For those who have been out for 5 years or more....... (page 3)

Thor

Oh yes!

Our family has been free now for seven years! YAY!! We have peace and happiness and feel much more relaxed. We have, of course, had different emotions over the years, but we are even more kind in our thoughts and forgiving of the people still "in" than we were at first. Life is so much better now, the only thing that would have made it even better would have been if we could have left sooner, but you can't change the past, you can only go forward with your life!

I do have to say though, that becoming a little more relaxed could also be due to getting a little older..

:) Mrs. Thor

fulltimestudent

Disfellowshipped about 25 years ago.

But I was mentally 'out' a few years before that, as I reflected on the 'trainwreck' of WT Chronology. I think being present at a large elder's meeting in 1975 addressed by Nathan Knor and Freddy Franz, and 'reading' the body language of the two, as well as my own previous, developing doubts about Biblical chronology and its associated prophetic foundation.

I can't say I had a bad time as a JW, none of the crazy stuff I read of here, happened around me (well, not until I was chucked out anyway). Maybe Aussie JWism is a softer, kinder version of the American model. Some things were likely to have been emotionally satisfying, but I could have had those feelings in any number of human societies.

My biggest 'beef' is that I believed the Bible and tried to model my life on Jesus. What a stupid thing to do. Sometimes I'm shocked by how dumb I can be.

Nonetheless, I accept personal responsibility. I did it all to myself (with a bit of help from the Yahweh/Jesus combo divinity). So these days I just get on with my life, still trying to understand the world around me.

rebel8

my relaxed attitude is letting the side down

Nope. I know of no obligation we have to save cultists who have voluntarily chose to be in a cult. What have they done for you?

flipper

PHIZZY_ Good thread. I'm a lot more relaxed about life for sure. I have been out for about 11 years. I have lost virtually all of my fear and guilt about most things - however the fact that I still have to deal with JW relatives still in the organization causes me some challenges indeed. Especially in dealing with my older JW mom who stopped attending meetings and is in a assisted care facility now. I keep in touch with her more than I do my JW dad who is quite self righteous. I am committed to exposing this JW cult for what it is - a criminal organization- and I'm also committed to assisting any exiting JW's to see how to live free with free and open minds.

I can do this and yet still feel relaxed and enjoy different aspects of my life like playing music, hiking in the woods, enjoying my wife and the company of good friends and my adult ex-JW son. Just because we are activists against the WT Society doesn't necessarily mean we haven't recovered from being in a mind control cult. Some of us want to give back to others what was stolen from us - our ability to have free minds and attain happiness. I truly feel we can all help each other to attain this freedom and happiness

Wide Awake!

I'm at 10 years.

When I first stopped going to meeting I had tons of anxiety. I was afraid to talk to people for fear they would ask me about my meeting attendence. This went on for a few years.

Now, I talk about it completely calmly like it's in the past. A witness is what I used to be. I'm not df'd so I still have to be careful in what I say around witnesses that I run into once in a while. But it's no out of fear... I'm just exploiting a loophole in their own rules.

forest heathen

My husband, son, and I have been out for about 12 years. We weren't disfellowshipped (as far as we know) nor did we disassociate. We just left. No one came after us. Weird. We had no real problem leaving.

We just left and quit the whole JW thing. My son and I were quicker to join in "worldly" things. He joined the military and I began reading and writing about magic, faeries, and "pagan" things. I was done with the bible, god, and organized religion.

As far as running into JWs, it rarely happens and we don't have any ill feelings towards those we knew in the congregations. I've seen JWs out eating in restaurants and, really, I sort of feel sorry for them. They are so easy to indentify and they don't really look happy. They look so uncomfortable.

I've embraced the world, people, the community, and the earth. I recycle, use my own shopping bags, donate to charities, and eat much healthier. I smile more. People are not all bad. I've discovered that by just smiling at others and sending out positive energy, I feel so much better, and I've noticed it makes others feel better. Most people are nice, and will react with kindness when treated with kindness.

I am so much closer to my family. I love sending them birthday and holiday messages / cards / presents.

Actually, I do not entirely regret my time as a JW, it did work for me and my family for a time. I learned a lot about the bible and it was good for my husband, my son, and me in that we lived a moral, clean, and honest lifestyle. We were happy as a family ... but then the religion just didn't work for us anymore.

We changed and our view of the world changed.

My husband and son know about JWR and JWN and know I sometimes pop in here. They don't socialize online much and don't see a need to reconnect with the JW religion even if it is with other ex-JWs. My husband has asked me why I feel a need to be here since he knows I don't have any grudges or unresolved issues with the religion. I've told him that when I get here, I feel like I am maybe helping others by letting them know that there is a wonderful life to be lived once one leaves. And to share that it isn't too late to start living and pursuing one's real dreams.

~ Forest Heathen

Terry

Jehovah's Witnesess really have no life. They are all about pointing to the bomb with the lit fuse (Armageddon).

Anything they do for themselves they have to hide and feel guilty about.

They will never be seen as having "done enough." They play catch up forever.

When I or anybody else leaves the Watch Tower religion behind--you don't leave it behind.

You leave the Kingdom Hall but, you carry the religion around with you wherever you go.

It is like spending the day in pit of pig shit. You get up and rinse off and get on an elevator thinking people can't still smell it on you.

SuperBoy

Great thread.

I am much more relaxed.

Peeps in the UK might understand what I mean if I saw that when I was a JW it was like being a walking-talking Daily Mail.
Looking for scandal everywhere; getting upset and righteously indignant at "immorality".
Assuming that the world was so much better in the 'good old days'.

Oh and the constant weight of expecting persecution. The constant repetition that the world is a bad place and people are bad.
I have never found that to be the case since leaving.

My life now - the best wedding I have ever been to was when two friends, Mark and Paul, got married.

It's such a relief not to be thinking about whatever the latest fad in the world is that I need to disapprove of.

I remember I used to pray to Jehovah every night and during the day for help to get me through the day. And it "worked".
Well now I don't pray at all, and do you know what? I still get through the day!
Satan doesn't make me lose my keys like some 'brothers and sisters' used to claim. "He made me late for meeting!".

I feel incredible sorrow that my family refuses to see or entertain that the truth is anything but.
But I am also aware that it doesn't really matter - I am not going to take their drug away from them.

For those who have been out for 5 years or more.......

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