received text from my mom

by GoUnion 22 Replies latest jw experiences

• 

  LisaRose

  That's rough, there's not much you can do when family tries to guilt you for choosing not to practice their choice of religion. Tell your mom that you love her but you must do what your own conscience demands, just as she is doing. Tell her that you respect her choice, and you wish that she would respect yours. If her mother told her she had to be Catholic, would she have obeyed her? I think not.

  It's your life, your decision, your choice, don't forget that. It makes me made when JWs act as if they have dibs on God, or morality.
• 

  skeeter1

  "Mom, have a good time at the convention. I know you well enough to know how much thought and care it took you to write that text. I also know enough to know that you are feeling guilty or responsible about my not being at the meetings. You are a great parent, and should not take my not coming to the meetings as a reflection of you as a mother, servent of Jehovah, or otherwise. I made my own decision to not attend, based on my own hours and months of personal study. I love you too."

  You have to define who you are within this relationship with your mother. If you don't nip it (her guilt trips) in the bud, she will continue on & on & on & on & on.
• 

  nugget

  It is frightening when you realise how disposable relationshis are within the organisation. The truth is we appreciate people we have been close to and love our families and friends we do not put conditions on our relationships it is the organisation and those controlled by them who do that.

  Enjoy the day.
• 

  cofty

  It is tough there is no doubt.

  The rewards of freedom are worth the cost in the long run. Your parents are offering you a conditional relationship. In my case I decided it wasn't a good enough offer.
• 

  cultBgone

  Skeeter, nicely done! GoUnion, kudos to you for standing up for your true beliefs. Win your family over with your Love and Kindness and don't allow them to guilt you. They can't help themselves but you can help them get out. (((hugs)))
• 

  J.C.

  It is a very difficult transition. I am going through it after 35 years of understanding and being a Elder for a short while. I'm not DF. Have been. Twice. Took my lumps to really find out. The identifying mark of the true Christian Congregation. Does not exist among JW. So I left. Now I see more and more. That it was a right decision.

  I can still visit with family. And they sometimes pull the same guilt trip on me. It doesnt work on me because I see the Lack of love. I see the need for all to follow. Blindly. Hypocritically.

  Examine why you left. If you are committed to it. Jehovah gives us freedom of choice. To be happy with it. Others who pressure to follow them are forcing you with guilt. Not goodness. But guilt that you are not following them. Why should you feel guilty for choosing your own path of life ??

  For me being single and in no where land is difficult. I don't know if that is how you feel. Celebrating holidays of made up garbage I will not do, because it's not right, so I don't really fit amoung the general population. And of course not going to meetings. No single JW sister would look at me. Time will Tell.

  If you need a friend I am here. True friends don't pressure you. They support you. Build you up. Encourage you.
• 

  problemaddict

  The best way to respond is with a mix of confusion and love. What do you mean "throw away"? I love you all right back!

  Stuff like that.

  When my mother had her "my son is doomed" moment, I just explained to her that I was the same son she had last week. Hard working, take care of family and friends, live a moral life, loyal to others, etc... Why would she jusdge me because I no longer can follow the edicts of the governing body through the religion of my youth?

  It was a hard sentence.....but she actually responded fairly positivly.
• 

  Hortensia

  Hang tough -- it makes a difference in the long run. I grew up in a staunch JW family. Mom and that generation have died, and NONE of my generation is still a JW. Not my sisters, not my cousins. Woohoo!
• 

  Mum

  If you want to be brutally honest, ask your mom why their "love" for you is conditioned on obedience to a bunch of control freaks you've never met (I assume). Tell her you love her no matter what. Why did the WTS redefine "love" for only their members? Tell her you're not "throwing away" anything, but as ADCMS said, they would be throwing you away.

  Make some new friends. Take a class. Jon a gym. Start your own life with no master. If that's what you want, that is.
• 

  GoUnion

  ty for all the advice. I had a relaxing day, now I'm enjoying a couple of drinks and a fine cigar. I dunno I'm not an educated person but this feels like paradise to me.