It's been around a long time. I think she was one of the pioneers in the field - I'm sure there's many today but that one was very good - really helped a couple of people I know.
• 

  LisaRose

  No, you do not have to invest in meditation tapes. You could probably find something at the library. There are many different ways to meditate, they all work.

  My version is pretty simple. Get comfortable, pick a time when you are alone. Start breathing in slowly through the nose and out through the mouth. Think about your body, working from the feet up. If you feel any tension in your feet, then try to relax them, then move up your body until you feel all your muscles are relaxed. Try to imagine a peaceful scene, for me it is the beach. I close my mind and imagine I am at the beach. Keep breathing in slowly through the nose and out through the mouth. The breaths should be deep, slow breaths. I visualize the beach, the waves, the sand, the way the sand looks as the waves recede. I think about the sound, the smell of the salt water. If thoughts intrude, I dismiss them and go back to visualizing the ocean. In my imagination, there are people, but they are far away, I see the sun beginning to set.

  All this time, keep breathing. This will be hard at first, your busy brain will keep intruding. Don't get discouraged, it takes time and practice to get good at meditating. Start with five minutes, it will seem like forever! But the benefits are there from the get go, the longer you do it, the better you get. At first you may have weird, vivid dreams. I think that is your subconscious, it's been waiting to tell you a few things, lol. This effect goes away after a while. Keep increasing the time, until you feel you are getting the most benefit. I find 20 minutes is about right for me.

  I also use music, it helps me keep my brain in meditative state, I have ADD, so it's a bit harder for me. If you have access to Pandora, type in "meditation by the sea" it's very mellow music, with nature sounds. An added benefit is, the cat likes it and she calms right down, she will come over and curl up and go to sleep near my Kindle. Who knew, cats like music! I found she was crazy for the movie "phantom of the opera", she sat in the back of the TV,c with her head by the speakers for a good part of the movie.

  That's it, there are a million ways to meditate, but this works for me. If I am in a stressful situation I immediate start doing meditation breathing, I find myself calming down and feeling better immediately. My blood pressure dropped 20 points. I find it very useful for dealing with negative emotions, which I am sure all us ex-JWs have.
• 

  Perversion of a truth

  Thank you all kindly for your replys and suggestions. I have tried meditation (wait is this against the JW rules?? lol) and actually Claire Weeks per LV101's recommendation has helped quite dramatically, , I found her stuff awhile ago. I've been meaning to get into a routine of meditation every day as I have heard it works wonders for not only anxiety but for creativity as well (not to mention other benefits). Maybe this bout of anxiety will help me get that routine underway.
  
  I had real bad anxiety around this time last year, , was having some stomach issues and ended up being sick for many months and was thinking I was dying. It took me months to finally get my anxiety under control and to get back to where I was feeling normal again and finding enjoyment in life. I have been doing well for months until recently when my anxiety started to flair up again. Today is actually the first day that I have felt a little better. I have been going on walks/slow jogs for the past 5 days in a row to get my heart rate up and to work at combating this anxiety. I also have some anxiety meds that help take the edge off when I start panicking...
  
  Thank you all again for your replies, I beleive that it has helped me calm down and realize that this is only anxiety and not something more sinister.
  
  BTW, for those who have never had anxiety this bad or haven't experienced it with a friend or family, it really is the worse thing, , especially when it is health anxiety and you feel like you are dying. The anxiety attacks soon become to where you are in a perpetual state of anxiety, always worying and not being able to enjoy anything, , and I mean anything. Nothing seems to take your mind off of your anxiety and the thoughts racing through your mind, and all you feel like doing is just laying in bed all day long. It really has been the worse thing that I have ever experienced and wouldn't wish it on my worse enemy. Fortunately so far this time it hasn't been as bad as last time, , and I hope I hope I hope that I am already on the mend back to normality. Currently I am relaxing in bed (yes I said relaxing lol) sipping on a cup of chamomile tea trying to not think about anything anxiety related. In all honesty the last bout that I had with anxiety which lasted around 6 months, , there is a good chance I may have taken my life if I wasn't so damned afraid of dying, , I was that miserable with no perceived way out... So I guess there are benefits to fearing death.
  
  Thank you all again for your responses, I do very much apprecaite it!!!
  
  Much Love!!
  
  ~Perversion of a Truth~
• 

  quellycatface

  I feel so sorry for you. I suffer from panic/anxiety attacks and you feel awful, I feel dizzy and shaky as if I'm going to pass out.

  I'm not afraid of dying. I do believe there is something more but can't tell you what.

  I think LisaRose has a great handle on it. I aspire to that woman!! Breathing and physical activity really help. I clean my house like mad when I feel an attack coming on!! Or blitz the office filing!!

  Take care now.
• 

  villagegirl

  Perversion of aTruth - Try to understand it is not ALL or NOTHING. That is typical

  addict thinking. Don't over value what you heard at the Kingdom Hall, or read in the

  Watchtower or heard spoken to you by authority figures. They are just people.

  There IS no "faithful and discreet slave" as you were taught, no mysterious

  "governing body" No single answer to anything.

  This forum tends to be argumentative.

  There are attackers who think everything is "win-lose".

  Many on this forum are athiests and mock all beliefs and all

  ideas about God in any form. They are extremists and overreacting to having been a

  Jehovah's Witness and now are determined to smash all ideas of God in general.

  They lack imagination and advanced education, but present themselves as scientists.

  Some here, think science disproves God.

  Because they are half educated and still retain the need to have all the answers

  like when they were JW's. The real truth is, in science, in Physics,

  in the known universe, there are unanswered questions about life

  and existance itself. Someone here, takes one biology class

  and thinks they now have all the answers to what life is

  and how it began and how we evolved and they make a leap

  to conclude that proves there is no God. Simplistic thinking.

  Magical conclusions. All or nothing.

  That is the leftover mindset of the Watchtower lock-step mentality

  found in many ex-jw's here on this forum.

  Everything is not all wrapped up neatly with a Disneyland ending.

  By the same right, everything is not explainable by basic biology.

  And evolution does not "disprove" anything it simply demonstrates

  the complexity of all life forms and it certainly does not disprove life after death.

  Just be prepared to start thinking for yourself, exploring what others believe,

  reading, taking classes. Stop mentally clinging to WT ideas. There is no "anointed"

  or magical 144,000 or "two classes", one destined for heaven and one for earth.

  There is no Bibilical proof for any of the major doctrines the witnesses teach.

  Jesus preached unity of all people in a single spiritual body, classles with no regard

  for sex or race or station in life. You will have to re-think everything.

  On your own terms. If you can survive this forum, you can survive anything.
• 

  The Searcher

  Try and start with a clean slate, and put to one side the propaganda that many sources of "teaching" perpetuate.

  Don't believe what ANYONE tells you about God or evolution. Base your knowledge/faith in what your personal search uncovers, and what your own heart and mind tell you harmonises with reason.

  Whether you decide that there is a supernatural creator of everything in existence or that everything was created by a big bang, is your personal choice.

  When I used to have no real knowledge of either choice, I used to tell the guys I worked with, "Just enjoy life as much as you can boys, because this ain't a dress-rehearsal for something better. You're only on this planet for 840 months, so make the most of it!".

  Your conclusions are what will give you acceptance and contentment - and peace within yourself.

  I hope your search brings you the peace you need.