What are the consequences if a JW files for an unscriptural divorce? (page 2)

Wild_Thing

My mother remarried a JW for a short 3 years, then divorced due to emotional abuse. She talked to the elders first, who, according to her, gave her the okay. The divorced and neither one had any restrictions that I know of. Both are still witneses, going to different congregations.

shopaholic

Wasanelder Once,

I know how its supposed to happen according to their rules. All of it is subject to the congregation elders. They can follow the rules or bend them. My response is based on how I've seen it play out, more than once, when a spouse is accused of apostasy.

Crazyguy

The whole thing is a joke, people can sperate and they will always talk about giving your mate their sexual due. But get divorced and re-marry and when the elders come knocking if you say u got remarried because your old mate didnt give their sexual due and you'll still get df'd. What a joke.

wannabefree

A couple that I know recently divorced without the proverbial grounds to make it legit. The young lady returned to her home area approx 400km away. The brother told me that she wants to date and that the elders in his area have been driving by frequently late at night and early in the morning hoping to find a reason to give her the grounds.

LoisLane looking for Superman

Those are the words my Elder of 40 years, said after I outed him at our home to 2 elder's.

Together we walked the elder's to our door.

After the door closed, and gave the men time to walk away, my ex turned to me and said,

"There will be consequences". (LOL -----> now)

My words to him, thought of today, as I am out of his firing line are, "GO TO HELL SUPREME ASSHOLE!!!

He was asexual. He won't be committing a sexual act to free me.

I wanted to be good and live in paradise so bad, that I would not commit a JW sin to free myself.

Now, I understand we all have just this life and we are the ones in the driver's seat. Not WT.

-----> My 2 cents. What happens to you and your wife all depends on your Elders. If they like you, they will give you a Get Out of WT Jail Free card, even several... What the heck?

If they do not like you they will DF you in a New York minute.

LoisLane

I am a bit sorry that I did a rant and made my post more about me than you, but hey this is my therapy playground too. lol

Daniel1555

Hey friends

Thanks for clarifying.

LoisLane: I love to hear your experiences. Just a question to you. Would you have liked your ex to commit a sexual act in order for you to be free? How would you have reacted if your ex told you: "I go and lie to the elders that I had a sexual act with someone in order for you to be free". Would you have said to the elders "no, my ex is saying something wrong" or would you just be relieved that you are free to remarry?

Scully

If she wants to get married again, she will be DFd for adultery, since the separation and divorce are not based in scripturally approved grounds. And any potential BF she has among the JWs will be DFd for adultery as well, on the same grounds. However if you kanoodle before she does, she will be free to remarry.

You could - if approached to confirm any kanoodling with anyone else - deny that you are involved in such a relationship - and don't give them any reason to think that you might be lying about it either.

Let her be the one to suffer the consequences of instigating the separation and divorce.

LoisLane looking for Superman

Daniel1555... If my ex said that, wow, he WAS human after all. He was a psychopath. He had no feelings.

To answer your question, if my ex was kind and gentlemanly to me, decades ago, and let me be free, I could have spent my life smiling and being happy because I was happy. Instead, I spent my life with a plastic smile, pretending I was married to the most wonderful man in the world. I could not have coped with the reality otherwise.

-----> If my ex wanted to pretend he had done the deed with someone else, who am I to question?

I have asked my Talk Therapist what should I say if people want to know a "bit" about my history?

She said, "You two tried to make it work, it didn't, so you got divorced" Easy pisey . End of subject.

I said "But I was married for 40 years. How does that sentence compute that we "tried" to make it work... and it didn't?"

She said, " LoisLane , you are the only one that knows you were married to one person for 40 years. Other people will think you probably have been married several times. Nothing new about that".

OK. Case closed.

DesirousOfChange

If she wants to get married again, she will be DFd for adultery, since the separation and divorce are not based in scripturally approved grounds.

Or, if she sucks up to the elders she might only get "reproved" (not DFd) and can go on and live happily ever after like that former marriage didn't happen.

Doc

zed is dead

She will use the "spiritual endangerment" card. She can't get remarried, but the elders will support her in divorcing you.

zed

What are the consequences if a JW files for an unscriptural divorce?

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