Did you loath them? Did you feel it was a "privilege" to have the elders care deeply about your spiritual well being? If you were an elder or ministerial servant, did you enjoy going to the homes of the sheep?
How Did "Shepherding Calls" Go For You?
by minimus 15 Replies latest jw friends
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sarahsmile
What sheparding call! No such thing around here.
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dozy
Ditto. I had one shepherding call on me in almost 30 years as an adult witness. Even that was just a total waste of time - the elders were doing one of their special campaigns to call on everyone in the congregation & basically read out of a script.
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GoodGuyGreg
I was - still am - on friendly terms with the actual individuals who would perform such shepherding calls, on my part. I find it a bit sad that they've been mislead, and they find it a bit sad that I've been mislead, but there's no hard feelings between us.
They still come and visit my wife now and then, and I'll just make some coffee and chitchat with them. I know they mean well, and I see no point in creating enmity where none is intended.
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Splash
Shepherding calls are one of the highlights of being an elder / MS.
You are warmly welcomed, you have a nice social visit with some encouraging point.
Word then gets around that someone has been upbuilt, and there's a good vibe.Not to confuse shepherding visits with anything else like investigations, nosiness, trying to reactivate etc.
Splash.
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Ucantnome
I wouldn't let them in without an appointment and they never made one.
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Wasanelder Once
The general reception was suspiscion, a sort of "what have we done wrong?" attitude. The attitude of the elders where I was consisted of parenting the flock who were clearly hiding something or unable to make decisions on thier own. No one wanted the visit. Those that wanted one never seemed to be scheduled by the PO. We were strongly admonished to stick to the schedule provided.
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OneEyedJoe
The last one I had almost had my wife (still very much 'in') in tears due to the anticipation of it. Apparently sheparding calls in her youth were always just 2 elders coming by and telling her family everything they need to improve. The last one we got was clearly driven by the fact that the CO was coming soon and the last time he'd been by he reamed the elders for not doing sheparding calls enough, so they wanted to be able to report that they'd called on everyone in the congregation. It lasted about 15 minutes (so the elders spent twice as long driving as they did at our house) and essentially went like this-
Elders: You guys need to talk about anything?
Me: Nope. I'll let you know if we do.
Elders: Cool, see ya.
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LongHairGal
Minimus:
(I think you have two exact same threads, by the way!)
I hated shepherding calls and found them to be occasions where I was depressed afterwards.
When I analyzed why I realized what l did was let these men into MY home where, instead of supposedly encouraging me, they would carefully criticize me or slyly infer that I wasn't doing enough, etc., etc...... It was all too clear to me that their perception of me was negative.
Why, on earth, would I ever again subject myself to this garbage?
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konceptual99
I think this is one area that the WTS and elders are completely missing the point. Instead of inviting themselves round to share a point of encouragment why not just go on the ministry with someone (note this is from the viewpoint of someone "in"), invite that single parent and her kids around for a meal, arrange a social activity with ones you want to encourage and do it regularly. Shepherding is about being a friend not a visitor.
Sure there might be times that there is a specific point that needs discussion but generally it's about being friends. I have been in my current congregation over 30 years. I can count on one hand the number of times an elder has invited me and my family for a meal or out socially in the last 20+ years. I was until a short while ago a ministerial servant and remain nominally in good standing. It's no wonder eveyone (elders included) find shepherding such a chore.