You Just Might Be A Jehovah's Witness If...

by Beth Shan 19 Replies latest social humour

  • zebagain
    zebagain

    QED

  • Beth Shan
    Beth Shan

    Good one Julia!

    Thanks everyone

  • cultBgone
    cultBgone

    Nicely done! Thanks for sharing these.

  • BU2B
    BU2B

    Nice Job and so true

  • KateWild
    KateWild

    Very good indeed. Thank you Beth Shan.

    Is your story anywhere on the net? I'd love you to share it with us. Thanks Kate xx

  • LongHairGal
    LongHairGal

    Beth Shan:

    Good thread! They are all true......However, the one that got me was the one about where shunning your family is okay....but they are willing to study the bible with criminal types..... This is what really gets me with JWs!

    The worst of it is if they bring somebody like this into the hall, proud of their trophy and imagine they are going to introduce them to the decent, unsuspecting people there......Well, they are not inflicting anybody like this on me.

    In fact, years ago I would not get involved with prison witnessing. JWs are so stupid and they don't think about possible consequences. What if somebody got an early release and spotted the JW in a mall somewhere and followed them? The outcome could be tragic.

    I made it a point to tell my few JW friends that if they run into me in a public place and they are with any kind of disturbed individual, etc., DO NOT INTRODUCE ME. I will run in the opposite direction.

  • Vidiot
    Vidiot

    "...you Might be an XJW." (Jeff Foxworthy-style; reposted from an earlier thread)

    If you suffer acute anxiety attacks while watching Roland Emmerich movies… you might be an XJW.

    If you experience deja vu while helping your kids collect school activity pledges door-to-door… you might be an XJW.

    If you have trouble remembering what weekday it is without some kind of reference point… you might be an XJW.

    If you have to resist the urge to read the ingredients on a package of processed meat products… you might be an XJW.

    If you're inclined to view Scientology as a bunch of half-assed amateurs… you might be an XJW (or a GB member).

    If you’ve recently sent Darren Aronofsky fan mail… you might be an XJW.

    If you’ve recently sent Darren Aronofsky hate mail… you might be an XJW.

    If the name "Warwick" doesn’t make you think of a pint-size actor in a furry costume… you might be an XJW.

    If misquotes, flip-flops, and circular reasoning make you spitting mad… you might be an XJW.

    If misquotes, flip-flops, and circular reasoning make you laugh your ass off…you might be an XJW.

    If the word "Crooklyn" carries deep, personal meaning for you… you might be an XJW.

    If you're thinking of tattooing T's and A's on your skin with no naughty connotations… you might be an XJW.

    If you feel nothing but sympathy for the neighbors of Ned Flanders… you might be an XJW.

    If you've recently become somewhat skeptical of Prince's decision-making abilities… you might be an XJW.

    If the names "Andre" or "Caleb" trigger uncontrollable facepalming… you might be an XJW.

    If your favorite ringtone is a classic Bob Dylan song… you might be an XJW.

    If you feel a strange kinship with the cast of Breaking Amish… you might be an XJW.

    If you consider a PSA video for the deaf as a gift that just keeps on giving… you might be an XJW.

    If a plastic toy wizard is your hero… you might be an XJW.

  • Beth Shan
    Beth Shan

    Thank you cultBgone and BU2B

    Kate, thanks for your interest! I put a brief intro for my first post here. It should be under Jw/friends entitled "Hello"

    Elders daughter out 20 years. My status as a Jehovah's Witness remains "inactive" because I threatened the individual elders with personal lawsuits if they made any announcement, contacted the police and started a Human Rights Commission tribunal, that did not work out but did intimidate them very much Im sure. I have a pretty good relationship with my parents who don't shun me and don't know I am an apostate. I've been involved with the online Ex-JW and JW community for about 5 years off and on, more recently on. I volunteered for AAWA for awhile and resigned about a week ago. I'd love to hear your story too Kate!

    LongHairedGal I agree with you 100%. Excellent synopsis of the situation and good for you for standing up to the JW's policies even way back then as a "good Jehovah's Witness" you knew something was not quite right and you listened to your gut. It is frightening how they allow people into their lives and around their children like that. I am especially wary of people who "Love Jehovah" now.

    Vidiot thank you, what a fantastic, creative list and it totally belongs on this thread. I don't know who made all of them, was it you? Wouldnt it be fantastic to see them made into memes and added to our collection? With the origional authors permission of course. Thanks again.

  • Vidiot
    Vidiot

    Beth Shan - "Vidiot, thank you, what a fantastic, creative list and it totally belongs on this thread. I don't know who made all of them, was it you?"

    You're welcome, and yes. Here's the older thread: http://www.jehovahs-witness.net/jw/friends/278873/2/You-know-your-an-ex-J-Dub-when#.U3Yy5dT4Cmw

    Beth Shan - "Wouldnt it be fantastic to see them made into memes and added to our collection? With the origional authors permission of course."

    Go crazy.

  • Watchtower-Free
    Watchtower-Free

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