Have been out officially for 5 1/2 years. I was the only one out of all my 4 other siblings that stayed with it. Baptized at 16 and felt the need to carry on the heritage that my mom gave me to do. My relationship with my mom was always rocky and I always tried to please her. I felt the best way was stay with the WTS.
Met my first husband, now, ex at a RBC (1993) and felt I was being blessed for giving my life for Jah..... I was young, stupid and following the rules. Even in the end of our relationship, I felt I was the better person cause I didn't commit adultery like he did and was faithful til the end..... but I was faithful to the wrong person. I withheld sex and hated sex because of an issue when I was younger and molested/rapped by a neighbor. We lived like room mates for MANY YEARS and made him find it somewhere else. I took it out on him and was totally wrong for that... Even after the Committee meeting I was convinced I was the innocent party. I was stupid, stupid, stupid. Through the years of my first marriage -- there were opportunities to walk away but I felt I had to be loyal to my vow Jehovah and my mate. We moved to the Poconos for a year and we faded quietly but our marriage was also really bad and my mind control thinking kept kicking in that we needed to move back to the West Passaic Congregation in New Jersey, Jehovah and we'll be fine and save our marriage... Again he gave in and moved us to the area that I requested. He was a really good guy (you have a new perspective on life and your actions towards different people when you have time to think with a clear mind) that put up with tons of my issues but you can only take so much! Anyway.... We did separate in 2005 and divorce in 2006. The way I treated my ex through our 10 years of marriage. Plain and simple-- I was a holier than tho BITCH!!! I pushed him over the edge and out of the TRUTH....but hey, he might just thank me today for doing that now. Made it easier for his exit. But that holier than tho was just I have to be better, do better than him, like a competition ...... Felt I never fitted in and went through the motions....I was a follower, even RAP for years and RP for a year to gain more friends and approval.... Hated field service and never put a real effort into it, even fake pushing the door bell so I didn't have to talk to them.... what a great pioneer I was LOL It was a huge social fest for me. My ex was not a huge social person and only had a FEW good friends that he associated with. I was in there but not really. I loved going to lunch with the girls and going shopping to pick out a new outfit for the upcoming assembly, etc. I would have left earlier but ALWAYS felt the calling from the HQ like they had a POWER over me and they did....
Was in a head on auto accident in 2007 (not my fault) and eventually moved into my mothers place in South Jersey. Huge mistake!!! We had screaming matches on a daily basis, so much, she kicked me out. LOL. I than moved in with my worldly sister, brother in law, niece and nephew. Best year and a half in my life.... I lived!!! Single and lots of drinking parties. Atlantic City and clubbing with my other witness friends that left or in the process of leaving. We rode dirt bikes and 4 wheeler's. I skipped MANY meetings and had tons of fun.
I dated 2 other fellow witnesses but in the end, couldn't see me being the faithful submissive wife after living on the edge for the time I did. I wanted out but just didn't know how. Meet my present Hubby on the forbidden witness dating site. At that point, I was ready to go for good. He helped me fade. We talked on the phone for a while and I met him in person at a DC in Lincoln, NE. We talked and goofed around the whole time, he showed me around the area for the week I spent with him unchaperoned. :) I was looking to get the hell out of Jersey anyway. The ONLY thing I would miss was my 2 best friends that were fading themselves. My boyfriend did come to Jersey for a visit and we didn't have a chaperon either ohhhhhh noooooo!!! Spent 5 days driving around, visiting 5 states and probably every Harley shop along the way. ( He's a Harley guy!!) Had an awesome time. Got a phone call from the Elders about a week later requesting a meeting... sure why not. I know very well my mother informed them of this immoral act her daughter was doing and could they please intervene. They wanted to know what we did all those days we we're ALONE?? Did I go into his hotel room? What do you think we did? Why didn't you have a chaperon? REALLY?? I was 35 years old!! They love knowing every aspect of your life and wanna be in charge of it. I slowly faded over the next few weeks and moved to Omaha. Didn't inform them of a forwarding address.
Hubby slowly did his fade in 2007 using his medical issue to miss meetings/service. He was a MS and an ASL interpreter for weekly meetings, conventions and assemblies for 14 years. Dumping upon him all the crappy tasks the elders didn't wanna handle. And things just not adding up thru his personal study and readings. Just after so many missed meetings, they demoted him to publisher and found another young sucker seeking to climb the Watchtower ladder to fill his space. He also owned his own construction business and was used by many other brothers also in the construction field within surrounding congregations. He started slowly cutting ties with them also. He began telling them he was booked and couldn't do a job they asked him to do. They ceased to call with work. Worked out fine, he had made lots of contacts with worldly people in construction to keep him busy and the money rolling in. Life has been truly wonderful without meeting and being fake. I am happily married now for 5 years and have a soon to be 4 year old. We DO NOT plan to teach him about Jehovah. We will let him decide when he is of age to follow what HE wants, not planning on pushing anything on him. He is into sports already, loving Soccer and Baseball. Netflix has wonderful documentaries and I love the CoC book by Ray Franz. Just put it on my side table for a fresh review.