How Pioneering has prepared me for multiple Dates

KateWild

I have two more dates this week. Keeping track of who is who and showing them a "genuine" interest has been fun to say the least. I can prepare for each "return visit" in advance and take notes after each date.

So is this ethical?

Well to develop friendships you can be genuine with multiple friends. It's natural to have a few close friends. But to do this in respect of a love interest is not being genuine. I have decided if I get asked for a second date and there is enough of a spark for me to accept, then I will not date anyone else.

Then after a couple of months I should know if there are any alarm bells going off. If not I will remove myself from the sites and stop going on them.

IMO it's not ethical to go on multiple dates.

What do you think?

Kate xx

sparrowdown

Good to see all those "JW stalking 101" classes (pioneer schools) have come in handy.lol.

Seriously though, If you have not made a committment to any one person you should have as many dates as you feel comfortable with.

You don't owe anyone exclusivity until mutually agreed upon. Otherwise just have fun getting to know people in a relaxed be yourself kind of way.

Trouble with being exclusive too soon it places too much pressure on yourself and other the person before you are ready.IMO.

Good luck with the note taking BTW.

KateWild

Trouble with being exclusive too soon it places too much pressure on yourself and other the person before you are ready.IMO.-Sparrow

Good point. I am dating to have fun not to be pressured. Pressure equals stress, not fun.

That's good advice. How old are you Sparrow? PM me if you want it to be confidential.

Kate xx

sparrowdown

Let's just say I am Gen X.

My favourite decade would be the eighties. (that's when I did my partaying).

Sorry for the ambiguity but I live in very small town and do not want to be outed by possible lurkers.

KateWild

That's enough info Sparrow, I get the ball park. Kate xx

Slidin Fast

Good Morning Kate,

My gosh you were up early this morning.

I think the most important thing is honesty. That doesn't mean you have to bare all (literally or otherwise) on the first date but that you don't resort to deceit or covering up other relationships in your life.

Presumably other guys you are meeting are playing the field too. The important thing is not to conceal and that if you do decide to continue with one relationship exclusively that it is on an honest basis on both sides.

Frazzled UBM

Kate - you can be sure the guys on these sites will not be adopting that strategy. Be careful out there - there are a lot of players me suspects. So take your time to test these guys out and discover who are genuine. I agree with sparrow - if you put all your eggs in one basket too early you are more likley to get hurt if the guy you have bet on turns out not to also be seeing the relationship in monogamous terms. Take care Fraz

disposable hero of hypocrisy

Sounds like a good plan, although I'm hoping you won't be taking notes DURING the date!

Have fun missy!

KateWild

Oh dear,

The consensus seems to be to have mutiple dates. I have just replied to about four guys the following.

"Thank you for your interest. I have just been asked out on a couple of dates this week, if there are no sparks I will let you know. I am afriad I will not be answering any more messages today"

I have all good lucks in response.

Okay I am readjusting my strategy after reading the advice

Kate xx

nonjwspouse

"Shopping" is smart and I feel very ethical, as long as it is not represented as exclusive. However I realize some people assume exclusivity regardless of what is presented to them.

The thiing you need to be careful of is falling for the "love bombing" without actually knowing what you want. Keep your distance for a while.

How Pioneering has prepared me for multiple Dates

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