We should all meet up at a central location. Stuckinarut, you are in Australia, DD is in the midwest, DHOH where are you? I am in NY state. Maybe we can meet up for a week in Fiji to hang out, burn some stress and talk! I wish it were possible lol.
A "follow up" meeting?!?!
by DATA-DOG 68 Replies latest watchtower beliefs
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OneEyedJoe
A little on a tangent, but relating to your comment about them having to put you into a category - I recently watched a TED talk (Kathryn Schulz: On being wrong) when the speaker talked about the assumptions we make about people who disagree with us. It's easy to see people go through these phases, and I think it's happening with your elders. The three assumptions you make, in order are:
Ignorance (i.e. the other person just doesn't have all the information - Lets read these scriptures)
Then once they realize that you're familiar with all the information/scriptures/WT articles on the topic that they are, they move to:
Idiocy - You just don't understand, you don't have the ability to reason clearly.
Once you demonstrate that you're thinking clearly, they move on to the final one:
The Evil assumption. This is where you're likely at now. You've demonstrated that you have all the information and you're thinking clearly, so the only (in their minds) logical way that you could still be sayings something contrary to their beliefs is if you know the truth, but you're concealing it.
This is a pretty fundamental part of human nature, and I think one of the reasons cults are so successful at controlling people. It's your first reaction to classify intelligent, well informed dissenters as evil. If you have your cult friends backing you up on this assumption, it becomes unshakable.
I don't have anything to add specific to your situation, as I've never been through it, but I want to thank you for continuing to share your story, as it helps me to prepare myself for the road ahead. We're all pulling for ya, and I hope you're able to get out clean.
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Bob_NC
This is an interesting thread.
However DATADOG, may I suggest a simple reply. Brothers, we covered it all in our last meeting. I don't have anything new to add.
But Brother DATADOG, the elders feel that......................
Thank you again, but we covered everything I wanted to say, nothing has changed. I do not want to meet with you again.
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Mum
There's no good reason to meet with them. Live by your owh rules, not theirs. It's time to make a clean break. Best wishes.
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DesirousOfChange
Thank you again, but we covered everything I wanted to say, nothing has changed. I do not want to meet with you again.
Then add: "I'm content to WAIT ON JEHOVAH to reveal things more clearly. That's what I'm determined to do. WAIT on Jehovah."
Then wait somewhere else besides all the boring meetings. Find a nice pub that night. (Prob wouldn't suggest going regularly to that gay bar.)
Doc
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minimus
You've said enough. NO MORE DISCUSSIONS! That's my advice.
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OneEyedJoe
DoC - I love it. I think i may use that..."I'm waiting on jehovah, I'm just not waiting at the KH"
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TTATTelder
Just throwing my 2 cents here:
I'm still serving as an elder as many of you have in the past and I can tell you that they "investigated" you the first time. Then they reported back to the body.
Here's the thing:
Regardless of how the "cool" brother personally feels, they are obligated to act according to the consensus of the body. If this other brother (the not cool one) spewed some personal feelings or negativity about you or the bad impression he got - then this next visit could be to push the issue harder.
If it's 3 brothers its already a committee. You have a right to ask if this has turned into something judicial.
It prob hasn't yet, but still could. Many times this next visit is a 2nd-investigation/give-counsel meeting. In other words, they most likely are being sent to give you stern counsel, warnings, share scriptures, pray, yada yada in order to "readjust" you. But they also simultaneously will be asking a few more probing questions to see if they can fish out anything that you may have held back in the first meeting. If there's more stuff uncovered then they will report back again and it could escalate.
Honestly I have to say, as much as we all on here like to be forthright and tell it like it is, you do not owe these men the truth. A fade is a deception by definition.
I personally reserve the right to bald face lie to any elders that ask me anything ever. In other words answer the questions however you must to make them go away. You are on the radar now. That's not good. But if they feel like they "saved" you then they will hopefully go back to the body and pat each other on the back and move along. Then of course you can get back to the evil plan LOL.
-TE
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TTATTelder
One more thing:
The whole "avoid the meeting thing" could work, but IMO could more likely backfire in that it keeps you in suspicion and thus on the radar. If you are on the radar you get brought up at quarterly meetings and CO visits. I like the fake "thanks for saving me" meeting to get them off your back myself.
-TE
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DesirousOfChange
Honestly I have to say, as much as we all on here like to be forthright and tell it like it is, you do not owe these men the truth. A fade is a deception by definition.
I personally reserve the right to bald face lie to any elders that ask me anything ever. In other words answer the questions however you must to make them go away. You are on the radar now. That's not good. But if they feel like they "saved" you then they will hopefully go back to the body and pat each other on the back and move along. Then of course you can get back to the evil plan LOL.
Good advise. You are not compromising some standard of integrity or loyalty if you simply "tell them what they want to hear" (IOW -- LIE). You are not a bad person if you deceive them. They are not their to help you. They are there to kick people like you to the curb.
Doc