Seriously considering stepping down as Elder (page 2)

Skinnedsheep

I quit about 3 years ago and am now completely out with my family. best thing I ever did was step down.

fader77

My family will never leave it. Trust me. I'm 3rd generation. 3rd generation from both sides of my family

You never know Fader. My husband was 4th gen on his mothers side and 3rd on his fathers and he was an elder for years. When he was 58 I woke up and was able to get him to read Crisis of Conscience and he never went back. I would suggest reading Steven Hassen's books and he will let you know how to approach the situation. Don't give up before you have even tried because your wife may have doubts that you are not aware of.

fader77

Yeah. I guess its a possibility. They just all seem so rooted in it though. I've made hints of comments about blatant things that are out of sorts with the organization. I am always rebuffed for it, so that's why I have my doubts.

Skinnedsheep

Show them your flock book

fader77

oh they'd never look at it. They're too loyal to the organization. My wife accidentally pulled it out of my bag and dropped it like it was a poisonous snake (well it kind of is actually lol). She said "oh i shouldn't see this, it's confidential"

sarahsmile

I hope you seek out professional counselling. Do you feel like your in a war zone because for some exJW that is how it feels like. Anger,confusion, and

unnecessary stress due to elders lies and bull crap.

Post Trumatic Stress.

Also

cognitive dissonance is the excessive mental stress and discomfort [ 1 ] experienced by an individual who (1) holds two or more contradictory beliefs, ideas, or values at the same time or (2) is confronted by new information that conflicts with existing beliefs, ideas, or values. This stress and discomfort may also arise within an individual who holds a belief and performs a contradictory action or reaction. [ 2 ]

Trying to be a Jw elder after realizing they are bull shit and causing harm to you and your family members is just asking for more anxieties and harm.Your red flags are working.

Being around a group of mentally ill elders who lacks power in the real world will mess your head up!

For years!

If your sufferring from a little anxiety just keep attending and you could end up worse.

Do you have a hobbie you could do instead of meetings? Or maybe sports.

Aunt Fancy

When I was reading books about the JW's I would tell my husband things and he would give me the pat JW answers and I finally got mad and told him "that is what they said you would say", he got mad and told me to give him the book and he would read it. I think in his case he had stepped down because he didn't like what was going on and he was ready to hear it. Maybe you could tell her a little at a time so she realizes the org is not perfect. Do what will relive stress from your life. Being an elder can take its toll and if you are aware it isn't the truth then there is so much added stress.

fader77

The part that hurts the most is the fact that I gave up an opportunity to have the love of my soul mate. I fell in love with the most wonderful gal on Earth over the internet. She wanted me to come over and start a new life there in Australia (I'm in the U.S.), and I didn't :( I wished I had now. Worst mistake of my life. Now she's married and has a kid. I hope the best for her, but I cry whenever I think about it. I'm only with my wife because I got caught into the traditional JW marriage. I just can't bring myself to love her. I care about her, but it'll never be right.

sarahsmile

Maybe you need to let your wife go so she can be with someone else.

Seriously considering stepping down as Elder

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