How did you teach your kids TTATT? How old were they?

by KateWild 27 Replies latest watchtower bible

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  KateWild

  When I first started going on "other" JW websites my head was spinning so I didn't say anything to my kids about what I had read. Steve Hassan's material helped a lot it was when I read that, that I realised I need to free my kids.

  I got a lot of advice from JWN too.

  My daughter had moved cities and went to the hall we used to visit frequently. Things changed when she became a member instead of just a visitor. When she was 20 yrs I used phrases with her such as..........................

  "You are really good at making your own decisions and thinking for yourself"

  "I don't want you to end up having any regrets in life"

  "A good man is a blessing to find, I don't want you to end up single like so and so"

  "I have been on "other" JW sites, what do you think?"

  Looking back she doesn't even remember me saying those phrases, I was doing it sparingly. She left a month before she actually told me, she watched a youtube about the mishandling of child abuse and knew TTATT straight away, she got me to watch it with her, and when I told her I knew everything she was so relieved. Two months after she left she started seeing a boy from work. They are engaged now, I am so glad she did not fall for a JW. Phew!!!!!!!!!!!

  My son was 11yrs when I taught him TTATT. First I read with him Paul Grundy's life story from jwfacts.com. But I cut and pasted it on word so he wouldn't see the site. As we were reading it together he said.................

  "Mum, is he an apostate?"

  I said "What do you think?"

  He said "No"

  He wanted to carry on reading. When he finished reading, we started reading jwsurvey together as well, and I taught him how to critically think about WT articles. We read at his pace as much as he wanted to read. He says he is now an atheist. Sadly he goes to all the meetings with his dad, and has not been allowed to see me for 6 months. He has been RI'd as an unbaptised publisher without his permission, he is being forced to be a JW, but his mind is protected thankfully. He used to actively participate 2/3 time a meeting, he never participates now. He is out mentally.

  How about you?

  How did you teach your kids TTATT? How old were they?

  Kate xx
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  KateWild

  I started this topic because someone asked me the question. I was interested how other did it too, both with dependant children and adult children living alone.

  Anyone?

  Kate xx
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  nonjwspouse

  I am not dealing with a child that has gone to meetings or otherwise indoctrinated .... Yet. She is 9 and i am axtively reading to her from "twisted scriptures" and we discuss high control groups and how they control, what to watch out for and why this is wrong and dangerous. I am preparing her for what will likely be the inevitable attempt by her father to learn/ convert/ indoctrinate.

  We read from the bible and I ask her what she thinks.

  Offence in our case is the best defence.
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  KateWild

  Excellent nonjwspouse, I think it's never too young and to ask what they think, it helps them have their own opinions, instead of just copying their parents.

  I think you are an excellent example to all UBMs. I think if all UBMs were like you then none of their children would ever get baptised. Well done.

  Kate xx
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  James Brown

  I left in 83. My son was 9.

  My wife stayed in another 10 years after I left, time flys in retrospect.

  I appologized to my son for exposing him to such garbage.

  And told him they said armeggedon was going to come in 75 and it still hasn't

  come in 83.

  I said we don't need somebody who doesn't know what they are talking about

  telling us anything.

  My son is 40. He is not a JW, never was.

  My wife has been out of the tower for 20 years and celebrates all the holidays.
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  KateWild

  Thanks James Brown for your story. It's nice to hear that leaving without your spouse can work out for the best. I bet if you'd have stayed in waiting for your wife, both you, your son and your wife could still be there now.

  Kate xx
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  4thgen

  Hey KateW,

  This is a good topic! I’ve been endeavoring to teach my 10 year old critical thinking on various topics. It is beginning to take a hold of his everyday reasoning; he is a very easy going kid, always eager to please. Since he will be attending the convention with his father this summer, I thought it would be good to discuss 1914 and the ‘generation‘.We got out the bound volumes and we talked about the cover of the 5/15/84 Watchtower “1914, The generation that will not pass away”. Then I showed him the names of each of the people and the days that they died. We reasoned together about what that all meant. We discussed critical thinking, false prophesy and hypocrisy.

  A bit later, I had him read from a bound volume “If you are a young person, you also need to face the fact that you will never grow old in this system of things….you will never fulfill any career that this system offers….“We talked about what he thought that meant. After our discussion, I showed him that the article was from the 5/22/1969 Awake- 45 years ago! He was amazed. We then discussed again about false prophesy. The bound volumes were left on the table and I caught him looking at the articles again. Apparently, it made him think….

  I will have to tell my story in detail at another time; but my son knows about that I stopped being active because of the Watchtower’s stance on child abuse issues; and I believed that after we talked about 1914, he understood a little more of the depth of my convictions…..

  ... and here I thought we were doing so well….My son is at this dad’s for one of the 4 weeks summer vacation weeks. As I was typing the above, my son was in a meeting arranged by his father to become an unbaptized publisher! Because of his fathers past abuses, my son is afraid of getting him upset, so I’m sure he went along with the meeting.

  He will not be home until this weekend and I was hesitant to talk in detail with him on the phone, as I’m sure his father is recording the conversations. We will have to do some more in depth conversation when he gets home. God, it never seems to end!
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  DesirousOfChange

  My kids already knew before I came to learn TTATT.

  Doc
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  KateWild

  4thgen - Great work, but it just goes to show kids want to please both their parents. Sorry to hear your son is an unbaptised publisher, I am upset about my son too. But I am sure they will think differently when they get older.

  I say keep on teaching them

  DOC - I bet they were pleasantly surprised when you left.

  Kate xx
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  nugget

  My children were 9 and 7 I think. It was easier because we left together so it could be presented as a family decision. With them we told them that we were having doubts about some of the things we had been taught and had passed on to them. We told them that it was easy to make mistakes but what was important was acknowledging when we made mistakes and try to make things better.

  We told them that whilst we looked into things we would restore the family to the default setting (my son loves computers so got the analogy) and we would allow them to participate fully in all school activities and attend clubs that they thought they might enjoy. If we decided after research that we might need to make adjustments we would discuss it with them. The school was told what was happening and was advised that the children could fully participate the only criteria was that is the children felt uncomfortable participating in an activitiy that was previously prohibited then they shouldn't be forced.

  The children adjusted very quickly to the new way of life. We have always encouraged them to ask questions and taken any of their concerns seriously. They have met many ex JWs and have seen for themselves shunning and anguish caused by bad religion. This has been more powerful than any lecturing. Neither have any wish to go back to the faith and have nothing positive to say about the meetings they attended.

  Initially my daughter had concerns we would die at Armageddon but I asked her why she was concerned and got her to reason on where her belief came from and whether there was any evidence that anyone would be destroyed. What we found important is to allow time for them to ask questions.