Coming soon to a District Convention near you, it's the Aposto-Blimp!
Be on the lookout for the latest technology for telling The Truth About The Truth: a five meter long, helium filled blimp which will cruise about the hapless fools at a District Convention. Made from tear-resistant Mylar with propellors powered by lightweight lithium power cells, the blimp will be guided by a small computer with GPS assistance and will follow its flight path in and around the stadium for hours at a time. To ensure continuing interest, the blimp will include a suspended banner with pointed sayings rotated every few minutes. You may imagine what these messages might be. The blimp's programmed track will include many turns, dips, and rises and will be unpredictable so as to evade any ground fire.
The blimp will be painted a bright shocking pink and be shaped like a giant penis to further gain the attention of the sexually repressed attendees.
I call it "Satan's Dong".
Coming soon to a District Convention near you, it's the Aposto-Blimp!
by Skimmer 14 Replies latest watchtower beliefs
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Skimmer
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Wild_Thing
I'm not sure about the pink penis thing, but that's not a bad idea! (Not penises are pink!)
Make it happen, Skimmer!
Put a secret operative down below to provide a feed of all the talks to you. For every point, they make, you could display a counter point on the blimp, with watchtower references, websites, and quotes. They would constantly be looking up to see what the blimp had to say about what old Morris was babbling about!
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Skimmer
Something like this has already been done on a much smaller scale:
" Flying Penis invades Live conference in Russia "
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Phizzy
Reminds me of what happened at a District Convention I was at many years ago, nearby was an Airshow involving all sorts of weird and wonderful flying machines, from Micro-lites up.
Many flew directly over the Assembly ground, and mercifully drowned ot the speaker for a bit, and provided a much needed diversion.
The Pompous Prats in charge of the Assembly sent a request to the show organisers that they do not fly over or near the convention ground.
The curt reply was a refusal to change anything they were doing, with the added comment "anyway, we are nearer to God than you are".
Hilarious.
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MaybeSo
There was a some dude with a bull horn outside the NRG stadium in Houston recently on an International Convention. I don't think he made any difference, police took him away after a few minutes. Not sure on what grounds.
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Skimmer
I'd thought the idea was an original of mine, but a perusal of YouTube shows several flying penis videos all from some time ago.
Also, there are a couple of videos of flying inflatable sex toys. Crude and vulgar, but also funny.
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villagegirl
Stupidest idea. You win the prize. What idiot would believe that sexual shock
tactics will cause people in spiritual captivity to suddenly be awakened to
the fact they are following a False Prophet ? Really ? Thats the best anyone
can come up with ? And what about little children in the audience ?
You again confirm the WT warnings that apostates
are "mentally diseased", nice work. This will send lurkers
fleeing back to the Kingdom Hall. What do you think this forum
is for anyway ?
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SadElder
Don't some of these large venues now have prohibitions against flyovers due to the terrorism risks?
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rebel8
I always wonder, why try to save a few zombies, when you can use that same time and energy and prevent millions of people from ever becoming zombies?
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Skimmer
Instead of just one blimp, how about four: each a giant head from Russell to Franz and each carrying banners of the most stupid predictions they made.
The heads would be in the style of the old time ventrilloquist dummies, complete with a creepy moving lower jaw.