How Did "Shepherding Calls" Go For You?

minimus

Did you loath them? Did you feel it was a "privilege" to have the elders care deeply about your spiritual well being? If you were an elder or ministerial servant, did you enjoy going to the homes of the sheep?

dozy

I only had one shepherding call on me in 30 years of being an adult witness (well , make that 2 including the one I got after I faded.) I don't think that was untypical - the elders are so busy dealing with congregation problems that any normal JW who keeps out of trouble is pretty much ignored.

Regarding making shepherding calls , like many elders I was so busy "fighting fires" and making counselling shepherding calls that I very rarely was able to make any encouraging shepherding calls. Every now & again we would have a "special effort" and try to call on everyone in our book study groups but it usually fizzled out after a couple of the easier calls. To be honest , I hated doing any type of shepherding - the brothers tended to look at you with suspicion and were just waiting for you to bring something up that was negative. I remember a sister getting very upset and virtually throwing me and another elder out of her house when we brought up a problem after 30 minutes of chit chat and small talk. "That's all you came here to talk about" , she said. And frankly , it was.

There isn't much of an incentive for elders to make shepherding calls - they can't book their time ( well , not officially at least) - and COs rarely ask them about shepherding - they are much more concerned about the example the elders are setting on the ministry. Most elders I knew hardly did any truly upbuilding shepherding calls without going with a specific counselling agenda , though occasionally in the past there was an older guy who really did care for the brothers and regularly made calls purely to encourage and upbuild. You find very few of them around nowadays - most are trained to be "Society Men" rather than spiritual shepherds.

Gentledawn

Always hated sheep-herding calls. Never could quite put my finger on why, but partly because of the phrase "your comments are missed at the meetings" always popped up during the call. Every. Goddamned. Time.

Total disinterest for lengthy stretches of time, then a sudden interest in someone's well-being? Yeah, that's genuine.

Real friends talk to one another more than once every year/2 years. Coming around out of the blue and feigning interest in some poor "sheep's" (a dehumanizing term, btw & probably by design, as far as the cult goes) life isn't convincing at all. It's not like the person lives a million miles away, whilst residng, shopping, etc. within their territory boundaries.

Returning to the kingdom hall would mean the same shitty cascade taking place:

• attend meeting

• get "love bombed" by well-wishers who apparently thought you were dead prior to that meeting

• immediately get asked to go out in field service

The reasons that vistited/shepherded "sheep" wasn't coming to meetings does NOT matter. Nothing matters except forwarding the Watchtower's own agenda. That means filling a seat and for them to drop money into their (WT) donation plate/box. That means going out and getting more bodies to fill in seats, which translates into more money into the collection plate/box.

Money, money, money. Having bodies in the seats at the KH/assemblies means money.

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Another thing I never knew until after I left the Borg is that they appoint so-called "elders" who are still in their 20s for age. Even the US doesn't allow anyone under the age of 35 to run for president! Because maturity. A 20yo "older man". Yeah, that makes perfect sense (/sarcasm)

https://answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20110513202104AAcGdYE

And food for thought:

If disciplining an elder/ministerial servant means he must step down from "privileges" as a punishment (especially in cases of serious wrongdoing, such as child molestation/rape), does that mean all women are in a perpetual state of punishment?

If women are to "keep silent" in regard to meetings and go home afterwards and ask their husbands questions, what about widows, orphans and single women?

And that coming from a guy (Paul) who admonished people to stay single and not to marry. I guess that was directed only at the men-folk... oh, wait.

Phew! Good thing there are no contradictions in the bible.

Ucantnome

I felt that the elders made an arrangement between themselves to call on me. We have a phone and they had my number.

When they came they came in suits and tie with a bag. My friends don't come to visit like this. This is not a casual call. So why not arrange to come. I asked them to. They refused. I found that rude.

I think we had 5 visits in 13 years.

Ucantnome

my mother would usually phone to let me know she was coming round but not the elders.

Phizzy

In nearly 60 years in I can only recall being called on four times. Once was when a Bro had done something objectionable and I said he was not welcome in my home again. Just one Elder called, and after his frankly uplifting visit we were prepared to make peace with the offender.

The same Elder proceeded to wind up the offender so much at the next Meeting that the poor guy went off on one and swore he would never enter my house again in his life, so I shrugged my shoulders and let that remain the case. Epic fail for Elder at the last post !

The second time was when again a single Elder called to help me get back in FS after I had stopped going for a while. I started going out again sporadically for a few years, so relative success there, for a while.

The third time was close on a year after I had stopped FS an Elder called, just one again, Phizzy rarely ranked high enough for two it seems, to find out why I had stopped after a lifetime of being one of the foremost Preachers in our Congo. I told him that 1914 was hogwash, he promised to call back and prove the Doctrine to me, I am still waiting for him to call back. Another Fail.

The fourth and final time was when two Elders called and swore they were there to encourage me, but really they were trying to find an excuse to DF me for Apostasy. This was six months after I had stopped attending, eithteen months since I had stopped F.S.

They achieved zilch, I never went back, they could not find proof to DF me. They failed again.

Mrs Phizzy in nearly 60 years in NEVER received even ONE Shepherding call from any Elder specifically for her.

Is this low quality of Shepherding typical in the U.K ? or were my lot more lazy than most ?

keyser soze

My biggest problem with them was always the timing. They always seem to be prompted by some special occasion, such as the Memorial, or the CO's visit. It made me feel like it was less about my well-being, and more about making their numbers look good.

minimus

Some JWs actually would ask for regular shepherding calls and we would oblige them and usually got a nice dessert for being fine shepherds.

Wild_Thing

The only one I actually remember was from when I was a kid, and it felt weird and awkward because my dad was an elder. They even acted awkward, and I remember it being said the only reason they were there was because the C.O. had been on their case about making sheparding calls to all. (Actually our congregation was real bad about making ANY!) They were like "... well, this was swell. Next week, you can come see us! Haha!" Talking to my dad.

As a young adult trying to fade, I remember them trying to make an unscheduled sheparding call. I hid. I'm not ashamed of it! Self preservation. We've all done it! :)

minimus

The cos did make a big deal of everyone getting a call and I got a phony one too. So so silly.

How Did "Shepherding Calls" Go For You?

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