question for you all....

by wonderwoman77 21 Replies latest social relationships

  • SPAZnik
    SPAZnik

    wonderwoman77 - seriously, i've spent many an hour on the phone with many a guy and/or gal. my first question here would be have you met this person? maybe that shouldn't matter. i agree you can make a connection even without having met first, but...i dunno...i just find it harder to trust word and voice without having body language to analyze and absorb as well. that said, hours upon hours of emailing and/or phone chat can be quite revealing about a person.
    even sexually speaking, you can get a 'feel' for a person. but, be prepared for the possibility that upon meeting, you just won't 'feel it' physically for them...or vice versa...that tingle can be fickle.

    as for your question re long distance relationship?
    i guess that depends on your budget for long distance phone bill and travel expenses. heehee. $$$$ also, how open are you or s/he to relocating if you reeeeally hit it off? i hope if this is somebody great for you, that distance won't stop the two of ya.

    or hell, just enjoy it for as long as it lasts.

    SPAZ

  • wonderwoman77
    wonderwoman77

    Katie--Thank you!!!

    Spaz--No I have not yet met this person, they live 8 hours away. I am willing to met them half way, but we have not even discussed that yet. I am prepared for whatever. I just have this feeling and I have denied my feelings in the past for no good reason...I do not want to do that again...I wanna go for it. We are both willing to relocate. She is planning on moving for her job in the next 6 months or so, and I will be relocating in that time as well...

    My goodness, I cannot stop thinking about her, I am not hungry, this has only happened to me one other time. This is shocking me....

    Oh well...thanks for the advice so far.

  • SPAZnik
    SPAZnik

    don't deny your feelings.
    that would be unhealthy.
    of course be cautious
    due to the circumstances.
    i'd say sounds like you're
    already smitten.
    to deny yourself the opportunity
    to explore the possibilities
    could do more damage
    than if you didn't risk at all.

    SPAZ

  • wonderwoman77
    wonderwoman77

    Spaz--
    Thank you for the thoughts...And for the reassurance not to deny my feelings because I tend to do that frequently. Thanks again :)

  • saltiest
    saltiest

    For me and my relationships, the ones that lastest the longest and were less damaging were ones I met online/over the phone. In fact, my daughter's father I met three years ago and although it took a while, we suffered throught he long distance, five hour drives, and phone bills. Talk about long conversations...I think my record is nine hours. Oy.

    Anyhow, just talk some more and see what your instinct tells you. In my experience I can tell more about a person with their voice and their ability to create conversation AND listen to me. I wish you the best.

    Alicia

  • Hmmm
    Hmmm
    And what the heck how do you get the tingles from just talking to someone???

    stop bringing the cordless phone with you into the shower!

  • wonderwoman77
    wonderwoman77

    Hey Alicia--thanks for the advice and encouragment. I think that is exactly what I am going to do!!!

  • wonderwoman77
    wonderwoman77

    Update for all of you that are interested. It is 4:30 am and I just got off the phone with her, I talked to her on the phone for almost 5 hours tonight. This is the most crazy thing. I am usually reserved when speaking with someone about how I feel, but I am totally myself with her and it feels so free and amazing...

  • simplesally
    simplesally

    Sorry to quote a scripture here, but it is never truer: The heart is treacherous, who can know it????

    Do NOT follow your heart. Follow your head. Listen to that mature brain of yours. If, after careful consideration, length of time, much in real life dating, tons of time together and meeting his friends.......um friends he knows for a long time, then make a decision.

    If he can't get a reference from his family, friends that he has known for more than a few years, has a good job, has a good credit report that you have run, has a good DMV record that you have had him show you, has a valid drivers license, has shown you his 1040's ........ well then, if he checks out, you can follow your heart.

  • aluminutty
    aluminutty

    WW:
    Thanks for this post. I can truly feel your excitement, it's coming through the words. You know that glow? No, not after glow either, but, that glow,
    the spring in the step, world don't stop me now I's in love feeling? Well, you're showing it. Cool! Hot damn!

    Follow your heart.

    I did, and guess what? No regrets. Not a single solitary one, not even her JW family well... <grin>

    Jese I'm blithering, and I apoligise a head of time, but I'm thinking of the first time I told Tema I loved her. We had only been seeing each other for
    a week, and up to this point in my life I fancied myself as one of those cool analytical type folks. You know, don't act to haistilly, check the story,
    remain detatched while seaking attachment kind-a guys. It's wierd, but in spite of this, I found myself stammering out I love you and preying with every
    atom that she would say she loved me in return. What I got was . . .. . . (and by this time I'm dying) . . . . Did I just here you say the L word?
    OK, I thought, it's not the impassioned kiss I was after, but, at least she didn't leave the table. Turns out, she was feeling the same thing for me,
    she just didn't want me to blindly bury myself in her issues, and after painstakingly detailing all said issues to me for the next 8 hours, and on looking
    up for a second and seeing that I hadn't left the table, that's when I got the I love you. BTW, and I know this is even scarier, five months later we
    were maried? BTBTW, and this is so frightening you'll squint your eyes and flea, but 32 months later, we are more in love then ever. Thank you God.

    WW, um, sorry, that would be follow your heart.

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