Update on Fading Question

by wallievase 14 Replies latest jw friends

• 

  DesirousOfChange

  See what SEARCHERsaid above.

  DITTO.

  Doc
• 

  Freedom77

  Wallievase, do you want to go back into the Organization and return to good standing as a faithful JW? Talk to the elders.

  Or, do you want to be DF'd or DA'd and then shunned by everyone you know, starting with your wife? Talk to the elders.

  Or, do you want to be your own man, be true to yourself, and live the life YOU want to lead? Don't say a single word to the elders.

  Not in person, not on the phone, not in writing. Nothing, nada, zip.

  The choice is yours to make. You owe them nothing. They do not own you.

  "Do not fear him." Deut. 18:22
• 

  jgnat

  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FhAka2-WMQg

  If she arranges a surprise visit from the elders, quietly leave the house.

  I am a strong believer in working on the marriage and blowing off the elders. Those closest to you should be on your side. Work on that. Even while "in" hubby protected me from prying elders and pioneers and made excuses for me. We always knew we had each other's back. It didn't hurt that I had all sorts of "dirt" on him if the elders ever knew....
• 

  Giordano

  Getting baptized as a JW is similar to checking in to the Hotel California......they think you can never leave without being severely punished. You can leave. Say nothing even to your wife relating to the WTBTS. If she questions you about your new or strange beliefs tell her that this would be a private conversation and for her to treat it just as if they asked her about your intimate sex life...its none of their business.

  You have to pivot into a new WT free reality. You can't do that by having talks with one and never with two or more Elders. Nor can you do that if your marriage is going to be held hostage to you talking to those elders and mandatory meeting attendance. Your wife needs to understand that she also has to get used to a new reality, you staying home from meetings and enjoying your down time.

  Tell your wife that you have serious issues but will only discuss them with her if she has issues as well, and that you can be assured that your personal conversation will be private. Liken it to your marital sex life........ would she feel ok about discussing intimate and private stuff like that with the elders?

  Make sure she understands that she is not to commit you to a meeting with Elders at home or at the KH.

  Remind her that not only do they shun a person for biblical moral offenses but also if you publicly DA yourself (same result) because your thinking has changed.
• 

  mann377

  Try this: When the elders come over just start crying (with tears) saying you have been deprogramed and you don't know what to do! See the looks on their faces