reading COC for the first time (page 3)

Emery

I love reading posts like this, it's a long journey but the freedom is worth it.

You're definitely not alone, I went through much the same feelings reading that book. I'd so long held on to the WWI outbreak in 1914 as the last thing that meant that it was "the truth" and when I let myself think critically on that, I realized that if it wasn't the truth, then it meant that the GB had been systematically lying to me and all my loved ones for my entire life. For a while I held to the thought that no one was that evil to do that, and it couldn't possibly be the case. Once I read through jwfacts and CoC, it finally hit me like a ton of bricks that this organization is the worst thing that i've ever encountered.

You're very lucky that you're able to make the journey with your wife for support. Many aren't that lucky. If you start to feel like it's too much, remember you're not alone and many more have made it through alone and turned out just fine. You can do it too.

zed is dead

Dear Tigersuit,

I disagree strongly with the self loathing comments that some have told you to repeat to yourself. It is not a helpful thing to dwell on the past, especially if you were born into this religion.

When you are a born-in, you have no field of reference to determine if it is right or wrong. You just naturally trust your parents and the elders in your congregation. It was your normal. What I liked about Ray's books is that he is just telling his story without vitriol or malice. As a JW that I gave it to said, "It is not an apostate book, is is just his memoirs."

I ended up reading all CoC in less than 48 hours after getting it. I experienced ambivalent emotions when reading it, a mixture of anger, frustration, relief and pain.

I recommend that you be kind to yourself and heal. Welcome to JWN!

Big hugs,

zed

Watchtower-Free

Tribute to the Book "Crisis of Conscience" by Ray Franz
https://www.facebook.com/escapethecult

3rdgen

T i m Tigersuit, Welcome! I am so glad to see another couple wake up together like hubby and I did. I especially love it when Elders leave. My guess is that you saw and heard things that troubled you but filed those under the catch all "Jehovah will take care of it in his due time" CoC lets the cat out of the bag that the WTBT$ is not and never has been Gods channel. However, before you kick yourself too hard it's good to read Steve Hassan's books about combatting cult mind control. Please read about the B.I.T.E method used by cults and analize whether you were under that influence. Reading his books helped keep us sane during our exit. All the best to you and your wife. Keep us posted on your journey will you?

DJS

zed, i agree. I think Focus uses a bit (a lot?) of hyperbole to make a point. That is how I took it and meant it.

This is my tigersuit

yes thanks guys! i did read combatting cult mind control last week. we were blown away. yes as an elder i clearly saw that there is more emphasis placed on procedure and policy than on the individuals. i will continue to post as we go thru our journey. we really want to avoid an ugly departure, so we're trying to be very careful. everyone here has been great.

villagegirl

When you are a born-in, you have no field of reference to determine if it is right or wrong. You just naturally trust your parents and the elders in your congregation. It was your normal. What I liked about Ray's books is that he is just telling his story without vitriol or malice. - by zed is dead

"no field of reference,to determine if it is right or wrong"

Very well said. Few of us are raised into families or

social environments, free of bias. Insight is rare.

And that goes for atheists as well, who are insistant upon

their own view and the belief they are "enlightened".

Some go from being a WT elder and advocate to being

determined to destroy all ideas about God and you will

find them here, bashing anything remotely connected to

God, scriptures, or faith of any kind. They have been called,

evangelical atheists, although they hate the term. A true

atheists would not even be here at all. They are destroyers

and their purpose is to mock and disrupt and attack.

For no purpose, except to advance thier own opinion.

opusdei1972

I was aware about CoC 12 years ago. At first, I rejected to read it, because I thought that Ray was an apostate and an Evil man. I thought it because the Watchtower taught me that if an anointed falls into apostasy, he would be against the Holy Spirit, his sin would not be forgiven. One day, after defending the Watchtower faith against the Catholic faith of my cousin, he quoted me some portions of the book, so I had to read it. However, after a carful reading I noted that CoC exposed some interesting aspects of the Watchtower policies and legalisms that I had criticized in the past. Some years later, after a deep research on the history of the Watchower, I had to admit that Raymond was totaly right by exposing the falsehood of the religion. One of the books who helped me to see the fraud of this cult was Apocalypse Delayed. When I read that RUtherford was a drunken, I could not believe it, but I confirmed it by reading his diatribes against Walter Salter and Olin Moyle.

tornapart

Yes, I felt like you when I first read CoC... as you can see from the username I chose. A couple of years on I don't feel that way anymore. Take it slow, don't rush things, give yourself time to adjust and come to terms with it all before you decide what you are going to do.

reading COC for the first time