a sense of responsibility

Ruby456

do parents here feel a strong sense of responsiblity for raising their children as witnessess? an xwitness friend was saying she and her husband feel very bad for having brought up their children as witnesses and they feel they want to make amends but are unable to do so. what advice would you give them. Their children are still faithful witnesses.

jgnat

There are a few members of the board who have expressed this peculiar kind of grief. Some of the kids have exited, some have not. I don't have any great wisdom to impart, other than parents, forgive yourselves. And patience. Lots of patience.

Ruby456

I like your breezy no nonsense attitude that comes across to me jignat. But I wouldn't describe it as a peculiar kind of grief if an individual is expressing a feeling of responsibility and is seeking to make amends. Coming on this board and helping others exit may be part of making amends and addressing a sense of responsibility?

what is forgiveness anyway? I really would like to know

jgnat

It is tough to make amends if the kids are not listening. So the parents do have to show patience, and hope for a time when they can have a heart-to-heart. My favorite article on repentance and forgiveness:

http://www.crosscurrents.org/blumenthal.htm

I do not want to sound breezy to this couple. I think the emotions run deep when it comes to our kids.

Reopened Mind

Ruby,

Your thread has really hit a nerve with me. My husband and I are xJWs who raised our 2 boys in the cult. Our boys both married in the cult and are raising their children as JWs. We didn't wake up until after our children had grown and married. We told both our boys what we were learning when we were waking up. For a while we thought they were listening and we had the hope they would follow us. But the cult (and we suspect wives & in-laws) had too strong of a pull on them. Since our oldest wrote us a scathing letter about how horrible we were as parents we have had no contact with him or his family. Sad, he has 2 lovely children we would like to be a part of their lives. We do have some contact with our youngest son but only to discuss "family business". He, too, has 2 lovely children whom I see only on facebook.

To answer your original question; yes, we do feel a great sense of responsibility for raising our boys as witnesses. One thing we keep telling ourselves is that we did the best we knew how at the time. We will bide our time and always be positive whenever we do have that rare contact with them.

Reopened Mind

Heartofaboy

bttt

Xanthippe

Ruby I feel very strongly that when people become ex-JWs and their adult children leave, no matter how long that takes, they should apologise for raising their kids in a dangerous cult. My in-laws never apologised to my husband or his sister and I really think they should have.

It severely damaged their children's lives and they have never acknowledged that they, at the very least, made a dreadful mistake. My sister-in-law will no longer have anything to do with them which is very sad. Actually talking about this has helped clarify it in my mind. The next time I speak to my mother-in-law I will suggest it, it might help her get her daughter back.

Still Totally ADD

At one time I thought I was doing the right thing for my kids bringing them up in the Wt. Cult. Of course I did not think of it as a cult then like I do now. I wish I never heard of the Wt. Now both my wife and I in our 60's can't see our grand kids. One child has told us to stay away from our grand kids until we get help and then he will determine if that help worked. What ever that means. But we did raise them in this cult and are resposibile for this out come. All they know is mind control and cult reasoning. They are both in their 30's and to them mom and dad are out of their minds. And since they think they know better than us they feel they have the upper hand on us. What they don't understand is time keeps going on and if they wait to long we may not be around to talk to them. My hope is the grand kids when they grow up will seek us out and find out why we was not around them when they was growing up. Yes I have great regret for bringing them up in the Wt. Cult. But at this point in our live's all my wife and I can do is move forward and hope our kids see the light on of these days. Still Totally ADD P.S. I did not see my wife's thread on this until I klick this message on.

new hope and happiness

I love my boy and his my boy but when he turns say seventeen years old ..his a man.

I feal if i raised my boy as a witness he would always be a play thing made of cloth, like a puppet, whose brain was never his and body like a robot desinged to knock on doors.

SuperBoy

I wouldnt feel to bad for bringing up your children as JWs.

You felt it was the right thing to do, and don't feel guilty about it.

As an ex JW, I do feel that I was protected in some ways, and now as an

ex, my upbringing has resulted in me having a fairly

strong resistance of peer pressure, not needing to feel

part of the crowd, and a yearning for social justice. Some of my peers think the next series of Towie

is the highlight of their week. And I don't ever want to be like that. Posting this in a pub which is never good. It makes sense to me.

a sense of responsibility

Share this